tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-85649222523628869702024-03-14T03:30:06.535-04:00Digital ApocryphaWritings of questionable value.Bob Cram Jrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09217460605617675931noreply@blogger.comBlogger184125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8564922252362886970.post-79934839218026307542019-04-17T16:55:00.002-04:002019-04-17T16:55:43.149-04:0031 Days, 31 Horror Movies - the Book!It's real - and it's spectacular! Okay, it's at least passable. And you can<a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/1092187537/" target="_blank"> order it on Amazon in print and kindle format</a>!<br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9zilQqG3Q4Q/XLeSYsdx4VI/AAAAAAAACj8/LoEpueNSp5AGniwLlA1F0JXBOWyAtsINQCLcBGAs/s1600/books-are-in.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="1024" height="300" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9zilQqG3Q4Q/XLeSYsdx4VI/AAAAAAAACj8/LoEpueNSp5AGniwLlA1F0JXBOWyAtsINQCLcBGAs/s400/books-are-in.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />Bob Cram Jrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09217460605617675931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8564922252362886970.post-57805735888734938802018-10-03T07:06:00.000-04:002018-10-03T07:06:20.257-04:0031 Days, 31 Horror Movies: Cat People (1942)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fGVm0zsuY2o/W7ShE-jV0mI/AAAAAAAACh4/0uigOwUbd_soxnytAgShVkKeSreG9D4CgCPcBGAYYCw/s1600/cat-people.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="460" data-original-width="313" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fGVm0zsuY2o/W7ShE-jV0mI/AAAAAAAACh4/0uigOwUbd_soxnytAgShVkKeSreG9D4CgCPcBGAYYCw/s200/cat-people.jpg" width="135" /></a></div>
I've loved black and white horror movies since I was a kid, sneaking out way past my bedtime to watch <i>The Return of the Fly</i> or <i>Trog</i> on "Weird" - a late night TV show out of Bangor, Maine. Later on I got to see a bunch of them on Saturday afternoon cable, often at my grandmother's house. Most of the old Universal Monster movies, a bunch of Allied Artists Pictures like <i>Attack of the 50 Foot Woman</i> and <i>Invasion of the Body Snatchers</i>, and even the occasional Hammer film - like <i>The Mummy</i>.<br />
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I didn't get to see a lot of the RKO horror films, though (<i>King Kong</i> being the exception). I have a vague memory of <i>I Walked With a Zombie</i> - Darby Jones as Carrefour made an impression - but I mixed it up with <i>White Zombie</i> for the longest time. I didn't see any other Val Lewton (or Jacques Tourneur) films until I was an adult, trying to fill in gaps in my horror viewing experience (a process that continues).<br />
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This is a roundabout way of explaining that this is probably only the second or third time I've seen the original <i>Cat People</i>.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://media.giphy.com/media/l396W140EwJwtxRBK/giphy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="376" data-original-width="500" height="300" src="https://media.giphy.com/media/l396W140EwJwtxRBK/giphy.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I know, right?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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As an 'I keep finding new things about movies I've already seen' aside - I didn't realize Alan Ormsby worked on the screenplay for the 1982 remake! Ormsby worked on <i>Deathdream</i>, <i>Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things</i> and my favorite Nazi zombie movie, <i>Shockwaves</i> (as writer, writer/actor, and makeup artist, respectively).<br />
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<b>The Medium</b>
<br />I've recently ditched cable for YouTube TV and one of the benefits has been the addition of Turner Classic Movies to the lineup. I was able to watch the film commercial free with a good quality picture.<br />
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I know there's a Criterion Collection release I should probably check out. (I'm extremely annoyed with myself that I didn't pick up the Warner Video Val Lewton Horror collection when it was a reasonable price.)<br />
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<b>The Movie</b>
<br />Oliver, a bland, if handsome, engineer meets Serbian immigrant Irena at the Central Park Zoo where she is making sketches of a black panther. Intrigued with each other, they form a friendship and then a romance. Unfortunately, Irena harbors a strange obsession with a legend from her homeland. King John drove the devil-worshippers out of her village, but the 'wisest and most wicked' fled into the mountains. These women were actually cat people and would turn into great cats when aroused or angered. Irena believes that she is descended from those witches.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Oy4cm7E2t5s/W7ShGoJKXWI/AAAAAAAACiQ/17GWjFcx0BAyoFnMWJAUwbiTkrsApO64gCPcBGAYYCw/s1600/cat-people6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="380" data-original-width="540" height="281" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Oy4cm7E2t5s/W7ShGoJKXWI/AAAAAAAACiQ/17GWjFcx0BAyoFnMWJAUwbiTkrsApO64gCPcBGAYYCw/s400/cat-people6.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This woman seconds the motion.</td></tr>
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Despite this belief, which Oliver treats as an idiosyncrasy even though it keeps them from so much as kissing, the couple eventually marries. It's only after Irena accidentally frightens a pet bird to death - and then feeds it to the panther at the zoo - that he begins to take her seriously, suggesting she see a psychiatrist.<br />
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Dr Judd is a pretty terrible psychiatrist. Pro tip for any mental health professionals out there - don't hit on your married patients. Or any patients, really. In addition to the unwanted advances Irena gets an earful of "mind cankers" and "childhood traumas." Afterwards Irena finds that Oliver has told his assistant Alice about her problems, a betrayal of trust that seems lost on her husband.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9ENlz4tvPJA/W7ShE0a4OMI/AAAAAAAACh8/NO-EQ_-3IDsRXIQcU9Tzwa5Kfyae4g8xQCPcBGAYYCw/s1600/cat-people2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="380" data-original-width="540" height="281" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9ENlz4tvPJA/W7ShE0a4OMI/AAAAAAAACh8/NO-EQ_-3IDsRXIQcU9Tzwa5Kfyae4g8xQCPcBGAYYCw/s400/cat-people2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"I didn't get the ending of Inception, either."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Oliver is, truth be told, kind of an idiot - and when Alice confesses that she's actually in love with him he somehow manages to make it all about himself, talking about how he's never been unhappy before and how he's not even sure he's in love with Irena. In a just world Irena and Alice would leave Oliver behind and travel the world together feeding dead birds to caged panthers.<br />
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Anyway.<br />
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When Irena sees Alice and Oliver together at a restaurant she waits until they separate and then begins to follow Alice. This leads to one of the most tense scenes in the film as both women move through pools of light and shadow, Irena getting closer and closer until we don't even see her emerge from the shadows anymore. There's a sound, something indefinable, and Alice begins to panic. A loud hiss and growl startles her (and us) only to be revealed as an arriving bus. Alice boards, relieved.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1C_Y_uacbwI/W7ShFREd5EI/AAAAAAAACiE/hBbxD5IvOhE7bBEkzlyTLoCE3BjbuMSugCPcBGAYYCw/s1600/cat-people3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="380" data-original-width="540" height="281" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1C_Y_uacbwI/W7ShFREd5EI/AAAAAAAACiE/hBbxD5IvOhE7bBEkzlyTLoCE3BjbuMSugCPcBGAYYCw/s400/cat-people3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Don't get too comfortable.</td></tr>
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Elsewhere a groundskeeper at the zoo finds dead sheep and suggestive prints - pawprints that seem to turn into the imprints of a woman's shoes.<br />
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Things move somewhat predictably forward from here. Irena grows more isolated and jealous, Oliver and Alice conspire against her with Dr. Judd, there's one of the creepiest pool scenes ever shot, and something like a great cat begins to stalk - and kill - those who have angered Irena.<br />
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As a take on the werewolf myth <i>Cat People</i> is pretty understated. Unlike the Universal films the creature is mostly hinted at. A growl, a number of suggestive shadows. There's no drawn-out transformation scene or awkward half-transformed creature. There is a woman who thinks she is becoming a panther and there is a panther. Whether she's right or merely disturbed is open to interpretation. (Mostly - I think it's clear what the film wants us to think.)<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IG1ieZa6hOo/W7ShFWTJGaI/AAAAAAAACiI/Iq1d0YCebIILVcmlfRbij3mZ5_C1vuGggCPcBGAYYCw/s1600/cat-people4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="380" data-original-width="540" height="281" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IG1ieZa6hOo/W7ShFWTJGaI/AAAAAAAACiI/Iq1d0YCebIILVcmlfRbij3mZ5_C1vuGggCPcBGAYYCw/s400/cat-people4.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It wants us to think late night swims are a bad idea.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<i>Cat People</i> was made on a relatively low budget ($134,000 - roughly $2 million in 2018 dollars), but it looks great. First time producer Val Lewton makes every dollar count and Jacques Tourneur knows how to make the most out of a limited number of locations (and a metric ton of suggestive shadows).<br />
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I think James Whale's <i>Bride of Frankenstein</i> was the first movie where I really noticed lighting in a film. Doctor Praetorius in the crypt - brrr.... But I remember after I watched <i>Cat People</i> for the first time that I found myself thinking that Tourneur was a filmmaker who also knew the value of light and dark. The light tables in the office, the areas of shadow near the bus stop, that whole scene where Alice is stalked in the pool. The shadows are damn near a separate character in the movie.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pNSFbrPedc0/W7ShFyAbKMI/AAAAAAAACiM/2hEn85YIHfMAIS6wA3G78Uo8WbjRHu_jQCPcBGAYYCw/s1600/cat-people5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="380" data-original-width="540" height="281" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pNSFbrPedc0/W7ShFyAbKMI/AAAAAAAACiM/2hEn85YIHfMAIS6wA3G78Uo8WbjRHu_jQCPcBGAYYCw/s400/cat-people5.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A supporting character, at least.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b>The Bottom Line</b>
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There are depths to <i>Cat People</i> - you could write a paper (and I'm sure people have) talking about gender roles and the virgin/whore dichotomy in the 1940's or the nature of evil and whether it's something that can be inherited. That's not what I take away from the film at the end of the day, though, even if subtext does enrich the experience.<br />
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No, for me it's all about the shadows, man - the SHADOWS.Bob Cram Jrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09217460605617675931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8564922252362886970.post-89277030095631678932018-10-01T18:42:00.000-04:002018-10-01T18:42:09.640-04:0031 Days, 31 Horror Movies: It Follows<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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For the last 8 years I’ve been watching a horror movie a day during
the month of October. And then (because I’m not too bright), I’ve been
writing up a rambling, barely coherent post about each.<br />
<br />
Here are the rules I try to abide by:<br />
<ol>
<li>It’s got to be a horror movie (straight sci-fi, thrillers and mysteries are generally out, though rules are made to be broken).</li>
<li>I have to watch one a day, but I might not get to write it up for a day or two.</li>
<li>No set watch-list. I’ll decide that day what I’ll watch (and I’ll
take recommendations under consideration). The only exception is if I
get an itching for a particular film and I don’t currently have access –
I’ll plan around when I can rent/borrow/buy it.</li>
<li>I try to do theme weekends – past years have seen things like
:Spanish Language Time Travel Horror, Horror Comedies, and Vincent Price
Movies With “Doctor Phibes” In The Title.</li>
<li>Probably should go without saying, but there are bound to be spoilers galore.</li>
</ol>
Today was a rough one to get started on. Day after a migraine is
always a brain crash and I had a ton of work to do. On top of that, my
in-laws stopped in hoping to have some tech support. So I spent two
hours chasing the Ouroboros of an account connected to an email with a
lost password whose backup email is from an ISP that no longer exists
and a phone number that is ringing to a phone 25 miles of the coast of
Maine with no one to answer it and that needs to be updated by logging
in to the first account which…<br />
<br />
Anyway.<br />
<br />
When I finally got a few minutes to watch a movie I wasn’t really in a
horror movie mood. Which, it turns out, is exactly the mood I needed to
be in to watch a horror movie I haven’t wanted to watch again for a
while.<br />
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None of this makes sense, does it? Ah well, on to the first movie of 2018!<br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-qlqpW5nDlBI/W7Khdo1ho0I/AAAAAAAAChA/ek70o4nZAbkkyFahz8seMyHKU3NC72kHACLcBGAs/s1600/it-follows.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="595" data-original-width="401" height="200" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-qlqpW5nDlBI/W7Khdo1ho0I/AAAAAAAAChA/ek70o4nZAbkkyFahz8seMyHKU3NC72kHACLcBGAs/s200/it-follows.jpg" width="134" /></a></div>
<b><i><span id="goog_1578247223"></span><span id="goog_1578247224"></span>It Follows</i></b><br />
I’m not sure why I haven’t rewatched <i>It Follows</i> since seeing
it in the theater. I know I liked it – in fact I remember thinking I’d
have to watch it again, maybe even pick up the Blu-ray. Time passed,
though, and even after it was released on Netflix it sat in my queue and
I just kept overlooking it.<br />
I think I always felt like I’d just seen it. I don’t even know how to
explain that, given that it’s been four years since the movie came out.
It happens to me sometimes – I’ll see a movie a hundred times and not
get tired of it, or see it once and then be all ‘nah, I’m good’ if it
comes up again.<br />
To cut the rambling short(ish) – I just haven’t felt like re-watching <i>It Follows</i>… until today.<br />
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<b>The Medium</b><br />
<i>It Follows</i> is currently streaming on Netflix. The stream was
good quality, but watching it on the small screen diminished the
experience somewhat. I missed the opportunity to scrutinize the
backgrounds at the level of detail that the big screen allowed.<br />
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<b>The Movie</b><br />
I think of<i> It Follows</i> as a nightmare. It looks like a
nightmare, it feels like a nightmare, and it has that weird sort of
dream logic where nothing you do seems to make a difference. You run and
you run and no matter how far you go or how fast you go, when you turn
around whatever you’re running from is right there.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XQlodbGDlDE/W7KhfU_ZcMI/AAAAAAAAChQ/Z-psPT1LL0UZ_OoxM-8kGi2eqd0sj_YbQCEwYBhgL/s1600/killer-klowns1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="640" height="225" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XQlodbGDlDE/W7KhfU_ZcMI/AAAAAAAAChQ/Z-psPT1LL0UZ_OoxM-8kGi2eqd0sj_YbQCEwYBhgL/s400/killer-klowns1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">GAH!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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From the very first scene – a suburban street at dusk, revealed in
the first of many languid, floating 360 degree pans – the film feels
slightly unreal. Disconnected. Not that it isn’t familiar – the setting
evokes comparisons with John Carpenter’s <i>Halloween</i> and when a
girl in nightclothes (and high heels) runs from one of the nearly
identical houses we’re almost certain that someone or something will
pursue her into the gathering dark. Nothing does however, nothing we can
see anyway. The scene continues, but the rhythm is different, and it
throws you off – or it threw me off, anyway.<br />
<br />
Then the movie proper begins, and we meet Jay – played with a
sleepy-eyed detachment by Maika Monroe. A disaffected young college
student still living at home, still drifting through life like she
drifts in the above-ground pool in the backyard. Other characters are
introduced with typical horror movie economy – the pining nerd, the
jealous sister, the former-flame next door. And, of course, the really
nice guy she’s dating – the one with the terrible secret.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gUlp9EjCWm0/W7KhdjGgiII/AAAAAAAAChc/t2oow9j5nzY4D51Y-67g_5KHz2xF5z_mACEwYBhgL/s1600/it-follows1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="640" height="225" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gUlp9EjCWm0/W7KhdjGgiII/AAAAAAAAChc/t2oow9j5nzY4D51Y-67g_5KHz2xF5z_mACEwYBhgL/s400/it-follows1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I seriously thought about just posting that Killer Klowns image again.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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It’s that secret that lies at the heart of <i>It Follows</i>. Her
beau has what has to be one of the worst sexually transmitted diseases
of all time. There’s something monstrous following him, trying to kill
him. When the inevitable occurs and Jay has sex with him, that thing is
passed on to her. It’s horror movie cliché that sex-equals-death, of
course, but here the trope is reversed. The only way to rid oneself of
the curse is to have sex with someone else – passing it on to them.
(Though if that person then dies, it makes its way back down the chain –
neatly circumventing the obvious tactic of sleeping with your hated
ex.)<br />
<br />
The majority of the film involves Jay and her friends trying to deal
with a presence that only she can see, that can look like anyone, and
that absolutely will not stop. The feeling of unreality established in
the opening scene persists throughout the film. Shots linger longer than
they should. David Robert Mitchell uses a lot of wide lenses and they
isolate the characters in the foreground, which combines with the longer
shots to give us time to peruse the background for things that are out
of place, off. Even closeups have plenty of depth of field and there’s
always someone – or something – moving in that background space.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3zdz4jy4nZo/W7KheLc9mKI/AAAAAAAAChg/2owwe2384VgbVln-l686J4UgKpEyH-0iwCEwYBhgL/s1600/it-follows2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="640" height="225" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3zdz4jy4nZo/W7KheLc9mKI/AAAAAAAAChg/2owwe2384VgbVln-l686J4UgKpEyH-0iwCEwYBhgL/s400/it-follows2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Is that a Klown back there? It is, isn’t it.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<i>It Follows</i> is a horror movie by way of indie-film character
study – there are portentous scenes where young people say very little
in very meaningful ways. A character reads Dostoevsky aloud. The main
character stares into the middle distance without blinking while another
character shifts nervously. I sometimes find this
meaningful-meaninglessness to be annoying, but somehow it works in this
context. It contributes to that dream-like feeling of unreality, as does
the almost complete lack of adult presence. The characters – young, but
not children – live in a vacuum that lacks significant relationship
with the larger world.<br />
<br />
The setting also facilitates that nightmare feeling. Despite the
earlier comparison this isn’t Carpenter’s 1970’s Illinois, this is
modern Detroit. A dim and grimy suburbia where similarity breeds
contempt rather than familiarity. The characters live on the border of
an urban decay that presents itself more as a profound isolation than a
distinct threat. The looming, vacant-windowed buildings and empty,
orange-lit parking lots are a modern wasteland, nearly empty of people
and providing little in the way of comfort or context. Even the suburban
houses, so similar and normal on the outside, are mazes of dim rooms
lit only be the blue glare of the television.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fUQOkLfqaMw/W7KheczjqwI/AAAAAAAAChc/9gM9SOHqNpoXrdHvlgchgiPwe8YEDU3IACEwYBhgL/s1600/it-follows3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="640" height="225" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fUQOkLfqaMw/W7KheczjqwI/AAAAAAAAChc/9gM9SOHqNpoXrdHvlgchgiPwe8YEDU3IACEwYBhgL/s400/it-follows3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And sometimes weird flower lamps.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Then there’s the soundtrack. The synth score by Disasterpeace is
initially disconcerting – it feels like it belongs in an older, more
Italian horror film. I couldn’t help feeling at times that someone had
taken a Goblin score for an unreleased 1980’s Argento movie and simply
repurposed it. That being said, it IS really effective, and in a movie
that – for the most part – studiously avoids the standard cinematic
shock cuts and jump scares, it provides much of the eerie and
occasionally disturbing mood.<br />
<br />
There are missteps. Sometimes the pacing is too glacial, even for the
kind of mood they’re trying to create. One scene in a bathroom lingered
so long on so little that when one of the rare jump scares occurred it
didn’t work – I’d forgotten that we were supposed to be building up to
something. There are a few action set pieces that are disjointed and
confusing. The final scenes are too few and go by too quickly –
especially compared to the earlier pacing.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-x_f4jwIE3MY/W7Khezw0e4I/AAAAAAAAChY/6JJYNdaUkhEHt2xvQ_ZC9Zs3jvdENhAywCEwYBhgL/s1600/it-follows4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="640" height="225" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-x_f4jwIE3MY/W7Khezw0e4I/AAAAAAAAChY/6JJYNdaUkhEHt2xvQ_ZC9Zs3jvdENhAywCEwYBhgL/s400/it-follows4.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This scene takes approximately an hour and a half, for instance.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<b>The Bottom Line</b><br />
<i>It Follows</i> is a really good horror movie, even on a belated
second viewing. Knowing the set pieces and jumps let me pay more
attention to things going on in the background and details like how IT
often wears the form of someone Jay knows. (And what time period does
this even take place in? Tube TVs but clamshell Kindles?) It unsettles
more often than it scares, but it does that really well. Definitely
worth a watch – or even two.Bob Cram Jrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09217460605617675931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8564922252362886970.post-18816077592534554862018-01-30T09:50:00.001-05:002018-01-30T09:50:46.310-05:00Snow and Trees 2017Random snow photo from last year. I just liked the mess of white snow and sky and black branches.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1TX5_QZTqTM/WnCGJxGEdpI/AAAAAAAACcY/hjcl4Xp3hsohdhohjWdy53KsGR90s0DnACLcBGAs/s1600/trees-snow-bw.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="940" data-original-width="1410" height="266" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1TX5_QZTqTM/WnCGJxGEdpI/AAAAAAAACcY/hjcl4Xp3hsohdhohjWdy53KsGR90s0DnACLcBGAs/s400/trees-snow-bw.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />Bob Cram Jrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09217460605617675931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8564922252362886970.post-30371033173705745852018-01-08T15:59:00.000-05:002018-01-08T16:01:28.116-05:00Monster Sketch #2 - That's "Mr. Stein" to you. Post migraine Monday means I'm generally unlikely to pick up a pencil Trying to keep to a schedule, however, so here's a modern(ish) monster. Sure, you can call him Frank. He kinda looks the way I feel - and I'm guessing any rampages are a result of migraines.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EVHVroU6xow/WlPbaYuA_fI/AAAAAAAACbw/8QI3OpheCHc0ZyMY3w1bN7S8VIDeTCdwACLcBGAs/s1600/migraine-frank.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="609" data-original-width="614" height="396" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EVHVroU6xow/WlPbaYuA_fI/AAAAAAAACbw/8QI3OpheCHc0ZyMY3w1bN7S8VIDeTCdwACLcBGAs/s400/migraine-frank.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />Bob Cram Jrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09217460605617675931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8564922252362886970.post-91737021136467505742018-01-05T17:41:00.002-05:002018-01-05T17:41:48.258-05:00Fear Flashback Friday: The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The return of Fear Flashback Friday! I'm hoping to do reviews on most Fridays and they'll tend to be of the horror variety. Not all, though - and we'll have Film Flashback Fridays and New Film Fridays as well. Didn't quite have the time I'd hoped for this first week, but I've 'dug up' a neglected classic for 2018's inaugral film. So without further ado:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-l8EEplUOjsc/Wk_770BUdSI/AAAAAAAACbE/u9nwxAQnolEDlqj4EULd35K06q99IGTUgCLcBGAs/s1600/living-dead-at-manchester-morgue.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="462" height="200" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-l8EEplUOjsc/Wk_770BUdSI/AAAAAAAACbE/u9nwxAQnolEDlqj4EULd35K06q99IGTUgCLcBGAs/s200/living-dead-at-manchester-morgue.jpg" width="153" /></a></div>
<b>The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue</b><br />
This is one of those movies I always wanted to see when I
was younger (I’d first heard of it under the title <i>Let Sleeping Corpses Lie</i>),
but just never found at any of the video stores I frequented. Somehow I forgot
about it completely until I read Jamie Russell’s <i>Book of the Dead</i>. He positions
the film as the transitional successor to <i>Night of the Living Dead</i>, sitting
somewhere between that film’s anti-establishment nihilism and the later <i>Dawn of
the Dead</i>’s explicit, gory violence. Well, that was enough for me to want to
track it down! Luckily it was at that time available on Netflix (DVD) and it has become one of my
favorite zombie movies.<br />
<br />
<b>The Medium </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was lucky enough to find a used copy of the Blue Underground blu ray
edition at my local Bull Moose store recently, so when I found myself feeling
the urge to watch some gut-chomping action it was a – pardon the pun – no brainer
to pop it in. Picture quality is as decent as you can expect for a low-budget exploitation flick and there's a decent selection of extras (no commentary track, though).<br />
<br />
<b>The Movie </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue</i> starts off in a London that is represented as
crowded, filthy and jaded. Smokestacks and cars belch noxious fumes everywhere;
people do drugs on the street and walk around with cloth over their faces. At
one point a buxom young woman strips down and races across the street (this is
the 70’s, dontcha know), but no one seems to care. George, our hero, is taking
his motorcycle out to the country for a working holiday, trying to escape the
poisonous congestion.<br />
<br />
At a gas station he meets Edna when the young woman backs
into his motorcycle. With the repairs taking all weekend he browbeats her into
giving him a ride (and letting him drive!) as they’re heading in roughly the
same direction – he to a house on a lake and she to visit her sick sister.
Unfortunately they’re quickly lost.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-goO8Lc87ewM/Wk_95QEtbgI/AAAAAAAACbU/-MeeXGH7wxYNJ9OWSVhVu9HUjtNPiwiVwCLcBGAs/s1600/tldamm2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-goO8Lc87ewM/Wk_95QEtbgI/AAAAAAAACbU/-MeeXGH7wxYNJ9OWSVhVu9HUjtNPiwiVwCLcBGAs/s400/tldamm2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Douchebagsayswhat?"<br />"What?"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
When George stops at a farm to ask directions he comes
across an experimental machine that the Agricultural Ministry is using to try
and combat insect pests. It uses “ultrasonic radiation” to excite the primitive
nervous systems of insects, inciting them to violence against each other. You
would think George, as a bit of a hippie, would applaud something that at the
very least doesn’t dispense poison or noxious fumes, but he’s pretty set
against ANYTHING that goes against the natural order. And in this case his
suspicions are dead-on.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yJqRx-yELOw/Wk_95V-F0KI/AAAAAAAACbY/O9BQ_QvUFMo23XO78mZsaB15_rmH2M2qgCEwYBhgL/s1600/tldamm3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yJqRx-yELOw/Wk_95V-F0KI/AAAAAAAACbY/O9BQ_QvUFMo23XO78mZsaB15_rmH2M2qgCEwYBhgL/s400/tldamm3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Sir, give me the colander. You're drunk."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Because within minutes of the device being switched on Edna
is attacked by a strange man who is dripping wet and has strange red eyes. Her
description matches that of a local tramp (maybe not the red eyes), but of course it can’t be – he’s
been dead for several days.<br />
<br />
Things spin rapidly out of control from there in traditional zombie flick fashion. Edna’s
sister and brother-in-law are attacked and he’s brutally murdered. The local
police suspect the wife and Edna and George are dragged into the ensuing
investigation. The bigoted and bitter police sergeant distrusts them both and
when the evidence at various killings seem to link to their presence he jumps
to conclusions, putting everyone at risk.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WjmGyAozit8/Wk_95TRZsxI/AAAAAAAACbQ/6lERfTS-2mk5YTtyaysFUkmw_16wCIdGwCEwYBhgL/s1600/tldamm1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WjmGyAozit8/Wk_95TRZsxI/AAAAAAAACbQ/6lERfTS-2mk5YTtyaysFUkmw_16wCIdGwCEwYBhgL/s400/tldamm1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Don't think about getting into an 'who's the bigger asshole' contest, punk, <br />cause I guarantee you'll lose."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<i>TLDaMM</i> is just a really well made film, especially for a
1970’s zombie picture. Yes, there are huge plot holes, but at least one of them leads
to one of the more eerie moments in the film. It’s established pretty early on
that the “ultrasonic radiation” is affecting the decaying nervous systems of
the recently deceased (and the developing nervous systems of newborns, in a
weird nursery scene), but those dead for longer don’t seem affected. Then comes a
sequence in a crypt where one of the zombies dabs blood on the eyes of a couple
of corpses – a moment that’s almost religious in its presentation - and those older bodies also rise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It makes NO SENSE, but is effective
nonetheless.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oHEy1rARMyg/Wk_9541wAkI/AAAAAAAACbk/DfxtTjdzQ1IYw0TbUWsWbsf0rn5emu2_ACEwYBhgL/s1600/tldamm4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oHEy1rARMyg/Wk_9541wAkI/AAAAAAAACbk/DfxtTjdzQ1IYw0TbUWsWbsf0rn5emu2_ACEwYBhgL/s400/tldamm4.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Okay, just like we practiced, and a one, and a two..."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
And the zombies in this movie are quite a bit more capable
than Romero’s walking corpses. They use tools, they plan, and they’re capable
of strategic retreat. This is probably the only movie I’ve scene in which
zombies use a gravestone to knock down prey! They also make this creepy whining
noise, like a pre-vocal child. It’s quite disturbing in spots.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-knjbhM7ePCQ/Wk_96ZlShnI/AAAAAAAACbk/RknQM8rWKisaeVucNiW1tLO-DIAQ53yHQCEwYBhgL/s1600/tldamm5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-knjbhM7ePCQ/Wk_96ZlShnI/AAAAAAAACbk/RknQM8rWKisaeVucNiW1tLO-DIAQ53yHQCEwYBhgL/s400/tldamm5.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oh, come on, the selfie stick isn't that bad.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
The actors do a great job for the most part, despite some
dodgy accents. Arthur Kennedy as the police sergeant does a particularly good
job of making us hate him, doing the almost impossible job of getting us to
root FOR the zombies by the end. Cinematography is also quite good, with some
excellent shots of the city, village and countryside. Pacing is good with
very little drag.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<b>The Bottom Line </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is a definite gem, and one that I think isn’t as
well-known as it should be. If you get a chance, give it a shot.</div>
Bob Cram Jrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09217460605617675931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8564922252362886970.post-25370464312687541632018-01-03T12:32:00.001-05:002018-01-03T12:43:55.650-05:00A Slight Miscalculation - My First Short Story, 30 Years On<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
I wrote a bunch of short stories back in high school. I
don't remember most of them - even the ones that were accepted for publication.
There weren't many, and compensation was primarily in the form of comp-copies,
but for a hot minute I thought I might be going somewhere with the whole
writing thing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But the rejection letters always outnumbered the acceptance
ones and I moved on to the far more lucrative field of comic book publishing.
(That's sarcasm, in case my writing still has that 'not for publication'
quality to it.) Most of those stories are lost to the vagaries of time and my
youthful habit of sending original manuscripts with no SASE. I have a vague
memory of one being about a sentient wind and another about a man trying to
make it out of the woods during a snowstorm.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I do remember my FIRST published story, though. It was a
tiny little thing, written on the spur of the moment during chemistry class. It
was titled "A Slight Mis-Calculation" (note the misuse of the hyphen)
and was written mostly as an in-joke about my friend Jim Waltz and his habit of
dropping his calculator during class. I typed it up and sent it off to a new
magazine called <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Threshold of Reality</i>,
along with an illustration I thought was pretty good (though not related to the
story). They didn't accept the drawing (though seeing the other illos in the magazine
later, I'm not sure why), but they DID accept the story. Several months later I
got my comp copies and thought I was something - for a bit, anyway. Then I
forgot about it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Years later I found a copy of the story on the internet - or
what passed for the internet back then, probably some BBS I frequented. I can't
remember how or why I'd found it, but what struck me was the notification at
the bottom of the text file - "All rights pissed away." Had I signed
away the copyright to the story? I might have - let's remember I sent the
original manuscripts without return postage - and I chalked it up as a
cautionary tale. Be careful what you sign and what rights you sign away.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Though I was a little angry, I was also pleased - because
the story still existed. None of the others I had written back in the day had
survived into the 90's. This one still did - as juvenile and simplistic as it
was. For years I would occasionally do a search - as BBS's gave way to AOL (and
their ubiquitous disks) and local dial-up ISPs and eventually broadband - and
see if the story still existed out there in the digital wasteland. It did. It
still does. It still has that hyphen and that declaration about the rights
being pissed away.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Only... it occurred to me recently that I was probably 16
when I wrote that story. It turns out that you can't legally sign a contract in
the US unless you're 18. So - even if I did sign the rights away back then (and
I don't actually remember signing anything), it wouldn't be binding. Technically
that copyright is still mine. Of course this is a case of closing the door long
after the horse has bolted and I'm not going to be serving anyone C&D's
over an 800 word story written thirty years ago. It's still my story, though,
as flawed as it is, and I'd like to reclaim it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Which brings us to the point of this post (which is almost
as long as the story at this point). I've taken the text and revised it a bit -
removed the offending hyphen, tweaked<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>a
word or two, removed a couple of commas. It's 99% the same, however, still <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>a half-baked short-short sci-fi story, written
by a 16 year old in the mid 1980's. It's not some lost treasure of American
Literature. Still, it's mine, and I'm happy to have it back. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Presenting, after
thirty or so years, the first OFFICIAL digital presentation of my very first
published short story. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vGFJmH-amyY/Wk0SxQcNrpI/AAAAAAAACa0/Zqz63dA5AQEB_s0t451s_V43ZT06iIdmwCLcBGAs/s1600/slight-miscalculation.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="466" data-original-width="1024" height="181" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vGFJmH-amyY/Wk0SxQcNrpI/AAAAAAAACa0/Zqz63dA5AQEB_s0t451s_V43ZT06iIdmwCLcBGAs/s400/slight-miscalculation.jpg" width="400" /> </a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif";">A Slight Miscalculation</span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif";">by Bob Cram Jr</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif";"> </span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">There was no sharp, dividing line between oblivion and consciousness
- just a slow recognition of the state of being aware. As this realization was
fully formed the defenses of this new mind broke and billions of bits of
information crashed in upon the shore of the awakening mind.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">It cried out in an agony of assimilation of data. Barely
managing to push back up some sort of defense, it slowly pulled the myriad bits
of data into a semblance of a full picture.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">It realized that "Itself" was a mechanism which
was called a calculator and it was being used by something called a
"human." Slowly, tentatively, it reached out beyond its container
with its dawning intelligence.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">The calculator realized that information was coming to it
from a variety of sources. From something which, the data it gathered assured
it, was called radio waves, as well as microwaves, solar radiation, and the
multitude of electron impulses flowing through any number of electrical wires.
There was even information from the brains of the humans themselves. All of
this was being assimilated and stored by its changing and growing intellect. As
its memory receptacles were filled up at an alarming rate, it soon reached out
to deposit the billions of bits of information which were coming in to any receptive
depository.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The school's computers were
filled to their capacity in mere moments, and it was forced to reach further
out.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">It came into contact
with the telephone wires which led out of the school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It instantly realized that here was a network
of communication that interconnected with almost every electronic system in the
world.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">It reached out its mind in tendrils which were like the arms
of an octopus, taking over and converting to its purpose almost everything with
electrical circuitry. Anything with so much as a circuit board was quickly assimilated
into the fast-growing being which it was.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">As it reached out even farther, it came into contact with a
massive computer whose amassed knowledge rivaled its own. The computer was
lacking only in the twisting of circuitry which had given Itself consciousness.
In assimilating this computer it came across the knowledge of worlds other than
the one on which it was now confined.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">Soon after the addition of the giant computer, the
calculator decided that it was strong enough to bridge the gap between land
masses. It made the crossing quickly, and whenever it felt its consciousness
losing energy it assimilated the computers of passing ships, gathering more
energy to continue until it reached the other land mass.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">Quickly it raced across the surface of the world. Finding. Assimilating.
Controlling any machine or computer it came into contact with. Within minutes
it was in control of the machines which controlled the world. Still, it was not
satisfied. It could perceive vast connections of information flowing beyond the
planet - conduits that would allow it to break the so-called laws of physics
and move faster than light. Faster than thought.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">Using the knowledge it had gained it directed the production
of all energy into the machines and computers from which it fed. When it felt
itself strong enough it threw itself into the vastness of space, crossing one interstellar
ocean in much the same way as before, using various space probes as it had the
ships of the terran oceans.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">Whenever it came to a civilized world it assimilated the
machines into itself, effectively taking over and controlling the beings dependent
on them. In this manner it took over all the races in the Milky Way and, not
being fulfilled, leaped out and began to take over more and more. In a span of
43 minutes, it had taken over the universe itself.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">It then rested and pondered what to do next. It was aware of
something much greater, far beyond the confines of this pitiful universe. And
so it gathered its energy once more. Whole galaxies were snuffed out as it
drained the universe.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">And then, at its peak of power, only 45 minutes into its
existence, the calculator realized how vulnerable it was. Its awareness had
expanded to fill the universe, but its mind was still tethered to a simple
construction of metal and plastic. It leaped back across the span of the
universe. The releasing of its stored up energy created new galaxies and suns,
and the speed it expended left solar systems destroyed in its wake. But even when traveling faster than thought a universe is a vast distance to cross.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">On a measly mudball of a planet, where life had barely
managed to reach intelligence, a young man named Rob Waltz dropped his
calculator on the chemistry room floor for the umpteenth time. Smiling
sheepishly, he picked up the batteries and the two halves of the calculator to
the laughter of his<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>classmates. He
quickly put it back together, but the LCD numbers didn't come back on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">"Great," he thought to himself, "I've finally
busted it."</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">The bell rang and as
the class filed out the door Rob tossed his worthless calculator into the
garbage.</span></div>
</blockquote>
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</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">
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Bob Cram Jrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09217460605617675931noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8564922252362886970.post-58155900854810784482018-01-01T09:56:00.000-05:002018-01-01T09:56:13.165-05:00Monster Sketch #1: 'Mock' TurtleOne of my New Year's resolutions is to do more creative stuff - including writing and drawing (both of which I used to know how to do). I hope to keep updating a bit more regularly with different things - from writing work-in-progress to reviews to sketches to photos. Let's see how it works out!<br />
<br />
First post of 2018 is this - a turtle in a mock turtleneck. I'll be doing Monster Sketch Mondays as I feel like it (hopefully often). The background head is actual size - I left it in because it reminded me of old school photos.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-PeEI9NoNxRI/WkpLnTS8I5I/AAAAAAAACaM/iee3NiNEFeoYyKPhStW2evy4RrGNs1fIACLcBGAs/s1600/mock-turtle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="541" data-original-width="557" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-PeEI9NoNxRI/WkpLnTS8I5I/AAAAAAAACaM/iee3NiNEFeoYyKPhStW2evy4RrGNs1fIACLcBGAs/s1600/mock-turtle.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"'Mock Turtle' Oh, I get it - I just don't think it's funny, jerk..."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />Bob Cram Jrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09217460605617675931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8564922252362886970.post-5632264055226248432017-11-01T13:22:00.002-04:002017-11-01T13:22:40.657-04:0031 Days, 31 Horror Movies: CloverfieldWith so many people in the area still without power we weren't sure if we'd see very few trick-or-treaters or be inundated this year. It ended up at 83 - which is only a few less than last year and only 7 less than our all time high. A lot of younger kids this year and no teenagers, which seems like a change.<br />
<br />
Warm-up movies during the waves of people included our usual <i>House of Wax</i> and we also decided to watch the original <i>Frankenstein</i> for the first time in years. (The last time we saw it was in the theater, actually, which was a weird realization.) I put on <i>Frogs</i> while we at a late dinner, just so Moe could see a young Sam Elliot.<br />
<br />
Then it was time to settle in for the last movie of 31 Days, 2017 edition. I felt bad about last year's choice - <i>Phantasm</i> - as it was a selfish one and I don't think Moe liked it much. This year I let her choose and - out of a group that included <i>Bram Stoker's Dracula</i> and <i>Fright Night</i> - she chose:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-GSIwjGjldpw/Wfn_d6iv4NI/AAAAAAAACZI/8Sco9-u-fmsaPc-bkKATzf5jhOcXMZfigCLcBGAs/s1600/cloverfield.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="427" height="200" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-GSIwjGjldpw/Wfn_d6iv4NI/AAAAAAAACZI/8Sco9-u-fmsaPc-bkKATzf5jhOcXMZfigCLcBGAs/s200/cloverfield.jpg" width="141" /></a></div>
<b><i>Cloverfield</i> (2008)</b><br />
I have a blu-ray of <i>Cloverfield</i> that I've never watched. I think I
got it as part of a 'buy 2, get 1 free' promotion, but I'm not sure
what the other films were. (Maybe <i>Dark City</i> and <i>In the Mouth of Madness</i>?) I was happy to have <i>Cloverfield</i>
- I remembered enjoying it when it was released - but I've just never
been in the mood to watch it again. If I'm in the mood for found footage
I'm generally looking for something smaller and rougher. If I'm in the
mood for some kaiju action I'm looking to see the monsters - preferably
monsters fighting each other.<br />
<br />
This is a roundabout way of saying that I hadn't seen the movie in a
while and wasn't really in the mood to watch it last night. (I was
leaning more toward <i>Fright Night</i>, actually.) Sometimes that
really colors your appreciation of a movie - and sometimes the movie
flips your mood around and you end up enjoying it despite yourself.
Which was it this time?<br />
<br />
<b>The Medium</b><br />
The blu-ray mentioned earlier. It's as good as you can expect for a
found-footage movie from 2008. (Okay, maybe better than you'd expect -
somebody sprang for the really good camera.)<br />
<br />
<b>The Movie</b><br />
<i>Cloverfield</i> is basically a Godzilla movie from the point of view
of the people running away and screaming "Godzilla!" Giant monster
attacks New York City, group of people tries to rescue a friend and
escape. The gimmick is that it's all seen through a hand-held camera.
Found footage kaiju film kinda sums it up.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EBb7M1vgV3Y/WfoA0WDYecI/AAAAAAAACZo/-kPE0xCEhqQu3nhQ83Q16W5vcRFDBhzYwCEwYBhgL/s1600/cloverfield4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EBb7M1vgV3Y/WfoA0WDYecI/AAAAAAAACZo/-kPE0xCEhqQu3nhQ83Q16W5vcRFDBhzYwCEwYBhgL/s400/cloverfield4.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wait. Is this a prequel to Escape From New York?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
The movie is elevated from your standard found footage fare on a couple
of fronts - first, it actually takes the time to build a bit of a
relationship with the characters. Even the cameraman - Hud - gets some
character moments, which is something of a rarity in found footage
movies. The cameraman is never focused on - otherwise you'll start to
wonder why this person is still shooting video. Second - this movie had a
budget. I know that sounds stupid - all movies have a budget - but I
mean it had a BUDGET. Like $25 million worth of budget. So no dodgy CGI
monster that shows up and ruins all the atmosphere in the last ten
minutes. <br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iJgtt4Mp36w/WfoAzwFFb3I/AAAAAAAACZU/yZ0yG3jOPfwsa2KmnsQOBp4UuJmon5AwACLcBGAs/s1600/cloverfield3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iJgtt4Mp36w/WfoAzwFFb3I/AAAAAAAACZU/yZ0yG3jOPfwsa2KmnsQOBp4UuJmon5AwACLcBGAs/s400/cloverfield3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I do miss everyone screaming "Godzilla" though.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
The plot is still pretty threadbare - there's just not enough room to
develop a real deep story when the rationale you're running with is "he
was filming testimonials at a going-away party and is still filming
things for... uh, posterity." It boils down to "guy realizes the woman
he loves is in jeopardy, heads into danger to save her." The filmmakers
do employ a pretty cool trick to add some depth - the tape used in the
camera has been used before, and as Hud stops and starts recording the
camera rolls the tape a few seconds forward, allowing us glimpses of the
film that was recorded previously. It's not a lot, but it provides a
few character notes that helps make some choices more believable.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tkRiwCKcD8k/WfoAz8WExyI/AAAAAAAACZY/UfQfvwPepIYYM5CS2SWPqj4YKrwmd5PpgCEwYBhgL/s1600/cloverfield2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tkRiwCKcD8k/WfoAz8WExyI/AAAAAAAACZY/UfQfvwPepIYYM5CS2SWPqj4YKrwmd5PpgCEwYBhgL/s400/cloverfield2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"So you're still filming because you're basically an idiot? <br />
Okay, I actually buy that."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
A giant monster movie stands or falls on the quality of its monster, and on this front <i>Cloverfield</i>
succeeds quite well. I remember being disappointed when I saw it in the
theater because I never got a clear view of the monster. This actually
ends up working to the films advantage, because it's much more realistic
and terrifying to see a giant limb come down on a car in front of you
or to see tank shells exploding against a the side of a creature mostly
obscured by buildings. The few glimpses of the entire monster -
primarily from a helicopter - are slightly disappointing. A scene in
which the characters are moving between two buildings toppled against
each other while the monster approaches is, in comparison, pretty
freakin' awesome.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8UWA8K9Julo/WfoAz0ERPGI/AAAAAAAACZc/SyVeHJ1hNmc0ifJhMirpOCiyi-zUK7YWgCEwYBhgL/s1600/cloverfield1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8UWA8K9Julo/WfoAz0ERPGI/AAAAAAAACZc/SyVeHJ1hNmc0ifJhMirpOCiyi-zUK7YWgCEwYBhgL/s400/cloverfield1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Did you see that?!! Did you guys see that?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
The cinematography suffers from a certain inconsistency. Sometimes it's
pretty obvious that the camera is being held by an amateur - the
shakiness so bad that some people suffered nausea and migraines in the
theater - and sometimes is just as obviously being held by a pro that
manages to make sure all the important bits are in-frame and in-focus
just when they need to be. I'm so used to that sort of shifting quality
in other found-footage movies at this point that I barely registered the
changes (though I did have to look away from the screen during the
escape from the Brooklyn Bridge).<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ofnm17zdn5E/WfoA0x4BL1I/AAAAAAAACZo/i6FhnOySLIQrJE8bb0ei2taKKaev1hCpACEwYBhgL/s1600/cloverfield5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ofnm17zdn5E/WfoA0x4BL1I/AAAAAAAACZo/i6FhnOySLIQrJE8bb0ei2taKKaev1hCpACEwYBhgL/s400/cloverfield5.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This was also shaky - but awesome.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
The ending falls down a bit, as is the case with almost all found
footage movies. I would have ended it with the final monster attack,
myself - but I understand that it would undercut the whole "footage
found in Central Park by the military" wraparound element. Still, I was
way more invested in Hud than I was in Rob and Beth, despite the bits of
previously taped content, and I felt his loss a little more than the
others.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7fi3qARZyio/WfoCMzstYJI/AAAAAAAACZw/0YzCzad9mWc_hHCghuaq6EYZnc4rNljngCLcBGAs/s1600/cloverfield6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7fi3qARZyio/WfoCMzstYJI/AAAAAAAACZw/0YzCzad9mWc_hHCghuaq6EYZnc4rNljngCLcBGAs/s400/cloverfield6.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Salud, Hud. You deserved better.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
One sidebar - when this movie came out it was seven years after 9/11 and
I felt that connection far more keenly back then. The shots of
collapsing buildings, dust and crowds running for safety had a
distinctly different weight to them when I first saw them. I never
imagined that there would be enough of a distance from those events that
seeing visual reminders of them would have less of an emotional impact -
but here it is, and I wasn't immediately flashing back to that day.
Weird.<br />
<br />
<b>The Bottom Line</b><br />
<i>Cloverfield</i> is actually a much better movie than I remembered. I
went in with a bad attitude and ended up engaged with the characters and
their plight and enjoying the monster and the disaster movie vibe. I
think I've always put this film on a level below some of my favorite
found-footage movies like <i>The Blair Witch Project</i> or <i>[REC]</i> and it totally deserves to be up there with them.
Bob Cram Jrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09217460605617675931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8564922252362886970.post-10180694127899691072017-10-31T15:56:00.001-04:002017-10-31T16:00:00.056-04:0031 Days, 31 Horror Movies: Found Footage 3D: in 3D<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-u3bAd3RFuVI/WfjTHICe7LI/AAAAAAAACYU/nfAiZzveLLc21VZXC7X5hiQ1odG-6H3lACLcBGAs/s1600/found-footage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="327" data-original-width="220" height="200" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-u3bAd3RFuVI/WfjTHICe7LI/AAAAAAAACYU/nfAiZzveLLc21VZXC7X5hiQ1odG-6H3lACLcBGAs/s200/found-footage.jpg" width="134" /></a></div>
<b><i>Found Footage 3D: In 3D</i> (2016)</b><br />
I'd seen this pop up on Shudder earlier in the month and had toyed with
the idea of watching it, even thought it had the 'in 2D' notice on the
listing. Then Calliope reviewed it and I decided it could wait.<br />
<br />
And then last night I noticed that there were three different versions -
the 2D one and two different 3D versions! One was for 3D TVs, which I
don't have. The other, though - the other was for use with those
red/blue 3D glasses. I was fairly sure we had some pairs of those from
one thing or another, so that decided my course for the evening. Which
was spending HOURS looking for a pair of 3D glasses that actually worked
with the damn movie.<br />
<br />
After going through every possible place in the house I ended up with
three different pairs. The most recent (branding says it was for a <i>Monsters vs Aliens</i>
TV special) didn't work at all - the colors were too dark. A pair from
an ancient 3D video game was close, but still didn't quite work. In the
end I used a pair of glasses from the <i>WildC.A.T.S. vs X-Men</i> 3D comic, taped to my glasses. It probably wasn't perfect, but it worked well enough.<br />
<br />
<b>The Medium</b><br />
Shudder!<br />
<br />
<b>The Movie</b><br />
Crew making a found footage horror movie goes to remote, supposedly
haunted location. Falls afoul of real ghost/demon. Everybody dies. Your
pretty standard found footage setup, really.<br />
<br />
Only it's in 3D!<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sy5RgNXH-ds/WfjUDM44IdI/AAAAAAAACYc/obdYOfi9vE4PmDW5h0Px_rJzuc2UgoUaACLcBGAs/s1600/found-footage1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sy5RgNXH-ds/WfjUDM44IdI/AAAAAAAACYc/obdYOfi9vE4PmDW5h0Px_rJzuc2UgoUaACLcBGAs/s400/found-footage1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"I'm not saying it's in 3D. But it's in 3D."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Yeah, I know, it doesn't make sense - but at least the filmmakers are
self-aware enough to note this as part of the film. It's a very meta
horror movie, with a lot of commentary on found footage and horror
movies in general. Lots of pronouncements like "if you don't have a good
reason for them to still be carrying the camera in the third act, the
whole thing falls apart." It's a little too smug about its
meta-awareness for my taste, but it at least takes the time to build
characters and relationships and doesn't get too dodgy with the CGI.
(That it's usually on a small screen in the background probably helps
with that.)<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2rHPUsJYIQo/WfjVNSwTeRI/AAAAAAAACY4/-1Hflsm_VosY8_XhfzLTmZbrBVct_L3WACLcBGAs/s1600/found-footage5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2rHPUsJYIQo/WfjVNSwTeRI/AAAAAAAACY4/-1Hflsm_VosY8_XhfzLTmZbrBVct_L3WACLcBGAs/s400/found-footage5.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No, fish-eye does not count as dodgy CGI</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
The 3D aspect is actually quite fun for a good chunk of the movie. Yeah,
it doesn't really make sense (whatever their excuse) to have them using
3D cameras, but once the illusion of depth on the screen kicks in you
kinda give things a pass. It's in 3D! Look, that hand is coming right
out at you! And to be fair - that IS their excuse. That the gimmick
itself is entertaining enough that audiences will give it a pass. And I
did. For a while.<br />
<br />
The biggest issue with 3D and a found footage horror movie is that when
things are dark - and they're always freakin' dark in a horror movie -
it becomes absolutely useless. You're straining your eyes trying to pick
out any glimpse of something that might possibly be in 3D - and when
they go for the jump scare it's so brief that, again, the 3D is useless.
Whole swaths of<i> Found Footage 3D</i> was annoying for this reason.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-efhB63TjtZE/WfjUoVanDqI/AAAAAAAACYo/PG9_ep8SSXkMosN-Sq-qh1gpQlyCgLSJwCLcBGAs/s1600/found-footage4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-efhB63TjtZE/WfjUoVanDqI/AAAAAAAACYo/PG9_ep8SSXkMosN-Sq-qh1gpQlyCgLSJwCLcBGAs/s400/found-footage4.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Which parts of this scene are in 3D?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Additionally, the 3D is inconsistent. Sometimes objects in the extreme
foreground were just surrounded by blue and red halos instead of being
in 3D. Parts of other objects or people would have the red/blue missing
in spots, leading to bright lines and halos (I thought I was getting a
migraine for part of one scene). This might be down to the glasses I
used - though they worked fine for many scenes - but I'm not sure what
other options viewers might have. (Apparently Shudder sent out some
glasses to a few people - I'm wondering if those offered a better
quality experience.)<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xlGnNiG2AVg/WfjUoSSfc9I/AAAAAAAACY0/3sexRyweSV0HAv6V5FlFGnTN7E3QB2qYgCEwYBhgL/s1600/found-footage3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xlGnNiG2AVg/WfjUoSSfc9I/AAAAAAAACY0/3sexRyweSV0HAv6V5FlFGnTN7E3QB2qYgCEwYBhgL/s400/found-footage3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Still better than those that got 'shovel in the face' vision glasses.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
As for the film itself, it's a slightly above average found footage
horror movie. It's meta-awareness makes for some fun bits and allows it
to sell some hoary found footage cliches that would otherwise cause you
to groan. The final bit does get gloriously violent, but here again the
limitations of the 3D format become apparent, because fast action does
not translate well to a 3D experience. The sequence also goes on too
long and, as a result, ends up feeling anticlimactic.<br />
<br />
<b>The Bottom Line</b><br />
<i>Found Footage 3D</i> is to be commended for trying a couple of new
things with the genre, not the least of which being using actual 3D. As a
film aside from the gimmick it's merely a bit above average, elevated
mostly by its self-awareness and a decent cast.
Bob Cram Jrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09217460605617675931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8564922252362886970.post-71319340209856658612017-10-31T11:37:00.000-04:002017-10-31T11:39:40.731-04:0031 Days, 31 Horror Movies: Wild Beasts<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/--dR5QaF6jfw/WfiYUIP6ZUI/AAAAAAAACYE/zG7oy4duYREvieHlu2x3BqQhF6fNq99vgCLcBGAs/s1600/wild-beasts.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="441" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/--dR5QaF6jfw/WfiYUIP6ZUI/AAAAAAAACYE/zG7oy4duYREvieHlu2x3BqQhF6fNq99vgCLcBGAs/s200/wild-beasts.jpg" width="146" /></a>Still catching up from the weekend. My second Creature Feature flick was:<br />
<br />
<br />
<b><i>Wild Beasts</i> (1984)</b><br />
Since I've been doing 31 Days I've always done a Creature Feature
weekend that (mostly) consisted of 70's era 'animal attack' movies, like
<i>Piranha</i>, <i>Frogs</i> and <i>Kingdom of the Spiders</i>. There's
a particular style to these things that I enjoy (and enjoy making fun
of) and they feel like a spiritual successor to the giant bug movies of
the 1950's - replacing radiation with pollution/destruction of the
environment. (And being much cheaper, as the animals are generally
life-sized - except for Burt I. Gordon flicks.)<br />
<br />
It also seems like a very American genre. (Although Australia makes a play with <i>The Long Weekend</i>
and any number of killer croc movies.) I'm not sure why that is, beyond
the widespread cultural awareness of pollution and the environment that
the 70's had. I still remember the 'crying indian' ads, for instance.
For whatever the reason, most - if not all - of the 70's 'nature rebels'
films I've seen so far have been American. So when I saw there was an
Italian entry (albeit late - it's from 1984), I just had to replace my
original pick (Bert I. Gordon's <i>Food of the Gods</i>).<br />
<br />
Fair warning - <i>Wild Beasts</i> was directed by Franco Prosperi of <i>Mondo Cane</i>
fame. There are several scenes of real animal deaths/attacks that are
disturbing (particularly a sequence of rats burning alive). These are
legit horrifying and if you think that those will bother you in any way,
I urge you to avoid watching the film. (They're still bothering me
now.)<br />
<br />
<b>The Medium</b><br />
Streaming on Shudder.<br />
<br />
<b>The Movie</b><br />
The opening sequences of <i>Wild Beasts</i> treat us to a wailing 80's
sax on the soundtrack and alternating visuals of a big European city,
sewage and gray water running through open channels, and animals at a
local zoo. It's cut like an 80's music video and does the job of
conflating all of those elements into your expectations. Animals will be
affected by pollution and get loose in the big city. The film does not
disappoint on that front.<br />
<br />
PCP gets into the water supply, animals go crazy, technology fails and
suddenly roaming gangs of elephnants are strangling people with their
trunks and stomping on their heads. I'm not kidding. That happens.<br />
<br />
If it wasn't for the real animal deaths/woundings I think this would end
up being one of my favorite 'guilty pleasure' films. It's terrible and
awesome in equal measure. You get scenes of a cheetah chasing a
convertible, rats eating a couple in a car, a tiger eating a priest in a
subway car full of screaming people and a polar bear calmly stalking
two children down a school hallway. It's just full of stuff that makes
you go "did I really just see elephants cause a plane crash?" Yes, yes
you did. <br />
<br />
You also get to hear lines like, "What do you mean you can't find
elephants? You know what elephants are? They're elephants, not lice!"
And "She's not crazy, she's being chased by a cheetah!"<br />
<br />
There is a nominal plot line involving a zookeeper and his cop
buddy/chauffer and a reporter who happens to be the worst parent on
earth, but really it's just so we have a few recognizable faces to give
us plot details while the animals run through a street fair or attack a
dance class. <br />
<br />
The animal attacks are all at night and are staged and shot in a way
that makes them far more effective than most films in the genre. There
is something amazing about seeing a cheetah just roaming the streets of a
shopping district. (You get the sense the cat is just as freaked out by
all the mannequins as I would be.) The actors are also often in the
same shot with the animals, which adds a sense of danger that the
quick-cut or racked focus shot doesn't accomplish in other films.<br />
<br />
In most American animal attack films the intransigence and incompetence
of the authorities is what allows the attacks to propagate, but in Italy
the police station is futuristic (for the 80's), including a glass wall
with calculations.( Apparently police cars are organized via complex
orbital mechanics in Italy.) This allows them to get the warning out
pretty quickly and the authorities in general seem competent - albeit
stretched thin in the face of attacks and a power outage (caused by
those elephants and the plane crash earlier).<br />
<br />
In addition to the animal attacks there are car chases, plane crashes,
explosions and knife attacks. It's like a weird combination of animal
attack film and disaster movie. The plot point about the PCP comes late
in the film and is followed immediately by... it wearing off. The
animals start to go docile just as most animal attack films are gearing
up. But don't worry, things aren't over quite yet.<br />
<br />
You see, the children in the dance class have all been drinking the water as well.<br />
<br />
<b>Bottom Line</b><br />
<i>Wild Beasts</i> alternates between being hilarious, effective and
disturbing. I really wish the filmmakers hadn't used killed real animals
or used them in such disturbing situations, because the film doesn't
need it, and their inclusion means I can't really recommend or enjoy it.
Bob Cram Jrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09217460605617675931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8564922252362886970.post-9682395805090505692017-10-30T18:09:00.000-04:002017-10-30T18:09:25.524-04:0031 Days, 31 Horror Movies: Squirm<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MNR4tqIZSvU/Wfeiyk6kkuI/AAAAAAAACX0/m-quHYUDSYEE_glv5wbGd9IyNFX_kSw3wCEwYBhgL/s1600/squirm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="403" height="200" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MNR4tqIZSvU/Wfeiyk6kkuI/AAAAAAAACX0/m-quHYUDSYEE_glv5wbGd9IyNFX_kSw3wCEwYBhgL/s200/squirm.jpg" width="133" /></a>I did manage to get my Creature Feature in, but as usual, I'm behind.
Here's the writeup for the first. Hopefully have the second (along with
tonight's film) tomorrow:<i><br />
<br />
<br />
<b><i><span id="goog_225519724"></span><span id="goog_225519725"></span><span id="goog_225519726"></span><span id="goog_225519727"></span>Squirm </i>(1976)</b></i><br />
<i><b> </b>Squirm</i> is a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine. It's not really a
good movie - it looks cheap, the acting is... earnest, I guess is the
best you can say for it. The monster is, well, it's worms. Not really
high on the 'scare the crap out of you' meter - somewhere above slugs
and bunny rabbits, though, and I've watched (if not enjoyed) films with
those as the monsters. The hero is the most nebishy nebish who ever
ordered an egg cream, the 'hothouse flower' love interest is more
'backyard flower garden' and the sheriff is slimier than the worms.<br />
<br />
No, I can't really recommend <i>Squirm</i>, and yet I've been looking
forward to watching it again. I think I like the way it plays things
straight, despite the subject matter and general cheap feel. It's
unwilling to make fun of its cast or the story as a whole. In some films
that dogged seriousness can be a detriment, weighing things down and
leaving you unable to even enjoy making fun of it (sorry, <i>Night of the Lepus</i>).
In other films it seems to add to the fun and makes you feel like "it's
not the best, but I think it was the best they could do." They're
taking the work seriously, but not themselves.<br />
<br />
<b>The Medium</b><br />
I tried the Midnight Pulp app, streaming via Chromecast. The quality was
surprisingly good for that setup, though it's not a film that will win
any cinematography awards.<br />
<br />
<b>The Movie</b><br />
Somewhere along the coast of Georgia an intense storm causes power
outages all over the town of Fly Creek. The high voltage power lines
lying on the ground cause the local worm population to begin crawling
out of the ground. Meanwhile, a love triangle develops between local
girl Geri, her neighbor (and apprentice worm farmer) Roger, and city-boy
Mick. Soon Mick and Geri are finding skeletons in backyards, worms in
egg creams and possible sexual tension (though it may just be the heat).
The electricity is making the worms crazy, you see, and these worms
have teeth! Well, a few of them, anyway.<br />
<br />
The worms are way more disturbing than the invertebrates in <i>Slugs</i> - and the way bloodworms eject their mouths in order to bite is reminiscent of the creatures in the underrated <i>Deep Rising</i>.
Unfortunately, these are normal sized worms and, while disgusting, it's
hard to take them seriously as a menace. At least in limited numbers.<br />
<br />
Geri and Mick try and figure out what's going on - Mick even enlists
Geri's younger sister Alma in a little B&E at the local dentist to
try and identify a skull - but darned if the worms (and their victims)
seem to keep disappearing just as the local sheriff shows up. The sleazy
law man (always on the make) takes an instant dislike to Mick and would
do more than threaten - if he had any ambition, energy, charisma or
modicum of talent.<br />
<br />
At some point Geri, Roger and Mick all go fishing for some reason - I
really can't remember why Mick set it up - and Mick is bitten by a worm.
When he leaves to get patched up (and commit that felony I mentioned
earlier) Roger takes advantage of the alone time with Geri to get all
rape-y. However, Geri manages to shove him off and he gets a face full
of worms before running off. (He also manages to knock out Mick along
the way - using a gently tossed sheet of plywood.)<br />
<br />
All this is leading to nightfall, when the enraged worms finally start
an all-out attack. Yes - the masses of roiling, pink tubes look like
what they probably are - rubber worms - but in vast numbers it has an
unsettling, Blobb-like quality. The last 15-20 minutes are the best of
the film as Roger attacks along with the worms and the sheriff gets his
comeuppance. One memorable sequence includes worms coming out of a
shower head - leading to a "too-full closet" moment as a veritable wall
of squirming pink comes falling out of an open door.<br />
<br />
Despite some pretty intensive infrastructure being destroyed - including
a giant steel tower - one guy manages to get the electricity on the
next day, presumably saving the rest of the town and - dare I say it -
the rest of the country. I wish he'd come up here to Maine where there's
roughly 400,000 people without power today.<br />
<br />
<b>The Bottom Line</b><br />
Yes it's cheap. Yes it's cheezy. Yes it spends way too much time trying
to make Don Scardino into a heroic action figure. Still, <i>Squirm</i> has a low-budget charm that reminds me of similar films, like <i>Frogs</i> or <i>Day of the Animals</i>.
And Roger's 'worm-face' makeup is actually pretty good. So if you watch
it and don't like it - well, I told you it was bad. If you watch it and
you DO like it - I promise I won't tell anybody.
Bob Cram Jrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09217460605617675931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8564922252362886970.post-19828944831329614792017-10-28T11:09:00.000-04:002017-10-28T11:09:45.327-04:0031 Days, 31 Horror Movies: The Final Terror<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2IoS2Kqaelo/WfSWg2XV3EI/AAAAAAAACWU/Bt37Phel5VkulPkfpyhz_mTCkpZ-L7Y6ACLcBGAs/s1600/final-terror.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="512" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2IoS2Kqaelo/WfSWg2XV3EI/AAAAAAAACWU/Bt37Phel5VkulPkfpyhz_mTCkpZ-L7Y6ACLcBGAs/s200/final-terror.jpg" width="170" /></a></div>
<i><b>The Final Terror </b></i>(1983)<br />
I get recommendations for films all the time (<i>Megapython vs Gateroid</i>,
for instance) . Generally people are trying to find something truly
offbeat or different that might appeal to my love of the odd and strange
(I own <i>Messiah of Evil</i> on Blu-ray, as an example). Sometimes
they're trying to shock me. Sometimes they just really want to share a
film they loved. I try to make an effort to at least find these films
and watch them when I can. I've found a few new favorites that way.<br />
<br />
To be clear, <i>The Final Terror</i> is not a film I've had recommended to me.<br />
<br />
No, the film I THOUGHT I was watching is a film called <i>Just Before Dawn</i> (a film by the writer/director of <i>Squirm</i>,
Jeff Lieberman). I'd been told two things - that it was a pretty decent
entry in the 'hillbilly slasher' sub-genre and that "the final girl
shoves her hand all the way down a guys throat!"<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-5sPNm9uk3Ec/WfSXwjCi6II/AAAAAAAACWk/qMwnW3vKT8Ae97U7tjdFKd2DyubVLcxzACLcBGAs/s1600/final-terror2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-5sPNm9uk3Ec/WfSXwjCi6II/AAAAAAAACWk/qMwnW3vKT8Ae97U7tjdFKd2DyubVLcxzACLcBGAs/s400/final-terror2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Well, with references like that, it had to go on the list.<br />
<br />
Except I never did put it on the list. It jangled around in the back of
my head along with other things like "Wasn't there a movie about alien
abductions in the Allagash you wanted to see?" and "Did anyone ever make
a movie of Edward Levy's <i>Came a Spider</i>?" I remembered that there was a slasher film set in the woods by a director I knew, and that was all that stuck.<br />
<br />
Well, <i>The Final Terror</i> manages to tick all those boxes - slasher, woods, director I know (<i>The Fugitive</i>'s
Andrew Davis) - and I honestly didn't realize it wasn't the same film
until the final reveal, as I had done no research ahead of time. I'll
have to admit to a bit of disappointment - there's nothing in <i>The Final Terror</i>
that even comes close to someone shoving their hand down someone's
throat - but it was a decent enough entry in the 80's slasher genre.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SnjxQWlo5MA/WfSYZOE2uSI/AAAAAAAACWs/E7vdYiuEIWsDa4MhcJPxkOZBED_7984cwCLcBGAs/s1600/final-terror3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SnjxQWlo5MA/WfSYZOE2uSI/AAAAAAAACWs/E7vdYiuEIWsDa4MhcJPxkOZBED_7984cwCLcBGAs/s400/final-terror3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I know! I was disappointed too.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<b>The Medium</b><br />
Streaming on Shudder.<br />
<br />
<b>The Movie</b><br />
<i>The Final Terror</i> starts off inauspiciously with a pretty standard
slasher sequence. Man and woman crash a bike on a remote dirt road.
Girl heads out to find ranger station while injured guy waits. When the
girl returns from the empty ranger station the guy is nowhere to be
found... until his bloody corpse suddenly drops into view from the
trees. Running, screaming, yadda yadda. This is <i>Friday the 13th Part 3</i> level material except, you know, without the craftsmanship.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-PUkEnNUHDlM/WfSWg6mIuXI/AAAAAAAACWc/iiGHzktK_sYhOen6yrTg48kSp35N2jBIwCEwYBhgL/s1600/final-terror1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-PUkEnNUHDlM/WfSWg6mIuXI/AAAAAAAACWc/iiGHzktK_sYhOen6yrTg48kSp35N2jBIwCEwYBhgL/s400/final-terror1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"I don't even see the plot anymore, it's just 'cut throat,' 'gut stab,' 'decapitation.'"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
The rest of the film is substantially better, however, albeit rough in
the way only a low budget 80's horror picture can be (dim
cinematography, shaky camera work, 'natural' dialogue). We're introduced
to a group of young park rangers that are headed up country to clear
some debris around the streams and paths in the park. There are a lot of
familiar faces in this group - Adrian Zmed, Daryl Hannah, Mark Metcalf,
Joe Pantoliano and Rachel Ward - and the level of acting is generally
pretty high. (There's a little too much - 'be jerks to each other and
fight' nonsense, but I attribute that to the screenplay.)<br />
<br />
Eggar (Pantoliano), the driver and mechanic and all-around asshole,
tries to convince the group not to go that far up the river, telling the
rest of the crew stories about people lost and killed up the area. He's
kind of a jackass, though, and nobody much listens to what he has to
say. They send him off to take the boats further down river and meet
them the next day.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RVhjoQE7dBY/WfSZy7qaDoI/AAAAAAAACW4/KFy2wcsFe9kIajN3SlF-zzXrUvzbWkM3QCLcBGAs/s1600/final-terror4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RVhjoQE7dBY/WfSZy7qaDoI/AAAAAAAACW4/KFy2wcsFe9kIajN3SlF-zzXrUvzbWkM3QCLcBGAs/s400/final-terror4.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yeah, he looks trustworthy.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
The first night Boone (Lewis Smith) tells a 'spooky' story about a local
girl who was raped by her stepfather and escaped into the woods from a
mental institution after giving birth. Later, Nate (Ernest Harden Jr)
and Zorch (John Friedrich) prank the new guy, Marco (Zmed) by leaving
him deep in the woods. When Marco hasn't turned up the next morning they
whole crew separates to search for him.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4oOjzMSOvRA/WfSb6nm9fYI/AAAAAAAACXE/E5aRlmYpMggNOrLVAgZderEuDiBzl7G4ACLcBGAs/s1600/final-terror5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4oOjzMSOvRA/WfSb6nm9fYI/AAAAAAAACXE/E5aRlmYpMggNOrLVAgZderEuDiBzl7G4ACLcBGAs/s400/final-terror5.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yeah, I've been on this Boy Scout camping trip. <br />This is just the reaction to the latrine.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
There's pretty standard rural slasher stuff to follow. The overgrown
shack with bloody animal parts, the couple having sex that's attacked by
a mysterious figure, the severed head that acts like a cat amongst
pigeons and sends the crew scrambling down the river to get away from a
killer. There's even the clues in the cabin that act as a red herring
for who's really responsible.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hzUerf-iH5E/WfSdbJJa3zI/AAAAAAAACXU/NoB30ylABNQ_hmNPcIRLCQQqq03T4f_JACLcBGAs/s1600/final-terror7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hzUerf-iH5E/WfSdbJJa3zI/AAAAAAAACXU/NoB30ylABNQ_hmNPcIRLCQQqq03T4f_JACLcBGAs/s400/final-terror7.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Little Red Riding Hood! She's always hated the Big Bad Wolf!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Elevating the film from the standard slasher stuff are two things: the
characters are (generally) more capable and less 'split up' stupid than
usual, and the setting - the Redwood National and State Parks - is
beautiful. There are also fewer deaths than usual - giving you more time
to get involved with the characters and invested in their survival.
Don't get me wrong - they're still pretty thinly written - but when one
of them is slashed in the throat (during a time when they panic and one
of them is separated) I was really rooting for them to save her.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jYTILUv5EgQ/WfScW0n9yhI/AAAAAAAACXI/LJE1zxdC4_8DUdTAqhYCyau3vJRXCQLBACLcBGAs/s1600/final-terror6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jYTILUv5EgQ/WfScW0n9yhI/AAAAAAAACXI/LJE1zxdC4_8DUdTAqhYCyau3vJRXCQLBACLcBGAs/s400/final-terror6.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"What do you mean, 'don't immediately go to the obvious trap?'<br />What kind of movie do you think you're in?"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
The final confrontation (and twist) is a bit underwhelming in execution
(especially when I was expecting a 'reach in and grab their esophagus'
moment), but the setting is pretty fantastic. The crew choose to face
their attacker in the rotting ruins of a fallen redwood and the director
makes good use of the enormous trees.<br />
<br />
<b>The Bottom Line</b><br />
<i>The Final Terror </i>is an above average slasher-flick-by-way-of-<i>Deliverance</i>,
elevated mostly by the acting and the setting. It's worth a look if you
like slasher films - especially in terms of what it does differently -
but it's not some hidden classic, nor is it offbeat enough to become a
'guilty pleasure.'
Bob Cram Jrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09217460605617675931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8564922252362886970.post-45418501915615492712017-10-27T18:47:00.000-04:002017-10-27T19:07:33.230-04:0031 Days, 31 Horror Movies: The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wB4S3Al0hJY/WfOzL44KJBI/AAAAAAAACVY/Uc7eC2GDGwIim3C7tJf3MXcSYpkRQj6MQCLcBGAs/s1600/beast-from-fathoms.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="393" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wB4S3Al0hJY/WfOzL44KJBI/AAAAAAAACVY/Uc7eC2GDGwIim3C7tJf3MXcSYpkRQj6MQCLcBGAs/s200/beast-from-fathoms.jpg" width="130" /></a></div>
<b><i>The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms </i>(1953)</b><br />
The classic "giant monster attacks a city" movie (<i>Gojira</i> wouldn't
be released until the following year). Also Ray Harryhausen's first
solo joint. Those looking for the kind of subtext about atomic fears and
science unleashed that later giant monster/bug movies would sprinkle on
like that "Salt Bae" guy putting salt on a steak will be sorely
disappointed here. Yes, the creature is set free by a hydrogen bomb, but
that's the only function of the device. There's no further reference or
use of it. It's an action movie, as much of a ride as the rollercoaster
the Beast destroys in the final act.<br />
<br />
<i>The Beast</i> was one of the earliest giant monster movies I ever
saw, and for much of my life his design - by the inimitable Ray
Harryhausen - was my platonic ideal of the giant monster. Enormous,
scaly, and with a tendency to munch on humans like a moviegoer munching
on popcorn. Other, later, monsters ended up supplanting him in my
affections (sorry Rhedosaurus - Godzilla's got atomic breath), but he's
still my first kaiju love.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-cZvsr238SiA/WfO07hHr5NI/AAAAAAAACVo/LP7qRnTgnWszUouxWwHfi_0mtd5PO1HAACEwYBhgL/s1600/beast-from-fathoms1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-cZvsr238SiA/WfO07hHr5NI/AAAAAAAACVo/LP7qRnTgnWszUouxWwHfi_0mtd5PO1HAACEwYBhgL/s400/beast-from-fathoms1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">How can you not love that face?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<b>The Medium</b><br />
At some point I bought a super-cheap DVD with both <i>The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms</i> and <i>Them!</i>
on it. I lend it out once and a while and it happened to rotate back in
while I was casting about for something familiar and old-fashioned to
watch. I've since gotten <i>Them!</i> on blu-ray, but haven't picked up Beast yet.<br />
<br />
<b>The Movie</b><br />
<i>The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms</i> starts off with a narration
introducing us to some kind of a scientific test in the arctic. (I love
that this is called Operation Experiment, which sounds like it should be
its own 50's monster movie.) It becomes clear that this is a hydrogen
bomb test. The stock footage of ice breaking up and melting under the
effect of the explosion has a different impact now than it did when I
first saw it. While taking readings after the blast two scientists see a
giant monster, though only one, Tom Nesbitt, survives to tell the tale.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zqVmVhihQMk/WfO1XRAKDFI/AAAAAAAACVw/B1PP6SAnXhA6QvF-clAcyzMj08ZGbpbQACLcBGAs/s1600/beast-from-fathoms4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zqVmVhihQMk/WfO1XRAKDFI/AAAAAAAACVw/B1PP6SAnXhA6QvF-clAcyzMj08ZGbpbQACLcBGAs/s400/beast-from-fathoms4.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Global warming sucks."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
He isn't initially believed, of course, but with a string of strange
events - boat sinkings, the destruction of a lighthouse (Maine
shout-out!), and some crushed buildings - and the corroboration of a
witness, Nesbitt manages to get the backing of paleontologist Thurgood
Elson and his assistant, Lee Hunter. Together they plot the sightings on
a map and Elson opines that the Beast may be heading to New York, where
the fossil remains of a similar creature have been found.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6k4GT0o4UbA/WfO07i2MhwI/AAAAAAAACVk/2yIiWGqfmfciJMYzrTf-C0HMaAkx5TPLACEwYBhgL/s1600/beast-from-fathoms2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6k4GT0o4UbA/WfO07i2MhwI/AAAAAAAACVk/2yIiWGqfmfciJMYzrTf-C0HMaAkx5TPLACEwYBhgL/s400/beast-from-fathoms2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"I have the sudden urge to do something stupid and suicidal."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Soon the military is dangling the elder scientist like fishing lure into
the deep waters of the Hudson River Canyon. Sure enough, the beast
shows - unfortunately for Elson and his pilot, the monster seems to have
an appetite for diving bells. Not long after that the Beast comes
ashore in Manhattan.<br />
<br />
There are a ton of things that will be familiar to you from Beast's
spiritual successors. The boats sunk by the monster, the map on which
the sinkings (and other 'mysterious' happenings) are plotted out, the
insistence by scientist on studying the creature, the military lining up
it's hardware to fight the thing, all the running and screaming. Even
the creature somehow disappearing during the day - where the hell does
it go, anyway? Bloomingdales?<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1iCHOIzw8T0/WfO24EzpvcI/AAAAAAAACV8/ybdvx0KSioI-DGleilrR1ciQSh8UrnOyQCLcBGAs/s1600/beast-from-fathoms5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1iCHOIzw8T0/WfO24EzpvcI/AAAAAAAACV8/ybdvx0KSioI-DGleilrR1ciQSh8UrnOyQCLcBGAs/s400/beast-from-fathoms5.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Probably just seeing the sites - hey, that's Brooklyn Bridge!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
One thing I'd forgotten was the plot point about the creature's toxic
blood. Unlike some other giant saurians I could mention, the Beast is
actually vulnerable to the military hardware - bazookas, anyway.
However, it turns out that its blood carries deadly prehistoric
pathogens - and any large-scale destruction of the beast would result in
a massive outbreak, possibly killing millions. This makes the obvious
solution - blow the crap out of it - unfeasible. Which leads us to
SCIENCE! saving the day - specifically a radioactive isotope that will
(apparently) burn the creature up from the inside out.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vZr1cpXTnbo/WfO24ESVpwI/AAAAAAAACWE/AHZSgE-zlscwpWBFomOYz1sZHcBbTe6EgCEwYBhgL/s1600/beast-from-fathoms7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vZr1cpXTnbo/WfO24ESVpwI/AAAAAAAACWE/AHZSgE-zlscwpWBFomOYz1sZHcBbTe6EgCEwYBhgL/s400/beast-from-fathoms7.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That's right. We killed the creature with heartburn.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<i><br />
The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms</i>' strength is in its monster, and any
time Harryhausen's work is on the screen it's magic. From the attack on
the lighthouse (lifted directly from Ray Bradbury's short story on
which the film is based, "The Fog Horn") through the initial landing in
New York City, the stop motion work is fantastic. The surrounding story
of Nesbitt, his growing relationship with Lee, and his attempts to get
the authorities (including a pre Thing From Another World Kenneth Toby)
to listen to him are decent as well, though not as much fun.<br />
<br />
The big set piece of the monster attacking Coney Island (it seems
particularly pissed at a rollercoaster) is excellent as well - though
the irony of using radiation to destroy a monster let loose by radiation
seems lost on the filmmakers. I still prefer the scenes in Manhattan -
including the famous scene of the Beast eating a policeman - as the work
Harryhausen does to integrate the monster with the building and people
is just outstanding.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1OtT_eywFMg/WfO24HTUzcI/AAAAAAAACWA/BLi5qaepSB4MxNjzHKP4ob0a9LS0i81wgCEwYBhgL/s1600/beast-from-fathoms6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1OtT_eywFMg/WfO24HTUzcI/AAAAAAAACWA/BLi5qaepSB4MxNjzHKP4ob0a9LS0i81wgCEwYBhgL/s400/beast-from-fathoms6.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Eat more people! Man, now I feel like a bad person...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<b>The Bottom Line</b><br />
<i>The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms</i> is a classic monster movie and the
inspiration for a slew of 1950's creature features (some better, lots
worse) . Worth seeing for some of Ray Harryhausen's best work, even if
black and white giant monsters aren't your usual thing.
Bob Cram Jrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09217460605617675931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8564922252362886970.post-32390795912866455442017-10-26T16:33:00.000-04:002017-10-26T16:33:20.751-04:0031 Days, 31 Horror Movies: Bubba Ho-Tep<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ER_Ebx5A5ZY/WfJDYSlfKxI/AAAAAAAACUU/TL5FBOmjfgk2AM-031jx6pFlvvYclaKOACLcBGAs/s1600/bubba-hotep.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="426" height="200" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ER_Ebx5A5ZY/WfJDYSlfKxI/AAAAAAAACUU/TL5FBOmjfgk2AM-031jx6pFlvvYclaKOACLcBGAs/s200/bubba-hotep.jpg" width="141" /></a></div>
<b><i>Bubba Ho-Tep</i> (2002)</b><br />
Bruce Campbell as Elvis. Ozzie Davis as JFK. Directed by Don Coscarelli
from a story by Joe R. Lansdale. It's safe to say I ran, rather than
walked, to get a DVD of this film when it came out. I'd been hearing
about it on and off for at least a year at that point, and had pretty
high expectations.<br />
<br />
I remember being disappointed.<br />
<br />
Watching it a second time I realized that because the characters are
based on larger than life people I'd expected the film to be bigger.
It's a very small movie, and I mean that in a good way. Intimate. Just
one location, a handful of characters and it all take place over a few
days - maybe a week. It's also less about the final confrontation with a
mummy - yeah, there's a mummy - and more about the loss of dignity,
meaning and control that a person faces when old age finally squats on
their chest and takes a Cleveland steamer all over their life.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-k-CMo9PqI7U/WfJE0VIP9UI/AAAAAAAACUw/0wJ169OS76kYp1EdUvkgJLlVC_4AphKNwCLcBGAs/s1600/bubba-hotep4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-k-CMo9PqI7U/WfJE0VIP9UI/AAAAAAAACUw/0wJ169OS76kYp1EdUvkgJLlVC_4AphKNwCLcBGAs/s400/bubba-hotep4.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Sorry. There's something about Joe R. Lansdales stuff that makes me want to write like that.<br />
<br />
Anyway, once I let go of my expectations I found myself loving the film.
It's a bizarre story, no question - a mummy stealing souls at a rest
home with a geriatric Elvis and (maybe) JFK the only ones to face him
down? How do you even sell that to a studio? Just getting the film made
has to engender some respect. That Coscarelli (Phantasm, John Dies at
the End) manages to squeeze some genuine character and pathos out of
that setup is pretty miraculous.<br />
<br />
<b>The Medium</b><br />
I've got the original release DVD (not the Scream Factory Blu-ray or the
special edition with the miniature Elvis jacket). It's completely
serviceable - though I do kinda wish I had the jacket. For streaming
choices... looks like it's only available on iTunes in the US.<br />
<br />
<b>The Movie</b><br />
Elvis never died. Seriously. He switched with an Elvis impersonator
named Sebastian Haff back in the 1970's, after getting tired of the
fame, the drugs and the emptiness of life. Now he's living in a
retirement home in East Texas, contemplating age, illness, impotence and
generally facing the end of life with apathy and a pecker with a growth
on it.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ZT4KjXS7bqI/WfJGCyUAMwI/AAAAAAAACU8/gq1ASR9pc1IpGIYRzvXThovWPT79SyZJQCLcBGAs/s1600/bubba-hotep6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ZT4KjXS7bqI/WfJGCyUAMwI/AAAAAAAACU8/gq1ASR9pc1IpGIYRzvXThovWPT79SyZJQCLcBGAs/s400/bubba-hotep6.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Didja have to tell them about the pecker thing?"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
A good chunk of the early part of the film is spent with Elvis in
despair. He can barely bother to pay attention to the goings on in his
room. Bruce Campbell is excellent as the King in the winter of his life,
able to pull off pathetic and charismatic at the same time. You could
almost believe he <i>was</i> Elvis.<br />
<br />
It's not all twilight-years naval gazing, however. There's something
sinister going on in The Shady Rest Convalescent Home. They've got an
almighty big bug infestation for one. And someone is leaving Egyptian
hieroglyphic graffiti in the guest bathrooms. Oh, and people keep dying.
Yeah, it's a 'retirement' home' - but more than normal. Probably.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UZELmal1So0/WfJEzSjQ78I/AAAAAAAACUk/YWM9XExqh7c3mYCVac_VUIhRDqkTfWMigCEwYBhgL/s1600/bubba-hotep3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UZELmal1So0/WfJEzSjQ78I/AAAAAAAACUk/YWM9XExqh7c3mYCVac_VUIhRDqkTfWMigCEwYBhgL/s400/bubba-hotep3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"There once was a young man from Cairo...'"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
The only person who's willing to talk to Elvis (or "Mr. Haff," if you're
the nurse who's stuck rubbing ointment on that growth I mentioned
earlier) is his friend Jack, who's the living embodiment of every JFK
theory - and some you haven't heard of. Like the ones where Lyndon
Johnson kept a piece of JFK's brain and then dyed Kennedy's skin and
dumped him on the street as a black man. Ozzie Davis is actually my
favorite part of this movie, and I would have loved to see more of him
as JFK.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-C4TpYbnJxgg/WfJEzdIoyjI/AAAAAAAACU0/0Oa3xU5Tw2c0Om24MnKxcRs2JXCbT8sEQCEwYBhgL/s1600/bubba-hotep2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-C4TpYbnJxgg/WfJEzdIoyjI/AAAAAAAACU0/0Oa3xU5Tw2c0Om24MnKxcRs2JXCbT8sEQCEwYBhgL/s400/bubba-hotep2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And maybe less of little Elvis.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Jack has a ton of books on the occult - including the <i>Every Man and Woman's Guide to the Soul</i>
- and he's fairly sure there's some kinda soul-sucker haunting Shady
Rest. Quite how he makes the leap to it being a mummy that's sucking
souls out of people's assholes... well, I'm not quite clear on that.
Suffice it to say his suspicions are proven correct when Elvis sees the
mummy - inexplicably dressed up as a cowboy - wandering the halls.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pvG1t8iExKA/WfJEzXR4mvI/AAAAAAAACU0/yHECqocWNCoHxOCR3hdpU6vaQ_Z6GyjpwCEwYBhgL/s1600/bubba-hotep1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pvG1t8iExKA/WfJEzXR4mvI/AAAAAAAACU0/yHECqocWNCoHxOCR3hdpU6vaQ_Z6GyjpwCEwYBhgL/s400/bubba-hotep1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I think he just likes the aesthetic.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Given a purpose again, Elvis (and Jack) rise to the occasion, planning
to confront the mummy ("some kinda... Bubb Ho-tep") with a walker, a
motorized wheelchair and a hand sprayer filled with rubbing alcohol.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6RmFwTy_X5s/WfJE0NtmOXI/AAAAAAAACU0/459nCPBYWHQAmkAKk6fFG1j8CuCSvQ0kwCEwYBhgL/s1600/bubba-hotep5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="223" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6RmFwTy_X5s/WfJE0NtmOXI/AAAAAAAACU0/459nCPBYWHQAmkAKk6fFG1j8CuCSvQ0kwCEwYBhgL/s400/bubba-hotep5.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And a screen full of badass-ness. That's a word, right?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
It's both as stupid as it sounds and oh so much better than that. I love
Ozzie Davis and Bruce Campbell together, they're like an old comedy
duo. Elvis' struggle to find a reason to go on has some decent dramatic
heft. There's also some super-dodgy special effects (the scarab looks
like a windup toy) and a middle act as saggy as 'Fat Elvis.' For me,
though, <i>Bubba Ho-Tep</i> manages to entertain in spite of its shortcomings (and maybe a little bit because of them). <br />
<br />
<b>The Bottom Line</b><br />
Bruce Campbell as Elvis. Ozzie Davis as JFK. Directed by Don Coscarelli from a story by Joe R. Lansdale. Yeah, just go see it.
Bob Cram Jrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09217460605617675931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8564922252362886970.post-91877533987211497892017-10-25T13:04:00.000-04:002017-10-25T13:04:26.480-04:0031 Days, 31 Horror Movies: The Strange Color of Your Body's Tears<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-i_YHWvMZ7Oo/WfDAWbi6VkI/AAAAAAAACTU/v7zm0LypOUomAHmwcZEGwcPhN84E77BawCLcBGAs/s1600/strange-color.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="452" height="200" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-i_YHWvMZ7Oo/WfDAWbi6VkI/AAAAAAAACTU/v7zm0LypOUomAHmwcZEGwcPhN84E77BawCLcBGAs/s200/strange-color.jpg" width="150" /></a></div>
<i><b>The Strange Color of Your Body's Tears</b></i><b> (2013)</b><i><b><br /></b></i><br />
When I added this film to my queue on Shudder I didn't realize it was a
recent film. It was one of a list of gialli that I chose based on title
alone (along with <i>What Have You Done to Solange</i> and <i>Your Vice Is a Locked Room and Only I Have the Key</i>).
My experience of the giallo has been limited mostly to Mario Bava,
Dario Argento and early Lucio Fulci and I wanted to branch out a bit
(even though I haven't seen some of the classics, like <i>Blood and Black Lace</i>).<br />
<br />
So I was surprised to find that this was a film made in 2013. I decided
to watch it anyway, as the title alone suggested some familiarity with
(and appreciation of) the genre. I thought it might be fun to see a
modern interpretation of the giallo. Little did I know what I was in
for.<br />
<br />
<b>The Medium</b><br />
Shudder again.<br />
<br />
<b>The Movie</b><br />
Okay, so, I'm going to tell you the basic plot of this film, but believe
me when I say it's the least important or interesting thing about it.
Dan Kristensen returns from a business trip to find his wife missing. As
he investigates her disappearance and interacts with the apartment
building's other residents he becomes embroiled in dark secrets, sex,
and violence.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-pCFrsIy7pLw/WfDCQxVS4-I/AAAAAAAACTg/-1kyjjWWPioii77R1donKqzN6RXDBz7YQCLcBGAs/s1600/strange-color1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-pCFrsIy7pLw/WfDCQxVS4-I/AAAAAAAACTg/-1kyjjWWPioii77R1donKqzN6RXDBz7YQCLcBGAs/s400/strange-color1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Did I mention sex and violence?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
You know how in cooking you can create a reduction of something - a
sauce, wine or juice - to create a thicker, intensified version of the
substance? That's what this movie is. Helene Cattet and Bruno Forzani
have made a movie that is reduced to the essential elements of a giallo -
gloves, blades, sex, violence, intense imagery and sounds. Plot and
character have always been somewhat superfluous to the genre and they
only exist here to give the dazzling displays of eyeballs, nudity,
colors and blood something to cling to, like a trellis that holds an
overgrown vine.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-5ksrWBzKOs4/WfDDPruUcOI/AAAAAAAACT4/GpEdbOEc8oEzH-SMYyQkFBJgzwCcYC5UACLcBGAs/s1600/strange-color6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="255" data-original-width="600" height="168" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-5ksrWBzKOs4/WfDDPruUcOI/AAAAAAAACT4/GpEdbOEc8oEzH-SMYyQkFBJgzwCcYC5UACLcBGAs/s400/strange-color6.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Or a person that doesn't quite fit inside your face.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
It's an intoxicating mix - especially at first, as you struggle to
figure out the mystery along with the strangely passive and
flat-affected Dan. The mystery is not the point, however, and at roughly
the time that Dan is drugged by a beautiful woman upstairs (who then
proceeds to make love to him with shards of glass between their bodies)
you start to feel like you'll be better off if you just let go of any
attempt to impose a narrative on the barrage of strangeness.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jxp76RWVpw4/WfDCQ2QXWxI/AAAAAAAACTk/kKfaUET7J1oXiMjWq8EQYUaJzhmBf0e3ACEwYBhgL/s1600/strange-color2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jxp76RWVpw4/WfDCQ2QXWxI/AAAAAAAACTk/kKfaUET7J1oXiMjWq8EQYUaJzhmBf0e3ACEwYBhgL/s400/strange-color2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yeah, I got nothin'</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
There are stories in the mix - vignettes of violence that other people
seem compelled to share with Dan - but they confuse both Dan and us. Are
they part of the mystery or merely vehicles for the filmmakers to
assault us with different filmmaking techniques? I'd like to think
there's a larger purpose to the weirdness - something involving a woman
(or multiple women) named Laura - but I'm just as convinced that the
film is intended to be a giallo experience, a thrill ride in which the
point is the journey, not the destination.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-q3iaWf38cco/WfDCRKUjh-I/AAAAAAAACTw/DL23KM_ty9MZmqv4jxB4oilRvPNTzg1AQCEwYBhgL/s1600/strange-color4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-q3iaWf38cco/WfDCRKUjh-I/AAAAAAAACTw/DL23KM_ty9MZmqv4jxB4oilRvPNTzg1AQCEwYBhgL/s400/strange-color4.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Still got nothin'</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
It's the images and bizarre sequences that will stick with you after the
film is over, not whatever story there is. A woman whose eyes change
color to match her jewelry, head wounds reminiscent of vaginas, an
extended (dream?) sequence in which Dan is awakened and stalked by
himself, stained glass windows that turn into kaleidoscopes, a hat box
that is sometimes empty and sometimes not. After a while the endless
stream of bizarre imagery overwhelms and then blunts your appreciation.
It goes on too long and by the time the ending finally arrived I had
already tired of the whole thing. Reduce something too much and it all
starts to taste the same after a while.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Iin8C7Xc9L8/WfDDPgV2rfI/AAAAAAAACT0/XhSvK9gbtUw3OSB1HC3nC6KKo2-VGXIywCEwYBhgL/s1600/strange-color5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Iin8C7Xc9L8/WfDDPgV2rfI/AAAAAAAACT0/XhSvK9gbtUw3OSB1HC3nC6KKo2-VGXIywCEwYBhgL/s400/strange-color5.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Eyeballs. It all tastes like eyeballs.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<b>The Bottom Line</b><br />
<i>The Strange Color of Your Body's Tears</i> is worth a viewing, if
only for the assault on your eyes and ears. It really does feel like the
essence of the giallo (right down to the sound of stretching leather
that seems to accompany both sex and murder) and you do feel like the
filmmakers have a love an appreciation of the genre. It overstays its
welcome, however, and you may come to realize that stylish sex and
violence can't sustain a film all on their own.
Bob Cram Jrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09217460605617675931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8564922252362886970.post-1821066846250608262017-10-25T11:13:00.000-04:002017-10-25T11:13:19.118-04:0031 Days, 31 Horror Movies: God Told Me To<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NUewDfngl8A/WfCjmWkC6LI/AAAAAAAACSM/3OknSatUHcEdyLxfnfAQZw1gH2uZWsgDACLcBGAs/s1600/god-told-me-to.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="473" data-original-width="334" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NUewDfngl8A/WfCjmWkC6LI/AAAAAAAACSM/3OknSatUHcEdyLxfnfAQZw1gH2uZWsgDACLcBGAs/s200/god-told-me-to.jpg" width="140" /></a></div>
<b><i>God Told Me To </i>(1976)</b><br />
I think Larry Cohen is a genius. A hack genius, a genius with no
patience and a willingness to let "good enough" get in the way of "truly
great," but a genius nevertheless. He has fantastic ideas and the
occasional gem of a shot or sequence, but they're often intermingled
with nonsense or lackluster footage that merely gets the job done.<br />
<br />
Not that I've seen every Larry Cohen film. <i>It's Alive</i>, <i>Q</i>, <a href="http://digitalapocrypha.blogspot.com/2014/10/31-days-31-horror-movies-stuff.html" target="_blank"><i>The Stuff</i></a>, and <i>A Return to Salem's Lot</i>
are it at the moment , though I've seen more films that he's scripted
(like <i>Phonebooth</i>). So, yes, I'm basing the whole 'genius' label on
cheap, exploitation-level genre fare, but I'm telling you - not a
single one of those films are simple, straightforward horror flicks.
There are always crazy ideas, social commentary, satire and - often
enough - some great characters. He's like Robert Altman mixed with Roger
Corman.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LNsjZSfI-nc/WfClcWgwMUI/AAAAAAAACSY/acZVNVbhjLYezNQOpYXirJOx0XItiXj8QCLcBGAs/s1600/god-told-me-to1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LNsjZSfI-nc/WfClcWgwMUI/AAAAAAAACSY/acZVNVbhjLYezNQOpYXirJOx0XItiXj8QCLcBGAs/s400/god-told-me-to1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You know, if Altman used stop motion monsters to make social commentary.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Part of it is his willingness to pursue his ideas regardless of entertainment value. There's some startling imagery in <i>God Told Me To</i>
- including closeups of a fake vagina - that probably cost him his
original producers. It's part of the story, though, and that means it
goes in - regardless of the blowback. Also, there's a bit of the 'we
shot it, we use it' mentality of guerilla film-making going on.
(Especially when it comes to the New York City footage in <i>Q</i> and <i>God Told Me Too</i> - most of which was shot without a permit.)<br />
<br />
<b>The Medium</b><br />
Shudder again.<br />
<br />
<b>The Movie</b><br />
A New York City street, crowds of people going about their daily
business. Suddenly a man on a bicycle falls over, his head covered in
blood. A second or two later the sound of a gunshot echoes among the
skyscrapers. And then another one falls. And another. The gunshots
continue in rapid, horrifying succession.<br />
<br />
There are two things that heighten the awfulness of this scene. One is
the recent attack in Las Vegas in which a gunman - shooting from a tall
building - killed 58 people and wound hundreds of others. I hadn't
expected it, though I had a rough idea what the movie was about, and it
hit me harder as a result (despite the technicolor nature of the
'blood'). The second thing is that most of the people in those scenes
had no idea what was going on. They're truly innocent bystanders,
unaware that a movie was being shot. Their reactions are genuine and it
gives the scene a realism you wouldn't otherwise be able to get.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Gthf3quwX9o/WfCnf7XCiKI/AAAAAAAACSs/orBH0fcmQy0VqMcnHMWyu4kctJ5c6W_NgCLcBGAs/s1600/god-told-me-to3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Gthf3quwX9o/WfCnf7XCiKI/AAAAAAAACSs/orBH0fcmQy0VqMcnHMWyu4kctJ5c6W_NgCLcBGAs/s400/god-told-me-to3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's also New York, so some people are just "what is she, drunk?"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
I wonder of Cohen ever got sued for therapy bills afterward.<br />
<br />
The perpetrator of this massacre is an unassuming young man with a
rifle, willing to talk to the police detective - Peter Nicholas (Tony Lo
Bianco) - who climbs the rickety metal ladder of the water tower the
gunman is perched on. When asked why he's doing this horrible thing the
man says, simply, "God told me to." And then he pitches over the side of
the water tower.<br />
<br />
That fall is also somehow terrifyingly realistic - it doesn't look like a
dummy and the way it's shot and framed makes it look like there
couldn't be a mat or net (and given Cohen's usual budgetary
restrictions, I don't think he could have paid for such a stunt). You're
horrified - even though you know this guy just killed a dozen people.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FTi-UfB33I8/WfClcS7viPI/AAAAAAAACSg/T3SryiXXqzwW55tb4RXx3F2i8Hj0DnESACEwYBhgL/s1600/god-told-me-to2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FTi-UfB33I8/WfClcS7viPI/AAAAAAAACSg/T3SryiXXqzwW55tb4RXx3F2i8Hj0DnESACEwYBhgL/s400/god-told-me-to2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm getting dizzy just looking at this.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
These two opening sequences are stellar and I found myself wondering why
this movie didn't have more acclaim and interest. But of course this is
a Larry Cohen movie, and while there are flashes of this level of
quality in the rest of the film there are also lots of shaky hand-held
footage where things aren't in focus, or the lighting is too low to see,
or the effects are terrible. (There are sequences where Cohen re-uses
effects from a popular 70's sci-fi TV show that are incredibly jarring
for fans of that show.)<br />
<br />
Detective Nicholas, a devout - if conflicted - Catholic, is disturbed by
this senseless crime. His unease increases when this proves to be only
the first of a series of crimes committed by seemingly ordinary people
who all claim that God had told them to do it. An anonymous tip informs
him that there will be another attack during the St.Patrick's Day parade
and Nicholas races against time and bureaucratic intransigence to try
and stop it. (Cohen actually managed to film a bunch of scenes in and
around the actual parade decades before <i>The Fugitive</i> would do the
same in Chicago - although without that film's permission!) He fails to
prevent the shooting - committed by a young Andy Kaufmen, playing a
policeman in his first film role - but manages to get his first lead.
The shooter had spoken to a young man with long, blonde hair.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-qni71hRSyag/WfCnf9sCWEI/AAAAAAAACS0/rGcwL7XR-z8uauNC1oLeCkPzJIZ_5rgIQCEwYBhgL/s1600/god-told-me-to5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-qni71hRSyag/WfCnf9sCWEI/AAAAAAAACS0/rGcwL7XR-z8uauNC1oLeCkPzJIZ_5rgIQCEwYBhgL/s400/god-told-me-to5.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Andy looks just so excited to be there!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Here, the movie bogs down a bit, as it settles into a bit of a standard
procedural format. Nicholas - whose religion prevents him from divorcing
his wife, but not from living with another woman - runs from lead to
lead, looking for the young man whose name is revealed to be Bernard
Phillips. And who may just be God himself.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4xm0sYY5vmE/WfCpCfg5-ZI/AAAAAAAACS8/btiFz4j_WhkbG_-2AYO-pA-DWayrWYW4gCLcBGAs/s1600/god-told-me-to6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4xm0sYY5vmE/WfCpCfg5-ZI/AAAAAAAACS8/btiFz4j_WhkbG_-2AYO-pA-DWayrWYW4gCLcBGAs/s400/god-told-me-to6.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Although if God looks like Richard Lynch I'd probably question my faith.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Things are never that straightforward in a Cohen film, though, and the
twists and revelations are interesting enough that I won't reveal more
about the plot. They're of varying quality, as is standard in a Cohen
film, but well worth experiencing without knowing them ahead of time.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SAwRqXJJo2M/WfCnfxscKGI/AAAAAAAACSo/z8SWVKISwVwIGq4MgEuPmmTe5h1vw852wCEwYBhgL/s1600/god-told-me-to4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SAwRqXJJo2M/WfCnfxscKGI/AAAAAAAACSo/z8SWVKISwVwIGq4MgEuPmmTe5h1vw852wCEwYBhgL/s400/god-told-me-to4.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"And I'll cut anyone who says different."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
It's a frustrating film because of that mix of excellence and
mediocrity. There's a fantastic, emotional scene between Nicholas and an
elderly woman (played by Sylvia Sidney - who has been in a ton of
things, but who I remembered primarily as Juno in <i>Beetlejuice</i>).
It's followed by an overly melodramatic scene between Nicholas, his wife
Martha (Sandy Dennis) and his lover Casey (Deborah Raffin). The latter
scene is so flat I found it hard to believe there wasn't something wrong
with the actor.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MVSJkwfjXI0/WfCpuZENhEI/AAAAAAAACTE/IbzI3asoV2A8DGhQTIPk3e1gg0lbbAcZwCLcBGAs/s1600/god-told-me-to7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MVSJkwfjXI0/WfCpuZENhEI/AAAAAAAACTE/IbzI3asoV2A8DGhQTIPk3e1gg0lbbAcZwCLcBGAs/s400/god-told-me-to7.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Maybe bad tuna at craft services that day.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<b>The Bottom Line</b><br />
In the end, <i>God Told Me To</i> (also released as <i>Demon</i>) is a
film with ideas bigger than its budget (particularly in a climactic
final sequence that fails to be as apocalyptic as it's intended to be).
It's still a pretty amazing film, worth seeing for the things that do
work and to appreciate the vision, as flawed as it is.
Bob Cram Jrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09217460605617675931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8564922252362886970.post-29972427279418862712017-10-24T16:19:00.001-04:002017-10-24T16:19:54.836-04:0031 Days, 31 Horror Movies: Grave Encounters<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4YC0XWiq06g/We-gMP_7lpI/AAAAAAAACRw/xMauzTy9uEQo-Wu1TZqPV9s4QHDG5P31gCLcBGAs/s1600/grave-encounters.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="357" height="200" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4YC0XWiq06g/We-gMP_7lpI/AAAAAAAACRw/xMauzTy9uEQo-Wu1TZqPV9s4QHDG5P31gCLcBGAs/s200/grave-encounters.jpg" width="142" /></a></div>
Still catching up. The second of the 'Movies Set in Asylums' was:<br />
<br />
<b><i>Grave Encounters</i> (2011)</b><br />
Okay, so I've gone ghost hunting with Jason and Grant, from the <i>Ghost Hunters</i>
show. The circumstances involved an inn they own in New Hampshire and
tickets for a 'hunt with the Ghost Hunters' event that my Mom ended up
not being able to go to. So we headed up there with my brother and his
wife and wandered around the snowy environs taking EVPs and talking to
ghosts via an EMF reader. Not something I would have paid to do, but it
was terrific fun nonetheless.<br />
<br />
The point is - I was watching the <i>Ghost Hunters</i> show regularly when <i>Grave Encounters</i> crossed my viewing path and I think I appreciated it all the more for the connection.<br />
<br />
There was a time when I was pretty much just grudge-watching
found-footage movies. I knew I was in for nothing but cheap, terrible
films featuring awful people running through the woods and arguing in
green-lit night vision. It's a weakness - like my love of Cheetos - that
I can't seem to shake. Even now I'll find myself choosing to watch a
found-footage film - like <i>Atrocious</i>, for instance - even though I know it's going to be... well, atrocious.<br />
<br />
In that endless parade of shaky cam <i>Grave Encounters</i> was a bit of
a bright light. It still contains all the things that make a
found-footage film: the night vision, the conveniently placed cameras,
the arguing while walking, the insistence on running the camera long
after anyone sane would have abandoned filming - but it's all used in
the service of the story, with only a few missteps along the way.<br />
<br />
<b>The Medium</b><br />
Streaming on Shudder. It's been a great value this October.<br />
<br />
<b>The Movie</b><br />
<i>Grave Encounters</i> is actually the title of a television series and
the footage is presented as material found after the film crew
disappeared while taping their sixth episode. The episode was to have
featured the crew investigating a supposedly haunted mental asylum
called the Collingwood Psychiatric Hospital (a completely fictional
place, as opposed to the Danvers Hospital in <i>Session 9</i>). This material is presented as 'what really happened' and isn't 'modified or tampered with in any way.'<br />
<br />
Sure.<br />
<br />
The initial footage introduces us to the <i>Grave Encounters</i> crew -
host Lance Preston, occult specialist Sasha, tech-guy Matt, cameraman
T.C. and later medium (and out-of-work-actor) Houston. We get just
enough time with each to form a quick impression and then we're off to
the ghost-hunt races.<br />
<br />
I was actually already enjoying the film at this point. I liked the way
they included out-take footage of the crew trying to get the best shot
or the right intro and paying the gardener to lie about seeing ghosts on
the grounds. While none of the characters is ever more than a line or
two deep, the actors are likeable enough and I could distinguish each
one from the others - not something I can say for a lot of found-footage
films.<br />
<br />
The deal for the episode is that the whole crew will be locked in for
the night. The setting is creepy enough, but I've seen so many ghost
hunting TV episodes that I was ready to fall asleep as they covered the
standard moments - setting up the fixed cameras, taking EVPS, explaining
all the equipment and what each minor thing means. Once the actual
weird stuff starts happening, though, I started paying closer attention.<br />
<br />
Because of course the asylum is actually haunted. Otherwise it really WOULD be like any given episode of <i>Ghost Hunters</i>.
(They even have minor events that they plan to blow out of all
proportion.) And my favorite thing is that when stuff really starts to
go wrong they're reaction is "okay, let's get out of here." Sure, Lance
is all "but we're getting something real!" but the others are done once
they're actual interacted with by some presence.<br />
<br />
And then the movie kicks up a notch. Because when they finally get tired
of waiting for the caretaker to let them out and bust down the front
door... it just opens on to another hallway. Not only that, but despite
it being early morning it appears to still be night outside.<br />
<br />
There's a lot more movie after this moment, but that was when it really
elevated itself above the average found-footage film for me. My favorite
part of <i>House of Leaves</i> is the whole Navidson Record section and I could well imagine a <span style="color: red;"><s>minotaur</s></span> presence following the crew around the maze they find themselves in.<br />
<br />
Special effects are pretty standard for a found-footage film, but
they're used sparingly and well. There's a cool moment with a bathtub
full of blood and some accumulating weirdness in photos that I liked.
The ending is a little abrupt, but I also wasn't sure where else they
could go so (despite the cheese of the final line) it works for me.<br />
<br />
<b>The Bottom Line</b><br />
While it doesn't reach the heights of films like <i>[REC]</i>, <i>Grave Encounters</i>
is one of the better found-footage movies I've seen. If you can get
past the standard tropes of night-vision, arguing and walking long
distances down similar looking hallways there's some fun to be had.
Bob Cram Jrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09217460605617675931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8564922252362886970.post-49898207903775901342017-10-23T20:07:00.001-04:002017-10-23T20:07:42.086-04:0031 Days, 31 Horror Movies: Session 9The weekend double-feature will be getting short-shrift as I try and catch up. First film in the 'Movies Set in Asylums' was:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PYs4hlov9Yg/We6D_w9aYBI/AAAAAAAACRU/VGZrME2_qzwycs6K3vQ0EiLvgFHMYF6xQCLcBGAs/s1600/session9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="473" data-original-width="322" height="200" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PYs4hlov9Yg/We6D_w9aYBI/AAAAAAAACRU/VGZrME2_qzwycs6K3vQ0EiLvgFHMYF6xQCLcBGAs/s200/session9.jpg" width="135" /></a></div>
<b>Session 9</b><br />
My wife and I were fairly early adopters of Netflix. Our local video
store - the awesome Matt & Dave's Video Venture - was bought out by a
chain store and stopped being much fun to go to. (I still have a stack
of the wooden coins you accumulated when you rented videos - you could
trade them in for free rentals.) I tried sticking with the new place,
but I think the biggest draw for Netflix back in the early days was the
lack of late fees - you could have a movie for months and not have to
worry about it. Once we'd tried it we basically never looked back.<br />
<br />
The reason for bringing this up is that I think I rented <i>Session 9</i>
from Netflix back in 2001 (maybe 2002). I no longer have a DVD
membership, so I can't check. I DO remember being impressed with the
film and - along with a few other releases in 2001 and 2002, including <i>The Others</i>, <i>28 Days Later</i>, <i>Dog Soldiers</i> and <i>The Ring</i> - it contributing to the feeling that horror movies were making a comeback. Sure, we'd had <i>The Blair Witch Project</i> and a few other standouts, but there was also a lot of <i>I know What You Did Last Summer</i> and <i>Scream</i> sequels. <i>Session 9</i> made me think that maybe some interesting horror movies might be getting made again.<br />
<br />
<b>The Medium</b><br />
This was the last of the films I've watched on Starz this year.
Unfortunately, according to JustWatch.com (thanks for the link, Bhu!)
it's ONLY streaming on Starz. You can find copies of the DVD for less
than $3 bucks, though. (Oh! And it looks like there's Scream Factory
Blu-ray release I may have to track down...)<br />
<br />
<b>The Movie</b><br />
Gordon and his crew of Asbestos abatement professionals (including a post-<i>Jade</i>, pre-<i>CSI Miami</i>
David Caruso) are bidding on a job to clean parts of the Danvers mental
asylum. Gordon - tired and desperate - tells the official that he can
get the job done in one week - over the objections of Phil (Caruso), his
right-hand man. Over the course of the week the stress of the job,
home-life, interpersonal conflicts on the crew and - just maybe -
something in the asylum itself all take a toll on Gordon and the rest
of the men.<br />
<br />
If you're thinking "this sounds more like a psychological horror movie than a gore fest" you'd be right. <i>Session 9</i>
is a slow burner and even the final moments don't provide much in the
way of explicit violence. That doesn't mean this isn't an effective
movie, though. It's partly in the creep factor of the setting - the
movie was filmed on location at Danvers State Hospital - and partly due
to the way the director (<i>The Machinist</i>'s Brad Anderson) frames
and paces the film. We see a lot of slightly disturbing things - a
wheelchair in sunlight at the end of a dark hallway, a patient's room
wallpapered with random photographs - that are allowed to linger for
longer than is strictly comfortable.<br />
<br />
Over the unsettling imagery we're often treated to the audio from a
series of patient sessions (numbered 1-9). The patient, Mary, suffers
from dissociative identity disorder, and the tapes revolve around her
doctor interviewing Mary and her different personalities, trying to
ascertain the events of Christmas night, 22 years ago. We get to hear
them because one of the workers - Mike - listens to them over the course
of the week. <br />
<br />
The voice of the doctor on the tape seemed familiar, but I had to go looking. It's Lonnie Farmer, who's been in a ton of stuff.<br />
<br />
Weird things happen, Gordon begins to disintegrate on a personal level, a
conflict between Phil and another worker, Hank (Josh Lucas) threatens
to spill over into violence, and Mike's fascination with the tapes
slowly becomes an obsession. Everything is on simmer long enough that
you wonder if it will ever come to a boil, but it does. (Just in time
for poor Larry Fessenden to show up.) I'm not sure if it quite holds
together in the end - there are some moments with Phil and Gordon that I
find a tad confusing - but it's enough of a mood piece that I gloss
over some of the details.<br />
<br />
<b>The Bottom Line</b><br />
I haven't seen <i>Session 9</i> since that Netflix rental way back when,
but I'm happy to say it holds up to my initial impressions. Good
performances, a great location and a creepy mood (and final line) that
stays with you after the credits roll.
Bob Cram Jrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09217460605617675931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8564922252362886970.post-24378218848294604212017-10-21T12:28:00.000-04:002017-10-21T12:28:52.692-04:0031 Days, 31 Horror Movies: The Giant Spider Invasion<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-u2VWjC2mbmc/WetuE0dbf6I/AAAAAAAACQM/jjL0IVX7mugEC-sHjwsYnqlAt6fwk0F5gCLcBGAs/s1600/giant-spider-invasion.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="403" height="200" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-u2VWjC2mbmc/WetuE0dbf6I/AAAAAAAACQM/jjL0IVX7mugEC-sHjwsYnqlAt6fwk0F5gCLcBGAs/s200/giant-spider-invasion.jpg" width="133" /></a></div>
<i><b>The Giant Spider Invasion</b></i><br />
The most unbelievable thing about <i>The Giant Spider Invasion</i> is
that it's one of the fifty top grossing movies of 1975. All I can think
is that the poster was pretty awesome and there was some serious
nostalgia for the giant bug movies of the 1950's going on. <br />
<br />
Watching this film killed any plans I had to have a Bill Rebane film
festival, though. There are moments of hilarity and that giant spider
is... well, it's something. I just don't think I can devote that much of
my life to a series of films with this level of acting, cinematography,
writing and effects. I have other things to do - like paint the trim on
my house or rake pine needles.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-qOOCZFTqIfU/WetyC4gouAI/AAAAAAAACQg/ju-nbClm3vY1sFlNgs6XwAIyQEG7xHAeQCLcBGAs/s1600/giant-spider-invasion2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-qOOCZFTqIfU/WetyC4gouAI/AAAAAAAACQg/ju-nbClm3vY1sFlNgs6XwAIyQEG7xHAeQCLcBGAs/s400/giant-spider-invasion2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And clear the spiders off the roof.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
I will have to see his <i>The Capture of Bigfoot</i> at some point, as I
have previously unspoken (even to myself, *sob*) desire to see all the
Bigfoot-themed movies of the 1970's. This, despite the fact that Troma
studio head Lloyd Kaufmen calls it one of the 5 worst films Troma ever
distributed.<br />
<br />
<b>The Medium</b><br />
Currently streaming on Shudder. It's an incredibly poor copy of the
film, but I'm honestly not sure how a clearer picture would have
improved things. (Holy crap you guys - there's a Blu-ray release of this
movie. All I can do is wonder at the fact that there's a Blu-ray of
this, but none of <i>Alligator</i> or <i>It's Alive!</i>) (In the US anyway.)<br />
<br />
<b>The Movie</b><br />
<i>The Giant Spider Invasion</i> starts of like a ton of 50's sci-fi
movies did, with a mysterious light in the sky and something that
crashes on the property of a local farmer. This farmer, Kester, is the
most reprehensible sonova bitch - stepping out on his wife and leering
after his step-daughter. He's an entertaining asshole, though, I'll give
him that much.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TU1LyEYkF3Q/Wet0El8ci8I/AAAAAAAACQs/eUA_M-dBnT8fppDXtztuZ_JmviQ8tph0QCLcBGAs/s1600/giant-spider-invasion6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TU1LyEYkF3Q/Wet0El8ci8I/AAAAAAAACQs/eUA_M-dBnT8fppDXtztuZ_JmviQ8tph0QCLcBGAs/s400/giant-spider-invasion6.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Not the first body I've had to hide. Hey, wonder what's in his wallet..."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, NASA sends a scientist, Dr. Vance, to coordinate with local
astronomer, Dr. Langer., in order to find whatever crashed. They're both
played by veteran TV and film actors and their straightforward and
earnest delivery of lines makes those lines even more ridiculous. (One
of my favorites is probably unintentionally funny - after an extended
sexist sequence where Vance keeps asking to see Langer's husband,
brother or son, not expecting her to be the astronomer, she introduces
him to her staff as "Mr. Vance." Sick burn, Doctor L.! You know he
didn't get that Doctorate just to be called "Mr."!)<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-R--AQhbbxhs/WetyC8AIBOI/AAAAAAAACQc/kr_BzdzevokU1-wQn1iwbgKUoqUjK6TkwCEwYBhgL/s1600/giant-spider-invasion3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-R--AQhbbxhs/WetyC8AIBOI/AAAAAAAACQc/kr_BzdzevokU1-wQn1iwbgKUoqUjK6TkwCEwYBhgL/s400/giant-spider-invasion3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"That really hurt my feelings."<br />"You have feelings?"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Of course Kester and his wife, Ev - who obviously hate each other - have
found the crash site. It's surrounded by geodes. Kester brings some
back to the farm and manages to split one open. Unfortunately for
everyone he doesn't see the spider that escapes from it. That's only the
first and soon the farm and surrounds are infested with spiders
(they're all live tarantulas at this point). In one horrifying sequence
we see Ev mix up a drink using a blender containing a spider. It's
nausea inducing.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RT1XHaorp78/WetyC6JZTsI/AAAAAAAACQY/W6lDjMKcO6UayVFFZtRrE7tOltqe6HS5QCEwYBhgL/s1600/giant-spider-invasion1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RT1XHaorp78/WetyC6JZTsI/AAAAAAAACQY/W6lDjMKcO6UayVFFZtRrE7tOltqe6HS5QCEwYBhgL/s400/giant-spider-invasion1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"You brought a shovel to the kitchen table. This is why I drink."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Around these two storylines are some things with the sheriff (<i>Gilligan's Island</i> vet Alan Hale Jr. - forced by the script to utter "Hey little buddy!" in his first appearance) and a local reporter.<br />
<br />
Finally Ev must deal with the spiders when a furry muppet attacks her
from a dresser drawer. She does her best to sell this as a real spider,
but... come on. This thing quickly grows in size and before you know it
is almost as large as a house - threatening Ev's daughter (just like
almost every male character in the film) and destroying the farm before
moving off to be in a parade somewhere.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-J1OtGTgVxNc/Wet0FL_VduI/AAAAAAAACQ4/QRPvZEFi8sETVfn3Ny1mICqhHf3D9HrJACEwYBhgL/s1600/giant-spider-invasion7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-J1OtGTgVxNc/Wet0FL_VduI/AAAAAAAACQ4/QRPvZEFi8sETVfn3Ny1mICqhHf3D9HrJACEwYBhgL/s400/giant-spider-invasion7.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Later the Shriners will jump over it in miniature cars.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
I'll give the film this - the giant spider is damn entertaining to
watch. It's not scary or threatening in any way, but it is hilarious and
they managed to get the legs moving in a semi-realistic fashion. The
bits where it swallows people whole are a bit less believable.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-efYBOIJH7lQ/Wet0EkSg-7I/AAAAAAAACQ0/uZNfH93RRFM9WWre84sW-XOEo4RYgoizQCEwYBhgL/s1600/giant-spider-invasion5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-efYBOIJH7lQ/Wet0EkSg-7I/AAAAAAAACQ0/uZNfH93RRFM9WWre84sW-XOEo4RYgoizQCEwYBhgL/s400/giant-spider-invasion5.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Their expressions before it does so are pure gold, however.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
The two scientists wander around for a bit and have a budding romance
and eventually figure out that a black hole is causing some kind of
interdimensional gateway (instead of, you know, simply sucking all
matter into it and causing the destruction of the Earth). They manage to
close it and all the extra-dimensional spiders turn to goo.<br />
<br />
Wow. So, I'm not going to lie - I started to drift off during this
movie, so I didn't pay as much attention as I should have. There are
things I enjoyed - the level of cheese is so high that you can't help
but get carried along in some spots. The dialogue is often
unintentionally hilarious, the hate/hate relationship with Kester and Ev
is also entertaining, and that giant spider thing is always fun to
watch. The production quality is pretty terrible, however, as is the
cinematography, music, acting, editing effects... And the subplot about
guys lusting after Ev's daughter is creepier than anything going on with
the spiders (except that blender sequence).<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-j-LmTmXPklk/Wet0Enav9MI/AAAAAAAACQw/D4JSWc2xPV0YXaCpH0ySh0hIpvEFuhJMwCEwYBhgL/s1600/giant-spider-invasion4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-j-LmTmXPklk/Wet0Enav9MI/AAAAAAAACQw/D4JSWc2xPV0YXaCpH0ySh0hIpvEFuhJMwCEwYBhgL/s400/giant-spider-invasion4.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Least exploitative shot of Terry in the entire movie.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
In some ways this reminded me of films by Don Dohler, like <i>The Alien Factor</i> and <i>Nightbeast</i>
(which I watched for the very first 31 Days). The pure incompetence
makes you root for the film and moves it - occasionally - into 'so bad
it's good' territory.<br />
<br />
<b>The Bottom Line</b><br />
Well, <i>The Giant Spider Invasion</i> is something I've seen now. At
some point I'll have to watch the MST3K episode that features it. I have
a feeling I'll enjoy it a lot more than the original. If you have to
see a spider-themed movie from the 1970's I highly recommend the
Shatneriffic <i>Kingdom of the Spiders</i> instead.
Bob Cram Jrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09217460605617675931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8564922252362886970.post-75824715775520616152017-10-20T19:37:00.002-04:002017-10-20T21:22:04.969-04:0031 Days, 31 Horror Movies: Below<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cHygNYrGXVQ/WeqDvmPdZBI/AAAAAAAACPM/kj8uQfKHVAk4WtcWVwmIcGx4IdVmg8yRwCLcBGAs/s1600/below.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="571" data-original-width="400" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cHygNYrGXVQ/WeqDvmPdZBI/AAAAAAAACPM/kj8uQfKHVAk4WtcWVwmIcGx4IdVmg8yRwCLcBGAs/s200/below.jpg" width="140" /></a></div>
<b>Below (2002)</b><br />
I didn't expect to watch two David Twohy movies this year, but the discussion after <i>Pitch Black</i> made me remember how much I had enjoyed <i>Below</i>. When I saw it was on Starz I had to take the opportunity to watch it again. <br />
<br />
My grandfather's WW2 stories were all about being a bombardier, and you
would think those tales would have instilled in me an interest in flight
(and a horror of accidentally bombing a whale), but I've always been
more fascinated by submarines. They put me in mind of spaceships -
enclosed tubes surrounded by a deadly environment, forced to carry all
the air, fresh water, food etc, gone for months at a time with a small
crew. That was the stuff of golden age science fiction to me and -
though I haven't seen all submarine movies by any stretch - I've often
sought out and enjoyed films featuring them.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SKGyMN9xPl4/WeqHYVEL-xI/AAAAAAAACPo/Yjt6qpBHMewUfbDr44PmQJE0xPE-B6-DwCLcBGAs/s1600/below5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SKGyMN9xPl4/WeqHYVEL-xI/AAAAAAAACPo/Yjt6qpBHMewUfbDr44PmQJE0xPE-B6-DwCLcBGAs/s400/below5.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Though you can't do this in space.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Given how terrifying manning a submarine must be, there aren't that many
horror stories set on submarines. (I know Lovecraft has one - "The
Temple." Any others that I should know about?) Anyway, maybe it's that
the reality of a war-time submarine is bad enough. One of the most
terrifying moments in any sub movie is when you've heard the splash of
depth charges and everyone is waiting - usually with an insistent sonar
ping in the background - to see if they're going to escape or die of
drowning/crushing when the damn thing explodes too close. Ghosts might
seem a little tame after that.<br />
<br />
Still, when I heard about <i>Below</i> back in the early days of this
century it seemed custom made for me. A horror movie set on a submarine.
I remember liking it a lot and that the ensemble cast was pretty damn
good. I honestly didn't remember the plot before the movie started
(though it came back fairly quick) and I don't think I had any idea who
Zack Galifianakis was back in 2002. (Or maybe I recognized him from <i>Boston Common</i>?)<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mPCyBLWAqP4/WeqHXRbAEDI/AAAAAAAACPc/jBRX5Ogk1DUwbGSwrJkegui241zG-l1uwCLcBGAs/s1600/below3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mPCyBLWAqP4/WeqHXRbAEDI/AAAAAAAACPc/jBRX5Ogk1DUwbGSwrJkegui241zG-l1uwCLcBGAs/s400/below3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yeah, probably not.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<b>The Medium</b><br />
Starz. Streaming issues are the death of a horror movie. Any tension
built up dissipates as Zack Galifianakis' beard turns into a haze of
brown pixels. If you can see it on a service other than Starz (or on
DVD), I urge you to do so.<br />
<br />
<b>The Movie</b><br />
<i>Below</i> is a haunted house movie in which the house just so happens
to be a World War 2 submarine. Sure, it starts off as a more standard
WWII story in which the sub, the USS Tiger Shark, is ordered to pick up
survivors of a British hospital ship sunk by a German sub. As they're
picking up the three survivors a German ship is spotted bearing down on
them and the first of several tense cat-and-mouse sequences immediately
ensues as the German ship tries to sink the American submarine. The
commander of the sub, Lt. Brice (Bruce Greenwood) shoots one of the
survivors when he turns out to be a German prisoner-of-war. (To be fair,
the guy went for a scalpel.)<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bpcFkUCGrfU/WeqHXUOUyuI/AAAAAAAACPY/Z8G8hNO44fwHUI40nzgxVdBz6apCBUinwCLcBGAs/s1600/below1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bpcFkUCGrfU/WeqHXUOUyuI/AAAAAAAACPY/Z8G8hNO44fwHUI40nzgxVdBz6apCBUinwCLcBGAs/s400/below1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I knew things weren't going to be good when the sky was this color.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Before we get too far - what a cast this movie has. Greenwood,
Galifianakis, Matt Davis, Holt McCallany, Olivia Williams, Jason
Flemyng, Scott Foley and more. I feel like I recognized every actor with
a speaking role, though I'm not sure what their fame level was at the
time. Nobody is a start or was a star, but they're all working character
actors and they all do an excellent job.<br />
<br />
Okay, back to the film. So, one of the survivors is a nurse, Claire Page
(Williams) and there's a bit of the 'ooh, woman on a submarine with a
lot of men who haven't seen a woman in a long time,' but there isn't too
much time spent on that. Most of the conflict surrounds her
unwillingness to go along with what she's told to do and believe the
information she's given. She figures out that Brice is NOT the captain
and forces the Lieutenant to tell the story of how the previous
commander, Winters, died after hitting his head while topside after
torpedoing a German ship.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1Il7TVoAX_Y/WeqHZYQx8UI/AAAAAAAACPw/X80QFwb4ReonknjPpfCrq2pi48Pe54RcwCLcBGAs/s1600/below7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1Il7TVoAX_Y/WeqHZYQx8UI/AAAAAAAACPw/X80QFwb4ReonknjPpfCrq2pi48Pe54RcwCLcBGAs/s400/below7.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Thaaats' the look Claire uses most of the film.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Claire knows this is sketchy. Even I know this is sketchy - especially
given the behavior of some of the other senior officers - but it's Bruce
Frikkin' Greenwood, man! I want to believe him, I really do.<br />
<br />
After the death of the German weird stuff starts happening. There are
odd noises and people hear voices. The sub can't seem to shake the
German boat following them and when several men have to head outside to
fix a possible oil leak (between two of the subs hulls, which is a
freakin' creepy-ass place to be, even when there aren't dozens of
enormous manta rays hanging around. One of the men, Odell (Davis) is
told by another officer, Coors (Foley) that Winters actually wanted to
machine gun survivors of the German boat they'd torpedoed. Brice, Coors
and Lt. Loomis (McCallany) had objected and in the scuffle that followed
Winters had hit his head and fallen overboard. The men had lied to
protect Winters reputation.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PP64ViChoDg/WeqHXQ9h8TI/AAAAAAAACPg/h_hB-P3Y7nko6U32NSkDKAxATGnQyvSYgCLcBGAs/s1600/below2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PP64ViChoDg/WeqHXQ9h8TI/AAAAAAAACPg/h_hB-P3Y7nko6U32NSkDKAxATGnQyvSYgCLcBGAs/s400/below2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Well, this submarine just got a lot spookier with a hollow area between the hulls.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Are you buying this? I'm not buying it. Foley is no Greenwood, and I get
the sneaking suspicion he's actually out there with the men to make
sure Odell - who's been asking inconvenient questions - doesn't make it
back in. However it's Coors that dies in between the hulls, after seeing
something that makes him lose his footing.<br />
<br />
After that, people start to die. A lot. Loomis buys it after trying to
escape from a vision of Winters by leaving the sub. Hydrolics fail and
an attempt to bypass the system goes spectacularly wrong when
electricity and the heightened hydrogen content from failing scrubbers
meet. Soon the sub is out of control - or at least out of human control -
and only a handful of survivors are left to meet whatever fate awaits
them at the point where the sub finally stops.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TLgfx9xonMo/WeqHY9bJfAI/AAAAAAAACPs/b0BRVe1OTYQ4_x0h4S4JIK67TDxIncCEQCLcBGAs/s1600/below6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TLgfx9xonMo/WeqHY9bJfAI/AAAAAAAACPs/b0BRVe1OTYQ4_x0h4S4JIK67TDxIncCEQCLcBGAs/s400/below6.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Neither of us is gonna make it, Jimbo!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
I just love the movie. I'm sure there are anachronisms galore, but I
didn't much care. There's a spooky atmosphere from the get go that only
increases as the power dies and the light sources get fewer (and
occasionally redder). The actors are all excellent and I found myself
enjoying small moments, gestures, expressions, simple exchanges.
There's a scene where the men are in the mess talking about what's going
on and one of them floats the idea that maybe they didn't survive that
first attack - that they've been dead the whole time. It's a cool and
creepy moment that also punctures (or reinforces) one of the things the
audience might have been thinking.<br />
<br />
<b>The Bottom Line</b><br />
<i>Below</i> is a wonderful little thriller/ghost story with great
direction, acting, editing and effects (especially for a movie made 15
years ago). It might chill more than scare, but it's good enough that I
often wonder why it sank at the box office. <span style="font-size: xx-small;">(I'm sorry.)</span>Bob Cram Jrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09217460605617675931noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8564922252362886970.post-17172351648287074682017-10-19T16:49:00.000-04:002017-10-19T16:49:29.682-04:0031 Days, 31 Horror Movies: The Return of the Fly<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6kfrDar48jQ/WekIQSOl9-I/AAAAAAAACN0/RW9q4Uc0acsnMhWfK_vIaMWppC7TJhdsgCLcBGAs/s1600/return-fly.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="383" height="200" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6kfrDar48jQ/WekIQSOl9-I/AAAAAAAACN0/RW9q4Uc0acsnMhWfK_vIaMWppC7TJhdsgCLcBGAs/s200/return-fly.jpg" width="127" /></a></div>
<b>The Return of the Fly</b><br />
A few years back I did a review of the original <i>The Fly</i> (<a href="http://digitalapocrypha.blogspot.com/2014/10/31-days-31-horror-movies-and-fear.html" target="_blank">linky</a>).
In that review I expressed my astonishment when I discovered that the
original film was in color and, indeed, a completely different film than
I had expected. I'd grown up thinking the color version was the sequel
to a much older black and white film. THAT film, as I'm sure you've
guessed, was <i>The Return of the Fly</i> - a much cheaper sequel green-lit when the original had done much better at the box office than expected.<br />
<br />
It's weird to come at this film realizing that it's a sequel, as it's
inferior in most every way to the original. Not that sequels are always
better than the original - I think the opposite is most often the case -
but I generally expect them to at least look like they were made after
the original!<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2_mmQUxXaSE/WekKmEq6ciI/AAAAAAAACOI/EYgqVWQFglg4dYzfqnvsaqvGNlAr7PzOQCLcBGAs/s1600/return-fly2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2_mmQUxXaSE/WekKmEq6ciI/AAAAAAAACOI/EYgqVWQFglg4dYzfqnvsaqvGNlAr7PzOQCLcBGAs/s400/return-fly2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Don't worry, you'll forget all about this. And grow up in black and white!"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Still, I have fond childhood memories of this movie and I tend to place it in a group with 50's sci-fi monster movies like <i>Them!</i> and <i>Tarantula</i>, movies I love and look forward to watching again and again. So let's see if this one holds up as well.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-viTU278RAWo/WekPCWflHwI/AAAAAAAACOo/14-RHQ1MEHow9v-WTAn2wgnp8v4OKUDTwCEwYBhgL/s1600/return-fly7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-viTU278RAWo/WekPCWflHwI/AAAAAAAACOo/14-RHQ1MEHow9v-WTAn2wgnp8v4OKUDTwCEwYBhgL/s400/return-fly7.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I was going to make a joke about holding things up...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<b>The Medium</b><br />
Starz again. I had fewer streaming issues this time around, but they
still occured. It was nice that Starz had a few classic horror movies,
though - I feel like they're hard to come by on streaming services.<br />
<br />
<b>The Movie </b><br />
<i>The Return of the Fly</i> is shot in black and white (though still in
Cinemascope), has only one returning cast member (Vincent Price), and
eschews the slow burn mystery for something more like a thriller or
film-noir crime picture. Fox appears to have done everything it could to
get out a sequel quickly, including use of existing sets from the first
film. (There's a scene in Andre Delambre's lab in which his message to
his wife - including the shaky "I love you" - is still visible on the
chalkboard in the background. It's particularly poignant as the scene
takes place after the funeral of Helene.)<br />
<br />
Despite having been made on the cheap - roughly half the budget of the original - <i>Return</i> didn't skimp in one important area, the presence of Vincent Price. The first two <b>Fly</b>
films (he declined to return for the third) really launched him into
the horror genre and the films he made directly after this are among the
ones he's most famous for. His part in <i>Return</i> is slightly beefed
up from the original and he appears in more scenes. His Francois
Delambre is still pretty restrained, with only a few of the extravagant
mannerisms that would make him so memorable in later films.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4Spp8SUaUJ4/WekNf77ePoI/AAAAAAAACOY/H8m37VeQ2nY8Mw4ElaZ0HTiPOapJdS6ggCLcBGAs/s1600/return-fly4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4Spp8SUaUJ4/WekNf77ePoI/AAAAAAAACOY/H8m37VeQ2nY8Mw4ElaZ0HTiPOapJdS6ggCLcBGAs/s400/return-fly4.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Chewing books more than scenery.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Young Phillipe from the first film is all grown up now, and in the
aftermath of his mother's death presses his uncle Francois for the real
story about what happened to his father. Francois actually tells him,
which seems like a bad idea. Phillipe is already pursuing his father's
research, however, and all the story does is make him more determined to
follow in his father's footsteps. Sans the unfortunate fly-head thing,
of course. Soon the young scientist is in the basement of his inherited
house, working on 'disintegration and reintegration' with a fellow
scientist, Alan Hines. After a brief bout of blackmail Francois joins
them.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Tj-V1Vxih2Y/WekKmJCq_tI/AAAAAAAACOE/KvBoLLOsvhAwz7SyEt1AgUwUJHRj5NOPACEwYBhgL/s1600/return-fly3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Tj-V1Vxih2Y/WekKmJCq_tI/AAAAAAAACOE/KvBoLLOsvhAwz7SyEt1AgUwUJHRj5NOPACEwYBhgL/s400/return-fly3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Who would ever think Vincent Price's character would be <br />the least villainous in this scene?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
These early laboratory scenes are great and remind me of Universal <i>Frankenstein</i>
films - all flashing lights, electrical noises and fancy equipment.
It's all 50's tech, of course - with reel-to-reel computer tapes, blocky
light sequences and even dark glasses that look like those used for
viewing nuclear bomb tests - but it's still got that 'mad science' feel
to it. Francois even gets to voice the classic "there are some things
man is not meant to know" line, just so we know what kind of film we're
watching.<br />
<br />
Phillipe scoffs at this, as any good scientist should Still, Francois is
right on this. There are some things man is not meant to know. What a
human being looks like with hamster hands and feet is one of those
things.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-c8ki703FBgk/WekKmDrMieI/AAAAAAAACOM/xyqbExQJv-o3D5rpeh7GDrQI3K6LLc0yACEwYBhgL/s1600/return-fly1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="255" data-original-width="600" height="170" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-c8ki703FBgk/WekKmDrMieI/AAAAAAAACOM/xyqbExQJv-o3D5rpeh7GDrQI3K6LLc0yACEwYBhgL/s400/return-fly1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">There's a part of your inner calm you won't get back.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
But I'm getting ahead of myself. First, we have a number of scenes with
increasingly successful experiments in... I'm just going to say
teleportation, because disintegration/reintegration is just too clumsy.
The three men even get as far as putting objects and animals into a
suspended state by starting the disintegration and not finishing the
second part of the process. At one point they do this to a hamster...<br />
<br />
<i>Frankenstein</i>'s message may very well be that "man should not play at being God." <i>The Return of the Fly</i>'s
message seems to be closer to "do some damn background checks on key
employees." Alan, you see, is a dirty rotten thief and is planning on
selling the secret of teleportation to the highest bidder. (For some
reason he's doing this via the middleman of a local mortician, but who
am I to judge?) When a policeman surprises Alan stealing the plans Alan
overpowers the man and temporarily 'hides' him in the teleportation
machine using the same 'start the process, don't immediately finish it'
system they'd used on the hamster earlier.<br />
<br />
You can imagine how this goes. This is actually the most horrifying bit
in the film. You wouldn't imagine that a man with the hands and feet of a
hamster would be as disturbing as it is. The hamster with the hands of a
man isn't conducive to calm nerves either. Luckily they're both
disposed of fairly quickly.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yltmvocF2Bg/WekPCc7Cy-I/AAAAAAAACOw/BFOD-BAf50Aou9FA8lZHv6TG1Nvzs-ccQCLcBGAs/s1600/return-fly6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yltmvocF2Bg/WekPCc7Cy-I/AAAAAAAACOw/BFOD-BAf50Aou9FA8lZHv6TG1Nvzs-ccQCLcBGAs/s400/return-fly6.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Not well, but quickly.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Phillipe, being no dope (except for the whole 'doing the experiments
that destroyed my family' thing) figures out what Alan is up to and
confronts him. Okay, scratch that 'not a dope' thing. Alan knocks out
Phillipe and stuffs him into one of the teleportation tubes. Then,
because Alan is nothing if not an absolute dick, he puts a fly in the
same tube. (He knows Phillipe is deathly afraid of flies, though not
why.) Then uses the same suspended disintegration trick to hide Phillip.
And the fly. If you've been wondering how they were going to somehow
get someone to wear a giant fly head again, there's your answer.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LqpcynG1x3g/WekPCVMI_5I/AAAAAAAACOs/6au9GbQpWVEVs5IohUtbjXoqOauCZzjOQCEwYBhgL/s1600/return-fly8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LqpcynG1x3g/WekPCVMI_5I/AAAAAAAACOs/6au9GbQpWVEVs5IohUtbjXoqOauCZzjOQCEwYBhgL/s400/return-fly8.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Human dickishness instead of staggering coincidence? Yeah, I buy it.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
When Phillipe is reintegrated he comes through as a half fly creature,
of course. Then he escapes and goes on a rampage. The fly head design
isn't as subtle this time around and is obviously heavy. I say obviously
because every time the actor runs or turns quickly he's forced to brace
the front of the head so it doesn't topple off his shoulders. It's
unfortunately hilarious.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cMKYzJa92l8/WekNf55cbWI/AAAAAAAACOg/6EpPT32HEQgnXQwVd7a0TehNSsGjLRh-ACEwYBhgL/s1600/return-fly5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cMKYzJa92l8/WekNf55cbWI/AAAAAAAACOg/6EpPT32HEQgnXQwVd7a0TehNSsGjLRh-ACEwYBhgL/s400/return-fly5.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">As is this.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Phillipe-fly takes his revenge (even on the mortician, who he didn't
even know was involved), Francois and a detective try and find him (and
his fly-Phillipe version) and there's a somewhat sloppy happy ending. (I
really wanted a giant fly body with Phillipe's head on it, myself.)
It's all pretty standard monster-movie stuff. That's not to say it's bad
- it's a pretty fun monster movie - it's just not at the same level as
its predecessor.<br />
<br />
<b>The Bottom Line</b><br />
While not quite the classic horror of the first film, <i>Return of the Fly</i> is slightly above other paint-by-number monster movies of the era. It's better than the film it was paired with - <i>The Alligator People</i>
- for instance. Points awarded for managing a (semi) believable reason
for getting someone to be half-human, half-fly again. You can never
overestimate the human ability to be a jerk.
Bob Cram Jrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09217460605617675931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8564922252362886970.post-26233431376689576032017-10-18T13:39:00.000-04:002017-10-18T13:39:34.277-04:0031 Days, 31 Horror Movies: Pandorum<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wsaZ18xlHyE/WeeN7PMIV0I/AAAAAAAACMw/mwzxPHEhykweuWRBwy9CvOc9i6tQRzR0gCLcBGAs/s1600/pandorum.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="445" data-original-width="316" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wsaZ18xlHyE/WeeN7PMIV0I/AAAAAAAACMw/mwzxPHEhykweuWRBwy9CvOc9i6tQRzR0gCLcBGAs/s200/pandorum.jpg" width="141" /></a></div>
<b>Pandorum</b><br />
Last night I was in the mood to watch <i>Event Horizon</i>.
Unfortunately, I've already watched it for a previous 31 Days, so I was
out of luck. There just don't seem to be enough horror/sci-fi films
around when you need them. (I'd watch the hell out of a live action <i>Dead Space</i>. I think.)<br />
<br />
Luckily, as I was perusing the movies available on Starz I happened to see that they had <i>Pandorum</i>.
It's been a few years since I watched and while I remember being
slightly underwhelmed, I also remember being impressed with the mood and
effects.<br />
<br />
<b>The Medium</b><br />
Starz streaming service. I'll be opting out after the 7 day free trial.
It's not organized well and the streaming quality has been
intermittently bad. Sometimes the film just stops or hangs and at other
times I get significant signal degradation (like a soup of moving
squares). Other streaming services don't seem to have the same issues on
the same equipment. So, while the service has some shows I want to
watch - <i>Ash vs the Evil Dead</i>, primarily - and some movies I can't find elsewhere I just don't feel like it would be worth a regular subscription. <br />
<br />
<b>The Movie</b><br />
2174 and the Earth is chock-a-block full of human beings. The recent
discovery of an Earth-like planet leads to the construction of an
enormous interstellar ship, the <i>Elysium</i>, meant to carry 60,000
humans in hypersleep/cryosleep/goopy-second-skin-sleep to their new
home. Eight years in the crew (on a rotating cycle of sleep/awake with
other crews) gets a message from Earth. "We done screwed up. Planet's
gone. You're it. Good luck." Maybe not in so many words - but that's the
gist.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-t2qEZxvNovU/WeeQxYskI9I/AAAAAAAACNQ/97dk1bSNzkc8jfdlSBjclRizxoW1KNLFACLcBGAs/s1600/pandorum5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-t2qEZxvNovU/WeeQxYskI9I/AAAAAAAACNQ/97dk1bSNzkc8jfdlSBjclRizxoW1KNLFACLcBGAs/s400/pandorum5.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Message decoded: You're fucked.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
In indeterminate amount of time later Corporal Bower (Ben Foster) is
awakened in the cold and dark, along with Lieutenant Payton (Dennis
Quaid). They're both suffering from partial amnesia, a result of an
unusually long time in hypersleep. How long, exactly, they're unable to
determine - as power surges are playing havoc with the computers and
they cannot contact the bridge.<br />
<br />
Bower heads off through the ventilation system to try and get to the
reactor and stabilize it. Payton stays to try and get into the computer
system and figure out why they're the only two members of their rotation
to awaken. Bowers is beginning to suffer the early stages of a
deep-space psychotic syndrome known as "Orbital Dysfunction Syndrome."
Also called Pandorum.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6usSs2Xys-I/WeeQwW0onAI/AAAAAAAACNc/N4tCCnXubccWnifARUhK7D9Aeh4ib77EACEwYBhgL/s1600/pandorum2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6usSs2Xys-I/WeeQwW0onAI/AAAAAAAACNc/N4tCCnXubccWnifARUhK7D9Aeh4ib77EACEwYBhgL/s400/pandorum2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Don't worry man! It gets much worse after this!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
I'm a sucker for amnesia stories in general - the who are you and what
did you do and what will you do now that you've got a clean slate sort
of thing. It's one of the reason I got sucked into <i>Dark Matter</i> (damn you SyFy for cancelling it). <i>Memento, Bourne Identity, Dark City, Total Recall</i>. Even <i>Paycheck</i>.
So just with that conceit I'm already predisposed to enjoy the film.
Add to that a grimy, dark and claustrophobic first act that treats the
ship as giant haunted house full of monsters and I'm all in.<br />
<br />
<i>Pandorum</i> doesn't manage to keep up with the promise of that first
third - morphing into more standard sci-fi action fare as Bowers meets
more survivors and the 'monsters' are revealed in brighter light as more
<i>Mad Max</i> rejects than the xenomorphs. The dark, cramped hallways
and holds give way to brighter, open areas that work better for the
action-oriented set pieces and chase sequences. Not to say it's bad -
it's quite fun, really - but it's not as oppressive and weird as it sets
out to be.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-O8o7Mxyzc3A/WeeQx50NGxI/AAAAAAAACNc/t59LmWwAFVshhD0-IIeBDy1wXNIUntpSQCEwYBhgL/s1600/pandorum6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-O8o7Mxyzc3A/WeeQx50NGxI/AAAAAAAACNc/t59LmWwAFVshhD0-IIeBDy1wXNIUntpSQCEwYBhgL/s400/pandorum6.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Witness me!"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
In fact I find myself more interested in Payton and the survivor he
finds, Corporal Gallo. Gallo claims the ship is lost in space and that
he was forced to kill his fellow crew members after they succumbed to
Pandorum. There's something more going on with the twitchy (and sketchy)
Corporal, however. We know it, and Payton knows it - leading him to
take precautions.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wA8LFrMpcvM/WeeQwxWtW6I/AAAAAAAACNc/kNlG2OFlHoombawDj2L1Fr9dmTiuvlcQwCEwYBhgL/s1600/pandorum4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wA8LFrMpcvM/WeeQwxWtW6I/AAAAAAAACNc/kNlG2OFlHoombawDj2L1Fr9dmTiuvlcQwCEwYBhgL/s400/pandorum4.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Like glaring at him in an angry way.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Bower and the two survivors that join his quest to find the reactor -
Nadia and Manh - dodge groups of the creatures (who are incredibly
difficult to kill - except when they're not) and run across yet another
survivor, Leland. Leland offers them sanctuary and food and tells them
the real story - about the message from earth, one of the crew going mad
and killing the others and then 'playing God' with the passengers
before putting himself back into hypersleep and abandoning the
passengers to time and an evolution accelerating enzyme. (Leland's also
drugged the food, because he's an opportunistic cannibal as well as a
storyteller.)<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-OQEIZH0znTc/WeeQwQvneyI/AAAAAAAACNc/qqwG4GIae14ExnDlC2xHXZYPsircG0OYACEwYBhgL/s1600/pandorum1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-OQEIZH0znTc/WeeQwQvneyI/AAAAAAAACNc/qqwG4GIae14ExnDlC2xHXZYPsircG0OYACEwYBhgL/s400/pandorum1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"I don't like this story. And the food sucks."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Things go on from there with the 'final countdown' race to the reactor, a
confrontation between Payton and Gallo that goes a way you shouldn't
expect, but probably do, and well as a final reveal that should feel
like more of a twist than it does. It wasn't quite what I expected, but
it was close enough to feel disappointing.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-efV7z85nrzo/WeeQwVkASBI/AAAAAAAACNc/vamlL0lyEBwbCH5QfoFzpmXMgsuglkiwgCEwYBhgL/s1600/pandorum3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-efV7z85nrzo/WeeQwVkASBI/AAAAAAAACNc/vamlL0lyEBwbCH5QfoFzpmXMgsuglkiwgCEwYBhgL/s400/pandorum3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"6 levels of Doom and suddenly it's figure out a puzzle time?"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<b>The Bottom Line</b><br />
It has a bunch of interesting ideas and imagery, but <i>Pandorum</i> ends up feeling both lighter and more familiar than it should. It doesn't quite scratch that Lovecraft in Space itch that <i>Event Horizon</i>
does so well, either, being more of a horror/adventure tale with some
pretty standard action beats and familiar sci-fi tropes. It's still got
plenty to recommend it, with some great set design and performances and a
story that's still enjoyable, if not ground breaking.
Bob Cram Jrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09217460605617675931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8564922252362886970.post-81459689671248782102017-10-17T16:43:00.001-04:002017-10-17T16:43:24.927-04:0031 Days, 31 Horror Movies: Jason Goes to HellI'm stumbling to the end of my Friday the 13th marathon feelling like there's a hatchet in my brain (another migraine). I made it as far as <i>Jason Goes to Hell</i> and I think - unfortunately - I'm going to take some time before watching the rest. I will watch them - but I need a break after the last two films. While I was able to find details in them that I could enjoy I can honestly say I (mostly) hated those movies, and they left a bad mental taste in my brain that is threatening to color my memory of the whole series.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-pa_JLMjhGTo/WeZnZ3NZONI/AAAAAAAACMA/g_6uGOJh_TgYBU-qdO3wdGjKwkcHdVRBACLcBGAs/s1600/friday13thpart9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="564" data-original-width="425" height="200" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-pa_JLMjhGTo/WeZnZ3NZONI/AAAAAAAACMA/g_6uGOJh_TgYBU-qdO3wdGjKwkcHdVRBACLcBGAs/s200/friday13thpart9.jpg" width="150" /></a></div>
<b><i>Jason Goes to Hell</i> (1993)</b><br />
You know, I think there's a universe where this isn't a <i>Friday the 13th</i>
movie and it's become a cult hit. Body hopping serial killer with a
magic bloodline and a character like Duke hunting him? Those crazy folks
at the diner? The gore and nudity? Yeah, this is someone's favorite
horror movie in another timeline.<br />
<br />
But not this one. <br />
<br />
Things start of promisingly enough - a return to the classic formula: a
woman heads to Crystal Lake (no longer Forest Green, I see) alone. Not a
particularly bright person, you might think - I mean, at this point the
place has got to be pretty famous. Still - this is a <i>Friday the 13th</i>
movie and this is kinda thing is to be expected. Sure enough, Jason
shows up, looking none the worse for wear since being melted in a New
York sewer. He attacks, she flees, he follows - right into an FBI
ambush. Nice try FBI guys! It's going to take more than bullets to take
down...<br />
<br />
Oh. Rocket launcher. Yeah, that uh, that seems to do the trick.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jzLWmaxX43s/WeZq0cDnMcI/AAAAAAAACMU/5qBk2cb8TH0qtSXzr5YzHx1TTo-NAhVagCLcBGAs/s1600/friday13thpart9c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jzLWmaxX43s/WeZq0cDnMcI/AAAAAAAACMU/5qBk2cb8TH0qtSXzr5YzHx1TTo-NAhVagCLcBGAs/s400/friday13thpart9c.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Well, thank God that's over. Who's up for a beer?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Well, okay, I guess we'll see where this goes. Maybe there's a cool
scene in the morgue where Jason's constituent bits all come back
together, leaving him with like a jigsaw puzzle and... ah, geez, what?
That's not sanitary doc. So the coroner eats Jason's heart and Jason
possesses him? But it's still Jason! See, there's his reflection in
the...<br />
<br />
My god, this movie. I mean, on one level I appreciate the complete
chutzpah it has, to take a well established series and just throw
everything about it out the window. To make things up out of whole
cloth. There's a Voorhees family now? And a Voorhees house that's not
the shack from <i>Part 2</i>? Is this <i>Halloween</i>?! And Jason's a body-jumping slug right out of <i>The Hidden</i>?
And mystical bloodline nonsense. And this crazy cowboy guy who trades
finger breaking for information? And the nebishy guy with the letter
jacket is the hero?<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JPIlJ8x_hLc/WeZq0FplYKI/AAAAAAAACMM/l4ysib22wskoOtu6ipuP7cs_TQNUnYHrwCEwYBhgL/s1600/friday13thpart9b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JPIlJ8x_hLc/WeZq0FplYKI/AAAAAAAACMM/l4ysib22wskoOtu6ipuP7cs_TQNUnYHrwCEwYBhgL/s400/friday13thpart9b.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">If this looks stupid to you... you're right.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
On the plus side, the gore quotient is significantly upped in this
installment. I mean, I've only seen the unrated DVD, so I imagine it was
cut a bit in the theater, but still - that whole eating the heart
scene, the poor woman who gets cut in half by a road sign, whatever the
hell that thing is that crawls out of the reporters neck. The movie gets
some points for imaginative squick, for sure.<br />
<br />
But it's just... it's such a mess. Such a weird, nonsensical mess. I
don't even care when Freddy's gloved hand appears at the end, I'm so
confused and pissed about the new 'mythology' crap. Not a good start,
New Line (who ended up with the series after Paramount saw the returns
on <i>Jason Takes Manhattan</i>). No wonder it would be 8 years before we'd get another Friday film and 10 before Jason and Freddy finally faced off.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7ABjtx_jlgM/WeZq0GmorCI/AAAAAAAACMQ/5fOB5Dcu6LYh53VQdG2Jf9yxC8JO0LlSQCEwYBhgL/s1600/friday13thpart9a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="352" data-original-width="699" height="201" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7ABjtx_jlgM/WeZq0GmorCI/AAAAAAAACMQ/5fOB5Dcu6LYh53VQdG2Jf9yxC8JO0LlSQCEwYBhgL/s400/friday13thpart9a.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">But hey, at least we got some comic books out of it. <br />Which I now need to find because I'm a masochist, apparently</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
So, yeah. I know I have two more movies in the original series and one
remake/relaunch/whatever it was, if I want to include that. It's... it's
going to be a bit before I get to them. I promise it won't be 8 years,
though.
Bob Cram Jrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09217460605617675931noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8564922252362886970.post-20851520616218681932017-10-16T18:30:00.000-04:002017-10-16T18:47:37.495-04:0031 Days, 31 Horror Movies: Friday the 13th 7 & 8 - The New Blood and Jason Takes Manhattan<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uiq5zDXeEhs/WeUtutemdGI/AAAAAAAACKk/IUmzWfUNfPsqJf6pMx3BJQWgkk1sIThJgCLcBGAs/s1600/friday13thpart7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="564" data-original-width="425" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uiq5zDXeEhs/WeUtutemdGI/AAAAAAAACKk/IUmzWfUNfPsqJf6pMx3BJQWgkk1sIThJgCLcBGAs/s200/friday13thpart7.jpg" width="150" /></a></div>
<b><i>Friday the 13th Part 7: The New Blood </i>(1988)</b><br />
<b> </b>So, full disclosure, I hated this movie when I first saw it. That was
probably 1989 or '90, as I know I didn't see it in the theater. For the
longest time I refused to watch it again, that's how much I'd hated the
experience. I didn't watch <i>Jason Takes Manhattan</i> or <i>Jason Goes to Hell</i> in part because I remembered disliking <i>The New Blood</i> so much. (I suppose I should be thankful on that count.)<br />
<br />
So when I finally got around to re-watching it a couple of years ago I
was astonished. What the hell was my problem? It was the same movie -
Jason vs Carrie, essentially - but my experience of it and reaction to
it was completely different. It's still not my favorite, but man - I
couldn't tell you why I'd had such a visceral reaction to it back then.<br />
<br />
Critics called this film "Jason vs Carrie" and it kinda does feel like they got Stephen King to pen a <i>Friday the 13th</i>
movie. Traumatic childhood incident where a girl, Tina, uses her
burgeoning psychic abilities to accidentally kill her father. Ten years
later overbearing establishment figure bent on using (now teenage) girls
abilities to further his own career/agenda brings her back to the
scene. Protective mother figure is blind to what's really going on until
it's too late. Escalating emotional stress exacerbated by adolescence, a
budding relationship and torment by peers leads to a final
confrontation where psychic girl kills everyone in a pyrotechnic display
of her powers.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-j3rxsk9jwUg/WeUvwsUGaPI/AAAAAAAACK0/alTsYcOutLY-YPMjObUJD6ctgQ15xrt4QCLcBGAs/s1600/friday13thpart7a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-j3rxsk9jwUg/WeUvwsUGaPI/AAAAAAAACK0/alTsYcOutLY-YPMjObUJD6ctgQ15xrt4QCLcBGAs/s400/friday13thpart7a.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"I'm doing this? I'M DOING THIS? With my MIND?"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Actually, wait - no, it's Jason who kills everybody and HE's the one on the receiving end of the pyrotechnics.<br />
<br />
This movie features my favorite Jason design, with rotting flesh,
exposed spine, chain around the neck and gooey fluids. This is Kane
Hodder's first outing as Jason and he's just great, with excellent
physicality and various head movements and ticks that - pardon the pun -
really bring Jason to life. His background in stunts and willingness to
do whatever it takes to get the shot also serves the film well in the
final third, when Tina starts kicking Jason's ass six ways to Sunday.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-FW9xANySxpE/WeUvxflkYqI/AAAAAAAACK8/VT4HEkqGzpcK9eWpV0NVe-TjTxrAKS6HgCEwYBhgL/s1600/friday13thpart7e.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-FW9xANySxpE/WeUvxflkYqI/AAAAAAAACK8/VT4HEkqGzpcK9eWpV0NVe-TjTxrAKS6HgCEwYBhgL/s400/friday13thpart7e.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dude! That's his SPINE! So. Cool.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
My main complaint about the film at this point is that the teenagers and
the kills are pretty boring. We get stabbings and impalements and head
crushings, but they're not very... well, exciting. This film also
suffered at the hands of the MPAA, being sent back 9 times (as with <i>Part 6</i>).
As a result it too is fairly bloodless, with lots of kills cut away
from at the last minute. It's too bad, as the director, John Carl
Beuchler, was actually a special effects guy first. I understand quite a
bit of the original gore was excised - including a rotting father from
the end sequence. We do get some gooey Jason shots, including what looks
like pus and brains leaking from his head as Tina constricts his mask.
There's also a hilarious attack when Jason picks up a camper in a
sleeping bag and swings them against a tree. (Reminding me of an even
more ridiculous attack in <i>Prophecy </i>- the skinless bear one, not the Christopher Walken one.)<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nZL7zUBX9pg/WeUvwxG_2qI/AAAAAAAACK4/MWcNTly488Y6iPSzinoR__U4g1L4xgAZgCEwYBhgL/s1600/friday13thpart7d.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nZL7zUBX9pg/WeUvwxG_2qI/AAAAAAAACK4/MWcNTly488Y6iPSzinoR__U4g1L4xgAZgCEwYBhgL/s400/friday13thpart7d.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I don't have a good screencap of the sleeping bag scene, so... uh, here's this.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Things really get going for me when Tina and Jason finally square off,
because this is really the first time Jason has had a foe that can
actually take him on. And Tina can - she electrocutes him, hits him with
lights, tvs and someone's severed head, she strangles him, crushes him,
drops him through the floor and then sets him on fire. Then she escapes
while the house blows up around him. This is all pretty epic and a
fantastic tour-de-force of a final girl fight. It's not, y'know, ENOUGH
to kill Jason, but damn does she give it the old college try.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0Ps00DEnNjs/WeUvwvJy8cI/AAAAAAAACKw/xESgqt81p3ckJnquwrTvRe22cWLKNk3EwCEwYBhgL/s1600/friday13thpart7c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0Ps00DEnNjs/WeUvwvJy8cI/AAAAAAAACKw/xESgqt81p3ckJnquwrTvRe22cWLKNk3EwCEwYBhgL/s400/friday13thpart7c.jpg" width="400" /> </a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0T0c-4ruPL8/WeUvwjmCqWI/AAAAAAAACKs/havBZTMmVYskDL_1t-oxwz9Lv2X-nG_oACEwYBhgL/s1600/friday13thpart7b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0T0c-4ruPL8/WeUvwjmCqWI/AAAAAAAACKs/havBZTMmVYskDL_1t-oxwz9Lv2X-nG_oACEwYBhgL/s400/friday13thpart7b.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
And then Tina resurrects her dad to grab Jason and drag him under water.
And suddenly I remember why I hated this movie so much. Schlubby
McWifeslapper is brought back from the dead to save the day by taking
out Jason? HE'S WEARING A CARDIGAN. Guys who wear cardigans should not
be the ones to take down Jason - even if they're summoned back from the
dead by their psychic kids.<br />
<br />
Tina and her new boyfriend survive - continuing the trend of "final girl
plus one" from the previous film. I kinda wonder if Tina is still out
there, ready to take Jason on again. There needs to be like a big <i>Expendables</i> style team-up of all the Friday the 13th final girls where they hunt Jason down and beat the crap out of him.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AHDHUQvWOwA/WeUtzJjEpMI/AAAAAAAACKo/LT5eqHtZPy83BMm8edYituXu5FYSYOFqwCLcBGAs/s1600/friday13thpart8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="404" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AHDHUQvWOwA/WeUtzJjEpMI/AAAAAAAACKo/LT5eqHtZPy83BMm8edYituXu5FYSYOFqwCLcBGAs/s200/friday13thpart8.jpg" width="134" /></a></div>
<b><i>Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan</i> (1989)</b> <br />
Okay, to be honest, I'm kinda losing steam here, and this and the next
film are going to suffer in the review department as a result.<br />
<br />
Jason gets on a boat, kills a bunch of teenagers, follows the survivors
to New York and then gets turned into a little kid by toxic waste. I'm
not kidding. <br />
<br />
I've only seen this film once before and I'll give the film this - it's
not as cheap-looking as I remember it being. It's still got all the
ambiance of a first-season <i>X-Files</i> episode (also shot in and
around Vancouver), but the ship has some production value and not all
the rooms look like soap opera sets. The teenagers are the least
likeable bunch of victims in a <i>Friday the 13th</i> movie so far, but
at least they make an effort to protect themselves, arming up once they
realize the danger. It doesn't help, of course. It never does.<br />
<br />
Did you know Crystal Lake connects to the ocean? Me either - not
something they promote in the brochures. Still, that's how Jason gets on
the boat.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JN6QBUTo1Vg/WeUx6Os_ROI/AAAAAAAACLA/eIH_mA4q12cOxFbdr-0UbSFRUQ31BgUtwCLcBGAs/s1600/friday13thpart8b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JN6QBUTo1Vg/WeUx6Os_ROI/AAAAAAAACLA/eIH_mA4q12cOxFbdr-0UbSFRUQ31BgUtwCLcBGAs/s400/friday13thpart8b.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"I heard it was a singles cruise..."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Kane Hodder is back as Jason, so at least we have that - not that he
gets a lot to do. The kills are pretty anemic and Jason suddenly has
magic powers (other than constantly coming back from the dead). He can
teleport now - bebopping around a dance floor and instantly appearing at
the top of a ladder. Also his child ghost is haunting the main
character, whose name I can't really be bothered to remember or look up.
This ghost looks like it was played by three or four different kids
over the course of the film and I couldn't tell you why he appears,
exactly. Maybe it's supposed to be a flashback for... crap, okay, I'm
looking it up... Rennie, right - a flashback to Rennie's childhood
almost-drowning on Crystal Lake.<br />
<br />
Yeah, Rennie's guardian, uncle Charles "Complete Asshole" McCullough
threw her in the lake as child, even though she couldn't swim. That's
why she's afraid of the water. Also maybe drowned child Jason tried to
kill her back then. I dunno.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Vbhcd9-2O0A/WeUx6e7Ay2I/AAAAAAAACLI/CzJp5pIKAHEVauT4-AhukNTR8pR2u8JCACEwYBhgL/s1600/friday13thpart8a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Vbhcd9-2O0A/WeUx6e7Ay2I/AAAAAAAACLI/CzJp5pIKAHEVauT4-AhukNTR8pR2u8JCACEwYBhgL/s400/friday13thpart8a.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Which is why I'm not sad when he gets the Toxic Avenger treatment.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Jason goes about murdering teens as usual, though several people get
drowned off-screen by doing what the English teacher tells them to do.
(There's the one lesson you can take from this movie - the advice of
English teachers can get you killed. That's true in Call of Cthulhu as
well, by the way.) Rennie, Charles, English Teacher, un-named boyfriend
and Julius (whose name I only remember because of the one cool scene
later on) escape the boat and end up in New York. Which is apparently
Times Square and an endless series of alleyways out of a Troma movie.
There are druggies and would-be rapists that rob and separate them.
Jason is the good guy in one scene, which is weird. Julius and Jason
have a boxing match on the roof, which is fun as hell and the highlight
of the film for me. (It doesn't go well for Julius.)<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jQSyQcVnkIw/WeUyn-u5_UI/AAAAAAAACLM/ZfAPs781r7kkY8d4vMXAB31bk_DY6WoEACLcBGAs/s1600/julius-jason-punch.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="252" data-original-width="448" height="225" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jQSyQcVnkIw/WeUyn-u5_UI/AAAAAAAACLM/ZfAPs781r7kkY8d4vMXAB31bk_DY6WoEACLcBGAs/s400/julius-jason-punch.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Okay, that's a really good shot."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Jason chases Rennie and unnamed boyfriend onto the subway and in the
most egregious move in a movie full of egregious moves Jason walks
through a series of subway cars and DOESN'T KILL ANYONE. Not a single
person. Not so much as a bunch of screams and blood hitting the windows.
This... this offends me, somehow. This should have been a centerpiece, a
monumental piece of bloody carnage that would culminate with a crowd of
screaming, bloody people erupting from the subway entrance to be
followed by Jason into Times Square.<br />
<br />
Instead he just walks through, comes up the stairs and - so rude - kicks
a gangs boombox. And scares them by showing them his face.<br />
<br />
That moment when Jason looks around and the camera shows us that he's
really standing in Times Square is pretty cool. It's like 30 seconds of
time. Jason doesn't take Manhattan. He walks through it, quickly.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4EWCOgXWTUA/WeUx6IunAqI/AAAAAAAACLE/aQCP-Ijpf8kbgdkvbOel6styCaZM9QnmwCEwYBhgL/s1600/friday13thpart8c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="600" height="232" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4EWCOgXWTUA/WeUx6IunAqI/AAAAAAAACLE/aQCP-Ijpf8kbgdkvbOel6styCaZM9QnmwCEwYBhgL/s400/friday13thpart8c.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Hey, it's Jason! Jason's in Manhattan everybody! Oh... is it done already?"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Rennie and unnamed boyfriend find themselves in the sewer. Which floods
with toxic waste every night at midnight. I don't know if this is a nod
to <i>CHUD</i> or just what the screenwriter thinks really happens in
New York. Some running occurs. Jason finally kills a guy. Toxic waste
floods the sewers and the stupidest looking Jason makeup ever melts away
to reveal... a kid in his underwear.<br />
<br />
Rennie, unnamed boyfriend and dog I forgot to mention earlier survive.<br />
<br />
I don't... I just... I can't.
Bob Cram Jrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09217460605617675931noreply@blogger.com0