We lost two horror movie icons this year - Christopher Lee
and Wes Craven. It seemed appropriate that I start off the viewing this year
with one of their films. I had a hard time deciding what that initial film
should be, though. Should I start off with Christopher Lee, as he was the older
man with the larger body of work (and who had also passed first)? Should I
start with Wes Craven, who I'm more familiar with and who's more recent passing
was fresh in my mind? Beyond that, what, out of each man's oeuvre, should I
choose?
I really struggled with this last bit - should I choose a
movie that was representative, or a movie that I particularly liked? Something
familiar, or a forgotten classic? Harder with Wes Craven, as I had already
reviewed some of the obvious choices for previous versions of this thread -
Nightmare on Elm Street, for instance. For Lee it was easier in that I haven't
reviewed a lot of his work, but then the sheer volume of his films is
intimidating.
Long story short(er)(ish), I finally narrowed the choices
down to one film for each. Both from the 1970's (a favorite decade of mine for
horror films) and both films I haven't seen since I was a teenager. For Lee it
was The Wicker Man and for Craven it
was The Hills Have Eyes. I figured
I'd just watch both of them, one for today, the other for tomorrow. Still
couldn't decide which to watch first, however, so I flipped a coin. And the
winner was...
The Hills Have Eyes
(1977)
I didn't enjoy The
Hills Have Eyes when I first saw it. It was one of the earliest videotape
rentals I made, I'm fairly sure. Seeing the torn poster in the basement of the
cabin in Evil Dead certainly piqued
my interest. I've got no clear memory of that viewing, however, just the vague
sense that I didn't like it very much and that Michael Berryman was one creepy
looking mofo.
If I watched it soon after renting Evil Dead for the first time I can see why I was disappointed - the
gore in Hills is minimal, the
production quality uniformly low, the acting generally amateurish, and the story
as bare-bones as it gets. I'm not saying Evil
Dead is a paragon of cinema, but in all those areas it beats Hills fairly handily (and that's saying
something with the acting).
 |
| One creepy looking mofo |
The Hills Have Eyes
is, perhaps, more fairly compared with The Texas Chainsaw Massacre - they both
feature a travelling group who run afoul of cannibalistic outsiders - but Hills
also fails in this comparison, coming close only in the characters the villains.
Papa Jupiter and his clan are no real match for Leatherface and his, however.
Whatever the reason, The
Hills Have Eyes ranks fairly low on my mental list of horror movies that
I've seen, so it was fair to say I had low expectations going into this
viewing. I haven't seen it since the 1980's, however, and I've had to re-evaluate
a lot of films that I watched back then.
The Medium
I watched this on Amazon Streaming. The quality was fairly
poor, but I don't know if that was my connection or the film.
The Movie
After a nicely creepy intro - titles over silhouetted desert
hilltops - I ran into my first disconnect with memory. In my head the movie
started with the Carter family just showing up at the desert gas station. I'd
forgotten the whole bit with Ruby and the old guy. I also don't remember her
wearing normal clothes. Later events suddenly make a lot more sense to me.
So, basic premise,
the Carter family - ex-cop Bob , matriarchal mom Ethel, married couple Lynne
and Doug with their baby Katie, and younger siblings Bobby and Brenda. They
also have two German shepherds, Beauty and Beast.
 |
| Prototypical annoying American family |
I'm just going to put this out there - Beast is the real
hero of this movie. I'm still pissed about the poodle in Florida, but that's on
your owners. Other than that, you're a good boy, Beast! Given enough time I
think you'd have taken all of them out.
 |
| Who's a good murderous killer? You are! You are! |
Anyway, the Carters are on a cross-country trip to
California. Bob has gotten it into his head to find an abandoned silver mine on
the way and - ignoring warnings from family and stranger alike - drives the
family and their camper/trailer out into the middle of nowhere, where he
promptly wrecks the car. And blames it on his wife.
Bob and Doug head out to find help - Bob back to the gas
station and Doug to a military base indicated on their maps. The rest of the
family squabbles and annoys each other (and me) for a while, before Beauty
escapes her leash and runs off into the desert, with Bobby close behind.
Eventually he finds her - but someone or something has disemboweled the dog.
Something moving nearby frightens Bobby and he flees, eventually falling and
knocking himself out.
 |
| "Should we really have put this poster in the baby's room?" |
Night falls. The family seems strangely sanguine about Bobby
being missing in the dark in the desert.
Bob finally reaches the gas station where he finds the owner
busily hanging himself. Bob seems less than sympathetic, but I'm sure that's
just his gruff exterior. Eventually he gets the story about the man's son Jupiter,
a malignant horror that he eventually ran off (by hitting him in the face with
a tire iron). Now Jupiter lives in the desert with his family, a group of
degenerate cannibals that feed on the unwary or unlucky traveler that wanders
into their patch of the desert.
Then Jupiter - in the first truly cool, scary moment - pulls
his father out through a window and beats the old man to death. With a tire iron.
Bob flees, but is eventually captured by Jupiter (after what appears to be a
heart attack).
Meanwhile, the rest of Jupiter's clan - particularly the
monstrous Mars and Pluto - are busily stalking the rest of the Carters. Bobby
finally shows up, but doesn't mention anything about hearing noises or
something killing Beauty. Because, you know, reasons.
Things get spectacularly bad for the Carters pretty damn
quickly. Bob is crucified on a set on fire within site of the trailer, Lynne is
killed, Ethel gut-shot, Barbara raped, and the baby stolen - all within roughly five minutes. Mars even
takes the time to kill the pet parakeet.
 |
| Nobody is getting 'children of the year' awards for their actions in this movie, FYI. |
I must admit, I was finally hooked at this point. Usually a
siege film like this spends a good chunk of time picking off people one by one
- not here. The family is suddenly halved, with a baby missing. It was brutal
and unexpected, even though I'd seen it before.
Things are a bit more typical Craven from this point on,
with the survivors forced to become just as vicious and violent as their
opponents in order to survive and protect their own. There are some excellent
set pieces involving a corpse used as bait and a bald guy being stalked by a
dog. (Good boy, Beast!) Some dark humor as well, as when Pluto tricks Bobby
into disclosing information about their defenses.
The ending is a bit abrupt, but the good guys seem to win.
Of course how far did they have to go to do so?
Bottom Line
You know, I still don't really like this film. It's... it's
okay. It has moments. That first attack. Jupiter's assault and Bobby and
Barbara's defense. There's some nice framing of the vast, uncaring desert and
the tiny Carter encampment. Michael Berryman is still one creepy looking dude.
 |
| Creepy, I'm telling you. |
In the end, however, it's feels threadbare and slapped
together. The pacing is either so slow as to make you yawn or so frenetic you
find yourself wondering what just happened. What little gore there is is almost
laughably bad. And the acting is - well, it's not the worst I've seen, but it
made me want to slap a lot of people.
I'm actually pretty impressed with the jump in Wes Craven's
skills between this and Swamp Thing, the next film of his that I've seen
(still haven't watched Deadly Blessing).
Just thinking about it in this moment, I think I actually
enjoyed it more while I was watching it than I do looking back on it, if that
makes sense. It was a decent enough ride, but all the things that bothered me
look even worse in the light of the next day.
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