31 Days, 31 Horror Movies - the Book!

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31 Days, 31 Horror Movies: Pitch Black

Ran out of time today, which you probably can't tell from how LONG I ramble, but the general randomness of the ramble might be a better indicator. Anyway.

My wife and I wanted to watch something together last night, so my initial leaning towards something gory and tasteless was right out. (Moe doesn't mind gore - she loves The Walking Dead and John Carpenter's The Thing - but tasteless gore is a no-go.) I tried to sell her on The Legend of Hell House ("It's got Roddy McDowall in it. And it's PG!"), but the title alone evokes a certain type of film she just wasn't in the mood for.

There was one movie in the stack of offerings that she couldn't believe I hadn't watched for 31 Days, though, which is how we ended up watching:

Pitch Black (2000)

Pitch Black is a bit of an edge case as to whether it counts as horror or not. The first two thirds of the movie are more sci-fi/disaster/thriller. For me, though, that last third - when the suns finally go down and the true denizens of the planet erupt into the dark - that's full-on horror. In fact, when I went to see the movie in the theater (and I can't believe it's been 17 years since it came out) I thought I was going to see a horror movie. I based that assumption solely on one scene in the trailer - the only scene I remember from it - the one with the guy by himself in the dark with a flickering flame. He takes a swig of alcohol and blows the spray into the flame, causing a brief flare of light... and revealing the horde of monstrosities just waiting around him in the dark.

Yeah, that's what sold me on it.

Wait for it...

I wasn't disappointed in what I got. In fact, I remember being fairly impressed with the cinematography (the use of different filters was something I hadn't seen much of before), the effects, the acting and the humor. And the monsters.

The Medium

I have the 2011 "Riddick Collection" Blu-ray, which contains Pitch Black and The Chronicles of Riddick. It also includes the Chronicles of Riddick: Dark Fury animated film (by Aeon Flux animator Peter Chung), but only on DVD. I've watched both films in this set and the video quality is great, with lots of color, detail and clarity. I'd say the effects on Pitch Black still look decent, which isn't a given for a 17 year old, low-budget sci-film.

We watched the Director's Cut, which contains roughly 3 minutes of expanded footage. I have no idea what this extra footage entails, I'm just generally inclined to watch the extended version of a film, given the option. This isn't always the best course of action (hello Exorcist), but it certainly didn't affect our viewing this time around.

The Movie

A spaceship carrying cargo and passengers in cryosleep runs afoul of a rogue comet and has to crash land on an apparently lifeless planet. The few remaining passengers and crew must deal with harsh conditions, minimal supplies and the presence of a violent criminal. And that's before they find out WHY the planet seems lifeless.

It's because there are no bars. It's strictly BYOB.

The disaster that sets off the events of the movie is violent and terrifying - I vaguely remember muttering 'holy shit' in the theater as pieces of the ship came off during the landing. The damn ship is a brick, never meant to fly, and that anyone survives seems a damn miracle.

But survive they do - at least some of them. No thanks to the docking pilot, Carolyn Fry (Radha Mitchell), who attempts to jettison the passenger sections to stabilize the ship. Her copilot prevents her from committing mass murder, but ends up dying in the crash. In the absence of any other surviving crew the other survivors mistake her for the captain.

In a disaster movie, the external threat is usually magnified by internal conflict and Pitch Black immediately gives us that in spades with the presence of Riddick (Vin Diesel), a gravely-voiced killer with 'shine job' eyes that let him see in the dark. Though he starts out as a prisoner of Johns (Cole Hauser), it's not long before he's loose, ratcheting up the tension as the survivors look for supplies and a way off the desert world they've found themselves on.

Also there's three suns. And a distinct bow to it.

I think I was more familiar with Cole Hauser and Keith David than any of the other actors when Pitch Black came out. Diesel has gone on to plenty of fame with the Fast and the Furious series, of course, but at that point in time I'd probably have recognized him as the voice of the Iron Giant before anything else. Mitchell has also gone on to do more horror fare, with roles in Silent Hill, the remake of Romero's The Crazies and one of my favorite giant croc movies, Rogue. They all do good work in the film - as does Claudia Black as a tough-as-nails prospector and Rhiana Griffith as a kid who's a little too impressed with Riddick's badass routine.

And hairstyle.

When one of the survivors goes missing Riddick is initially blamed, but it quickly becomes clear that there's something else on the planet with them. Something that's hungry. In the face of that greater threat Johns offers Riddick a deal. Help them get off the planet and he'll let Riddick go free.

All the cat-and-mouse games between Riddick and Johns, the moral struggles between Frey and Johns - that was all intense and suspenseful when I first saw the movie. Once you know the twists of the plot and the real danger it's not as much fun, nor as suspenseful. Don't get me wrong, it's still a good movie, I just found myself waiting. Waiting for it to get dark.

And waiting for all this sexual tension to go somewhere.

The planetary eclipse is still an amazing visual, that huge, dark, ringed planet rising up over the horizon, moving inexorably to cover the suns, leaving the survivors in the dark for the first time since crashing. That's one of my favorite parts of the movie.

It's better on a big screen, I promise.

And then the monsters come out. They're a good design and the CGI (though maybe a little stiff and shiny) is decent enough to sell it most of the time. One on one they're bad enough, but the movie makes sure we know there are thousands - if not millions - of them. And they only thing they're afraid of is light, which is a finite resource for our small (and rapidly dwindling) group of survivors.

With no other options and no way of knowing how long the eclipse will last, the group decide on a desperate journey through the dark to a waiting escape craft (found earlier and requiring batteries from the downed ship). So they set off with a few light sources, the batteries, and each other. They're not all going to make it.

'Cause this guy's out there too.

There's a moment near the end where Johns and Riddick have moved ahead of the others - Johns is doing his best to convince Riddick to use the survivors as bait, or more accurately, like chum behind a boat. Frey, picking up on what's being discussed, has the other survivors slow down, giving them more space. When the inevitable confrontation happens and Johns and Riddick go at each other she gives the others the order to run. The two men have become as much a danger to them as the monsters they're supposed to be afraid of.

I remember reading a review a while back that said that over the course of the movie Riddick finds his humanity while Johns loses his. I don't really feel like that's the case. Johns is merely pretending to be a decent human being and Riddick is pretending to be a soulless monster. Johns is honest only with himself, while Riddick tells anyone that will listen that he's a murderer and that they would all be better off if they just killed him. It's telling to me that he ends the movie without the glasses he's been wearing for most of it. Even if his character turn feels a little fast there at the end.

"I see... at least two sequels..."

The Bottom Line

Pitch Black spawned two sequels, mostly on the strength of Vin Deisel's investment in the character of Richard B. Riddick. I prefer to think of Pitch Black as a stand-alone film, though. My enjoyment of it is enhanced by Riddick, but not defined by him. The sequels - which mostly leave horror behind and which I enjoy in decreasing amounts - expand on a universe and a character that I didn't have that great an interest in and which feel unnecessary to my enjoyment of the original.

I did enjoy the video games, though!

31 Days, 31 Horror Movies: Holidays

Once I'd decided to watch Tales of Halloween I found myself casting about for another anthology film to add to the theme. I hadn't decided I was going to be quite as specific as I ended up being, I just wanted another anthology film. I couldn't bring myself to watch V/H/S: Viral or The ABC's of Death, given how many warnings I'd been given about each. Then Netflix decided to recommend this movie called Holidays . With Netflix's newer rating system giving me precious little to go on, I decided to give it a shot.

Holidays (2016)

There was definitely a time in the 80's where it felt like no holiday would go untouched by horror's black and bloody brush. We had Halloween and Friday the 13th. There was Black Christmas and New Year's Evil. April Fool's Day, My Bloody Valentine, and even Mother's Day. I think that's why I so appreciated Eli Roth's contribution to the faux trailers added to Grindhouse - Thanksgiving. It hit all the right notes regarding those slasher flicks of old and is still my favorite thing Roth has done.

So it's something of a surprise that no one has actually done a holiday themed horror anthology before. (And now is the part where someone tells me about all the holiday themed horror anthologies I've missed or forgotten.) It seems like a no-brainer, really. Oh, I know there have been segments - Creepshow's "Father's Day" being a standout - I just figured someone else would have made an entire film based around them.

The Medium

Streaming on Netflix. My budget is limited this year, so there'll be a lot of films available on streaming or from the personal collection. There's a DVD release, but no Blu-ray, so streaming is probably the highest quality you'll see this film.

The Film

There is no framing sequence or linking characters/audio in Holidays at all. Sometimes I find those things tedious or distracting, but when they're absent I wonder what kind of frame the films could have had.  In this case I think it's probably best not to have one, as I'm not sure what could have linked these extremely disparate stories. The theme will have to do, and the filmmakers tackle each holiday in calendar order.

"Valentine's Day"

A girl on the swim team is bullied by a classmate while pining for her coach, who has his own problems. A standard plot with a violent punch line is somewhat lifted by good cinematography and loopy daydream sequences as Maxine contemplates her coach. The humor in Holidays is quite a bit darker and less... fun, I guess, than that in Tales of Halloween.

"You choo-choo-choose me! And there's a picture of a train..."

"St. Patrick's Day"

          A school teacher who desperately wants children takes an interest in a new student. The strange little girl weaves a grass snake for her teacher and leaves a note saying "only your deepest wish can make me smile." After a night of St. Patrick's Day debauchery, she finds herself pregnant - however it's not, exactly, the child she was hoping for. I liked this one for most of it, having a distinctly weird and off-kilter mood, but it's let down by an ending that was significantly more light-hearted and goofy than the rest of it.

That is absolutely NOT what I thought it was at first.

"Easter"

I think it's difficult to make an Easter-themed film that's really horrifying, but this actually manages it. Stephen King tells a story (and I can't remember if it was in Danse Macabre or one of his introductions) about his childhood fear of something called a "Twinight Double Header." A two head monstrosity he conjured up after hearing adults talking about couple of night-time baseball games. In "Easter" a young girl meets the mix-up of an Easter Bunny and Jesus (after asking her mother about how both related to Easter), and holy hell is that a disturbing image. There's not really much to the story itself, but the image of a rabbit-headed Christ demanding a child touch his stigmata is one that's going to linger.

Just go back to bed. We'll all be happier if you don't see anything else.

"Mother's Day"

I think a lot of the filmmakers in this anthology took the 'comedy' part of 'dark comedy' as more of a suggestion than a rule. This story of a woman who gets pregnant every time she has sex goes to some dark places and is (mostly) played straight. I didn't like it much, but it's internally consistent and has some interesting visuals.

Worst. Grateful Dead concert. Ever.

"Father's Day"

By far my favorite of the bunch. A young woman (House of the Devil's Jocelin Donahue) receives a tape and tape recorder from her father - who she has thought long-dead. She follows the taped instructions - much of the film involves her walking through weirdly abandoned urban landscapes while her father's voice speaks to her from tape. It's eerie and interesting and has a great sense of looming doom and sadness. The ending is unclear, but I have my suspicions. Glad I watched the movie for this section alone.

"Halloween"

*sigh* And then there's this, the worst of the bunch. I think Kevin Smith is generally a better filmmaker than this story, which features a group of cam girls getting revenge on their pimp/employer.

"Christmas"

This is actually more what I expected from 'dark comedy,' and comes the closest to emulating the more 'fun' mood of Tales of Halloween. A harried dad (Seth Green) is out looking for the big gift of the season, a set of VR glasses that show you content based on your online profile and personality. He's too late, as another guy has bought the last pair. When that guy has a heart attack the dad momentarily thinks about calling 911, before simply stealing the glasses. Of course the glasses are a bit more than advertised... Very much in the Tales From the Crypt sort of style. Fun, without making much of an impression.

"Oh God, it really does have my browser history!"

"New Year's Eve"

Two lonelyhearts swipe right on each other and meet for a New Year's Eve date. Of course from the opening sequence we know the guy is a serial killer, so... Your basic 'ironic comeuppance' tale, but decent enough. I did laugh out loud at the 'twist,' even though I saw it coming from the first minute.

This is actually how I think all online dating hookups end.

The Bottom Line

Holidays isn't as much fun as Tales of Halloween, but it does have more moments of genuine horror (and generally a much higher level of acting/production value). If I had to choose, I'd probably go with Tales, as it's way more fun (I should stop using that word) and would probably be easier to watch again. That being said, I did love "Father's Day" a lot. And that Easter Christ Bunny is going to stay with me for a while. *shudder*

The Bottom Bottom Line
I didn't enjoy either Tales of Halloween or Holidays as much as I did Trick 'r Treat, but I DID enjoy them.

31 Days, 31 Horror Movies: Tales of Halloween

October! It couldn't come fast enough for me this year. I generally look forward to the "Month of Halloween," but it's been a crappy year overall, and I've attached way more anticipation and expectation to 31 Days than I probably should have. You can't put that much on a month and have it all turn out well - so I'm trying to temper things now that the blessed event is actually here.

But instead of taking things easy and watching one film to start off, I decided Sunday still counts as the weekend and am jumping in with a themed double-feature! So without further ado:

Dark Comedy Anthologies With a Holiday Theme

There are generally two types of horror anthologies (to make a gross generalization). The type that takes both the genre and the tales it tells with utter seriousness (I'm thinking Trilogy of Terror or V/H/S) and the type that approaches the genre with tongue firmly in cheek (like Trick 'r Treat or Creepshow). My preference between the two depends on my mood at the time, but if I had to choose I'd probably come down on the side of the anthologies that include a sense of humor. I'm not sure I can articulate why, beyond the fact that I loved reading old horror comics when I was a kid and they generally had a wicked sense of humor to them.

Tales of Halloween (2015)

I can't remember who first recommended this film - probably Calliope towards the end of 2015's thread. I know it's been mentioned several times since, and it's been on my list since 2015. Somehow, I've never gotten around to it. When it popped up on Netflix months ago I actually made myself wait on it, with the hope of watching it for this thread. Yay for self-control!

The Format

As mentioned, it's streaming on Netflix. It looks pretty good , but the cinematography isn't such that you'd need a higher quality presentation. I do think I'm going to have to find the Blu-ray, though, for the extras. (Including some additional short films, including an early one by Neil Marshall.)

The Film

There's no real framing sequence for Tales of Halloween, but the pieces are connected - they all take place in the same town and the voice of Adrienne Barbeau (reprising Stevie from The Fog? I like to think so) as the local radio DJ is often heard in the background. Some characters also appear in multiple stories, often in the background. This isn't as tight as, say, Trick 'r Treat, but it's fun to pick out the various repeat characters and guess where this puts each piece in the timeline.

"Sweet Tooth"
An urban legend about a child with an... all-consuming love of sweets, turns out to be more than just a legend. It's just okay and is really more of a one-note horror joke than a real story. It's nicely gory, although the effects are pretty low-budget. I was a little worried about the movie at this point, because I expect the initial story in an anthology to set the tone, and this was a little lower quality than I had expected. It wasn't bad, just a bit threadbare.

I told you candy would rot your teeth!

"The Night Billy Raised Hell"

Now I'm starting to get an idea of how this is going to go. This is actually one of my favorite pieces, with a 'trick' on a neighbor going horribly wrong for one Halloween-loving kid. Barry Bostwick is hilarious as the 'devilish' neighbor and most of the fun in is his expressions and various mannerisms. I found the fun to be a little let down by the over-use of sound effects and generally broad humor, but it's still a standout.

Second most gratuitous use of Adrianne Curry in a film.

 

"Trick"

I wanted to like this one more than I did. The beginning is promising, with a lot of unexpected violence and the sense that all of the kids in town have gone mad. Things aren't quite what they seem however, though you might be forgiven if you're confused as to what's really going on. The effects and the production are flat and cheesy and visually confusing. There's something there, but it seems half-baked.

"The Weak and the Wicked"

Another half-developed idea that seems rushed. I like the characters and the basic premise has a long pedigree (a demon summoned for revenge), but parts seem to go on too long (the chase) and other parts don't last long enough to satisfy (the end). This is also the least humorous segment - or if it's trying to be funny, it fails.

"I was told this was a sequel to Donny Darko."

"Grim Grinning Ghost"

Really, these are all just vignettes so far. They're short, with a limited plot, characterization and time frame. This is another bog-standard idea - the thing that follows you that you must not look at. The acting is fine and I like the framing and cinematography better than most of the other stories. I also laughed at how they managed to get the main character to lose her car AND her phone - two things that would have severely truncated an already short story.

"Ding Dong"

Things really start to improve with this one. The humor - though very broad - is more wicked and on point. (Particularly the kid dressed as Hansel.) Pollyanna McIntosh is a little too cartoonish in her role as a woman who REALLY wants kids in the worst way (And holy cow is this vastly different than her Walking Dead role), but overall this works for me as a piece better than some of the previous bits.

Just me and my wife on Halloween, greeting the trick or treaters...

"This Means War"

A bit of a step back. Another vignette with a thin premise - modern horror vs classic horror in a literal fight to the death over yard decorating. It's... fine, I guess. Some fun bits. Doesn't overstay it's welcome at least. John Skipp is one of the directors.

"Friday the 31st"

Over the top, but in the most entertaining way. A lot of fun taking the premise of the disfigured serial killer (in the Jason vein) and the final girl and adding some alien abduction and splatstick comedy. I enjoyed the hell out of this segment, even if the humor remains very much of the loud guffaw variety. I actually wish this segment was a bit longer and was disappointed that it was over.

I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest never dressing as the 'slutty' version of a beloved
movie character. It's just asking to be in a slasher flick.

"The Ransom of Rusty Rex"

Two hapless loser kidnap the wrong rich kid. I enjoyed this one as well and - despite some slapstick - it's one of the more restrained stories. Awesome cameo by John Landis and good work by Sam Witwer and Jose Pablo Cantillo anchor the shenanigans. Witwer in particular has fun with his role and has great expressions.

"Bad Seed"

Super fun, and my favorite of the bunch. Playing with the cop thriller tropes and the super-silly 'animated vegetable' sub-genre. This one is written and directed by Neil Marshall and - while still being super-low-budget - manages to squeeze quite a bit of what little money they had. This is another piece I wish had been a bit longer. Had the most laughs for me.

"Nobody move! All you gourds are suspects in a murder investigation!"

The Bottom Line

I think I expected more of Tales of Halloween than it could reasonably provide - I'd been hearing about it and thinking about watching it for too long and my mind made it into something it couldn't live up to. The segments suffer from being very short and very low budget, but its exuberant sense of humor makes it enjoyable despite that. You get the sense that everyone involved was having a good time and definitely getting into the Halloween spirit.  It's fun, and overall is a decent addition to the list of horror anthologies.


FYI - looking like I might not get to watch AND write up the second film, so look for Holidays tomorrow.

31 Days, 31 Horror Movies VII: The Sequel to the First Film That Ignores the Previous Sequels

It's back! For the last several years I've used October as a personal Horror Film Festival, trying to make sure I watch a horror movie a day and then - because I'm not that bright - I try and write a little bit about it.

The first few years I did this as a thread on Rpg.net - a gaming site and messageboard that I've been a member of for a long time. A couple of years ago I started cross-posting here as well, and I'm doing it again this year! (Did I mention I wasn't that bright?)

So! The rules are back to basics this year, after spending much of last year watching recommended films.

1. It’s got to be a horror movie (straight sci-fi, thrillers and mysteries are generally out, though rules are made to be broken).
2. I have to watch one a day, but I might not get to write it up for a day or two.
3. No set watch-list. I’ll decide that day what I’ll watch (and I’ll take recommendations under consideration). The only exception is if I get an itching for a particular film and I don’t currently have access – I’ll plan around when I can rent/borrow/buy it.
4. I'm planning to do theme weekends again this year. Creature Feature is the staple, and we'll see what we can come up with for the others (last year we did New Zealand Horror Comedies as well as 80's Werewolf Movies.)
5. Probably should go without saying, but there are bound to be spoilers galore.

As always, these won’t be critical reviews for the most part – just rambling thoughts (though some critique may sneak in).

Should have the first reviews (it's a weekend, so it'll be a themed double feature) up later today!

31 Days, 31 Horror Movies: Nosferatu (1979)

My love for Dracula waxes and wanes like the phases of the moon and this tidal response extends to the media surrounding the character. Some days I want nothing more than to dig out Leslie Klinger's New Annotated Dracula and get lost in the combination of the novel and the in-setting footnotes. Other days the conceit wears on me and the novel itself feels overlong and tiresome. The Universal Dracula is the same way - it's comforting and fun, or staid and boring, all depending on how I'm feeling at the time. Other monster characters don't seem to engender the same issues - I can enjoy Frankenstein at almost any time, for instance, whether it's a James Whale movie or Young Frankenstein - the concept and the characters don't run hot and cold for me.

Yeah, this is a long-winded way of saying I didn't enjoy Nosferatu as much as I expected to. The first time I watched Werner Herzog's Nosferatu I loved it - the visuals, the mood, Kinski's performance, it was all working for me. I liked the exaggerated, stylized acting and the nods (and occasional outright homage) to the original Nosferatu. In short, I was a fan, and I approached watching it again with some anticipation.

Fortunately I didn't have to wait as long as these folks.

Unfortunately, I was just not in the right place at all. I had planned to rewatch Murnau's original to get ready, but I ended up fast-forwarding through it to simply catch the highlights. I could tell when the Herzog's film started, with its long, slow shots of mummified corpses, that I wasn't going to be able to settle down and enjoy it this time around. I briefly thought about watching something else, but I hadn't left myself enough time. So, perhaps keep it in mind if you read the review.  

The Medium

Streaming on Amazon. Widescreen and in good quality. (Their version of the original Murnau film is not in such good shape, unfortunately.)

The Movie

The plot should be familiar enough - Jonathan Harker travels to Transylvania to meet with Count Dracula. Count buys property in the same city Harker lives in (Dresden, I think) and brings death and rats with him when he comes. The plot is not really the thing in this movie, however. Herzog focuses on visuals and mood, to the extent that the story is really on notable for the changes it makes to the inspiring text. Particularly to the character of Lucy, who is much more of a pro-active force in this version (and supplants the character of Mina from the text), as well as the character of Van Helsing - who, in this version, is a doddering pedant whose slavish devotion to science means Lucy is on her own in dealing with Dracula.

Don't freak out! You're way more capable than any of the men in this film.

And then, of course, there's Dracula himself - played with feral intensity by Klaus Kinski. His Count is both more animalistic and somehow more sympathetic and almost tragic - though it teeters on the edge of being pathetic instead. Certainly his hollow-eyed gaze seems constantly on the edge of tears, except when there is blood to be had. This is probably my favorite role for Kinski, and he manages to pull off being a monster with at least the memory of humanity.

"I really want to see Stranger Things, but we don't get Netflix up here."

The imagery is fantastic, with Harker's trip to Castle Dracula being a standout - looming mountains, cascading streams hemmed in by moss-slicked cliffs and sunsets that come on too quickly and yet also seem to last forever. Early on a gypsy man says that the Castle isn't even real, that it's a ruin and those who go through the gates enter a dreamworld, and this is reinforced by contrasting the fairly intact interiors of the castle with a completely ruined exterior shot. The rats infest every later scene in the film, forming a living, writhing background for the decay of the city. I do still love the nods to Murnau's film, especially the shadow of the count moving in strange ways along the walls. There's also a scene in which Dracula moves through the deserted streets at night, almost skipping. It's really the only time he seems almost happy. It's disturbing.

It's a picnic! Just ignore the coffins and the rats. Oh, and the plague.

Unfortunately for me, the stilted and stylized acting and direction grated this time around. Isabelle Adjani as Lucy is particularly arch. I think she's probably the truest to the original in action and intent, but it's too much - at least in this viewing. Even the music cues seemed ill-timed or chosen poorly. I'd much prefer an actual score that went with the action. The interiors are shot dimly and with a flat lighting that contrasts sharply with the rich exterior shooting and I found myself longing for some depth in those scenes. Scenes in general seem to drag on too long, with too little happening in them to maintain interest. These are things that didn't bother me the first time I watched the film, but seemed to wear on me during this viewing.

Watch the hands, buster! And if you could make this scene like 10 minutes shorter...

The Bottom Line

I hate to undercut myself, but I urge you to attempt to see Nosferatu. It's an art-film horror movie, with a stylized presentation meant to mimic and expand on the German expressionist film it's based on, and at that it succeeds admirably. You may need to brace yourself for a certain lack of pacing and a focus on image over story, but if you're in the right mood it can be magic. I wish I'd been there this time around.

31 Days, 31 Horror Movies: The Shrine

I've passed The Shrine by a few times, I don't think I ever even put it in my queue. I'm not sure why, really. The cover image is no better or worse than any other I've seen. Yes, it's got a poor rating on Netflix - around 2 1/2 stars if I remember correctly - but that's never really stopped me from watching horror films before. If I have to pin down a reason, it's probably the title. There's just nothing about it that jumps out at me and says horror. It just seems more passive or even innocuous than, say, The Church. Or even (and more appropriately) The Statue. I just associate it more with quiet contemplation or Buddhist temples or Shinto.  It's a gap in my mental net and the movie just passed right through it.

The Medium

Streaming on Netflix.

The Movie

The Shrine starts off with a bang - that of a sledghammer slamming down on a metal mask - as an apparent cult really does a number on a young guy, strapping him to a table before the hammer comes down, the metal mask over his face.

That mask really does go with every outfit, though.

After that, we're introduced to Carmen (Cindy Sampson), the kind of journalist that ignores her bosses orders to stop investigating a story - and ignores her boyfriend, Marcus (Aaron Ashmore), as well. To be fair, it does seem like her story is worth pursuing - a number of tourists have gone missing in Poland over the years, and she has a line on the family of a recent disappearance - this is Eric, the young man from the opening scene. As her boyfriend is a photographer, she manages to convince him to come to Poland with her and her assistant, Sara (Meghan Heffern) to shoot pictures for her eventual story. Assuming she's not summarily fired for doing the trip behind her editor's back.

During a good chunk of the start of this movie - hell, maybe the whole first half - I was not really impressed. It's got some mood, one good jump scare and a couple of good actors - I always like Aaron Ashmore - but it feels thin and almost cheap, like a SyFy picture. The lead, Sampson, is just okay in her role and she plays Carmen with an almost flat affect that makes everyone else around her seem to be over-emoting. It feels like she (and to a lesser extent, Heffern) is playing a character in a monster movie and the others - Ashmore in particular - play their characters like they're in a drama. Carmen is constantly going places, saying things and doing things that only make sense in a monster movie. Ashmore's character is like a normal person, constantly saying things like "We should leave." and "That's not a good idea."

Get used to that expression, you'll see it a lot.

He's right of course, it's not a good idea. None of it.

Directed to the small town of Alvania (which sounds like a location in a GI Joe cartoon) by Eric's journal they find the place to be a bit time-lost, with dirt roads, open fields and a lot of distrustful town folk. Near a small church with a strange symbol they see a weird, stationary cloud hovering over the forest. It's mentioned in Eric's journal, so they head that way, but are stopped by a group of villagers with pitchforks. Well, I think one of them had a pitchfork. Might have been a rake. You get the idea. The leader, a guy named Henryk (seen earlier butchering a hog) mistakes them for 'English' and demands they leave.

The guys in the back did NOT get the Ren Fair dress code note.

Marcus is only too happy to oblige, but Carmen has other ideas. She's not leaving without finding out what happened to Eric. They park the car and head overland through the woods before coming across a wall of dense fog that seems to be just sitting there, not moving, not dissipating. While Marcus and Carmen argue about what to do, Sara enters the fog and quickly disappears from sight. After some time goes by, Carmen enters the fog after her.

And Marcus stays back, as the only sane one.

This is the point at which things start to turn around in the film for me. Up until this point I've only been vaguely interested and neither the characters nor their interpersonal drama have done anything to deepen that interest. The town and it's folk are weird, yeah, but it could be any of a hundred 'villages with a secret' in a hundred different horror movies.

Ah, but you see, the secret they're hiding is, of course, in the fog. And once Carmen has found it, it's really too late for them all to leave.

I said no pictures!

The events of the film after that completely won me over. It went from a film I didn't really like much to a film I was happy to be watching. It kept me guessing longer than it probably should have, but I'd been lulled into thinking it was one kind of film before it switched gears and went a bit crazy on me. Nothing in the first half of the film really prepares you for how violent and weird things get - so this is me, preparing you. It gets weird and violent.

And also voilent and weird.

There is an extended sequence of what I consider torture, about two thirds of the way through the film. A character is subjected to the same sort of thing that the initial scene showed, but it's drawn out and extremely tough to watch. I could have done with this being a lot shorter - you get the idea pretty quick - but on the other hand it serves to set your mind in a certain direction, so I get why they did it - I just don't like it much.

The Bottom Line

The Shrine is a movie that overcomes a pretty stale premise and a very slow first half to become something really worth watching. It's not fine cinema and you may end up feeling like you should have seen certain things coming, but it still leaves you feeling like you watched a decent horror movie. And given how I felt when it started, that's a pretty big accomplishment.

31 Days, 31 Horror Movies: Unintended Final Destination Double Feature

So I watched Final Destination last night, and then this morning realized that it was actually Final Destination 2 that had been recommended to me. SO - unintentional theme nights! I might not be able to watch anything tomorrow - and will almost certainly not be able to post (I'll be spending 6-7 hours on the road), so I figured I'd write them both up tonight.

Final Destination 1 and 2

I saw the first Final Destination a long time ago (it came out in 2000, which is long enough ago to have freaked me out a bit when I realized that). I enjoyed it, but not a lot and not enough for it to make a real dent in my general disdain for the late 90's/early 00's horror desert. It wasn't until 2002 and 28 Days Later and The Ring that I started to feel like what Hollywood was calling horror was worth seeing again, rather than I Know What You Did Last Summer or Scream sequels. (As with anything, there were exceptions: Blair Witch, Event Horizon, and In the Mouth of Madness, to name a few.)

The point is, Final Destination was a blip, a nothing. I was vaguely aware that there were sequels, but I was always generally wary of franchise horror anyway - and nothing in the first film made me think the follow-ups would be worth watching. To be honest - wasn't really looking forward to watching it again.

Me, trying to get up the interest to watch the movie.

The Medium

I watched both films on Amazon. The first is available as part of Amazon Prime. Part three is available on Netflix. The others (there are five in total) aren't on any streaming service I pay for - but are available for rent. This is where I quietly protest that having rando numbers of a series is just wrong and all streaming services should go in a corner and think about what they've done.

The Movies

Final Destination

Alright, let me just get right to it: I enjoyed this movie this time around. In fact, I enjoyed it a lot. There. Admitting you have a problem is the first step, right? Yes, the acting is not always (or often) very good. And yes, the plot is basically an excuse to string together some elaborate deaths. And yet there's just something about it...

Alex (Devon Sawa, looking like an adolescent Jeremy Renner) has a dream in which the plane he's on explodes. He freaks out and a number of people - mostly classmates and one teacher - end up being told to leave the plane. Which then takes off and promptly explodes. Alex and his classmates struggle with various degrees of survivor's guilt - and various levels of dislike of/gratitude to Alex - until it becomes clear that they are all dying, one by one. Death, it seems, doesn't like to be cheated.

None of these people end up on the island in Lost.

That's the basic plot. There are more details - Tony Todd even lays down some basic rules as a creepy mortician (listen to the Candyman, kiddies, dude knows what he's talking about) - but they're incidental. What matters is that death is coming for each of them, and it will stack the deck - with lots of ways for each character to die - until it gets them all.

Lot of familiar faces in this movie. Part of that is Glen Morgan and James Wong (writers, as well as Producer and Director respectively) - they've brought a some folks with them from The X-Files and Space, Above and Beyond. Tony Todd. Others like Ali Larter, Kerr Smith and Sean William Scott have gone on to have pretty good careers. I kept thinking "Oh, they were in this?"

Like any good slasher movie - and make no mistake, the Final Destination films are slasher movies in which death has just cut out the middle-man - the kills are the main reason for watching. Yes, it's nice that we actually do come to care - a little - for the characters, particularly Larter's Clear Rivers and Sawa's Alex, but the characters are pretty bare bones. It's pretty hard to get too invested in people you know are going to die - so it's the lead up to their deaths that becomes the primary point of tension.

 That's really the best part for me, in Final Destination. The buildup before the deaths. The gas in the stove top going out, a cup cracking, the camera focusing on knives, and dripping vodka leaving a trail from the kitchen to the living room and back. I sit there, leaning slightly forward, wondering which of these possibly deadly things is it going to be that kills the character? Or will it be all of them?

All of 'em. Yep.

I really do prefer the complicated, Rube Goldberg sort of deaths like that of the teacher, Ms. Lewton (Kristen Cloke). The sudden jump scares like Terry's death by bus just aren't as much... well, fun.

Knowing death has a plan leads one naturally to thinking that you can circumvent it, which the characters proceed to try and do. I'm not always clear on the order of things or who is supposed to be next or why, but honestly - it doesn't really matter. In the words of Death himself (albeit from another movie): 'you might be a king or a lowly street sweeper, but sooner or later you dance with the reaper."

The Bottom Line

Surprisingly entertaining on a second viewing, with a dark sense of humor and care paid to both creating tension and relieving it. Final Destination is not high art, but it is a fun ride.

Final Destination 2

The first rule of slasher sequels is that you always up the body count and Final Destination 2 fails in this, the most basic requirement. It does, however, have a spectacular opening sequence featuring a logging track and a highway full of people driving heavy metal and plastic projectiles full of flammable liquid. It's pretty damn amazing and manages to outdo the original's plane explosion.

Unfortunately, it's all a bit of a letdown after that.

It's not that it's bad, per se - it's a fairly watchable film - it's just that the director (David R. Ellis - who would go on to direct Snakes on a Plane) doesn't have the same deft touch with building tension as James Wong. He's got the same setup - character has premonition, avoids own death and saves others, death itself starts coming for them - but the buildup to each inevitable death is just... I dunno, it almost feels like it's by-the-numbers. The closest he gets to building real tension is the kid in the dentist's office - which doesn't pay off at all. The death comes outside of the office and is basically the bus death from the first movie all over again.

That log truck opening, though... Let's go watch that again.

There's a little more universe building, which is another required aspect of a sequel. There are more rules, more Tony Todd and Ali Larter's Clear returns. The reasons for people dying are a little more convoluted than last time, as is the plan they hatch to save themselves. The deaths are decently done, but in addition to not having much buildup they're also... quick. Except for the death of the cokehead (sliced by flying barbed wire) each death is over in a flash, almost before we register that death has finally caught up with them. I THINK Ellis is trying for misdirection, but it ends up just - pardon me - killing any tension that he does manage to convey.

I can't even remember how she got her head in there in the first place.

There's also very little humor in this film, as opposed to the constant undercurrent of it in the first one. In fact it's so straight for so long that the final scene and it's gory denouement seem discordant. A dick joke at a funeral.

The Bottom Line

I feel like I was maybe a bit harsher on Final Destination 2 than it deserves. It's an okay film with better acting than the first film and some decent jumps and deaths. It's just not as much fun as the first one and watching it so soon after seeing the first made me more aware of the elements I disliked.