31 Days, 31 Horror Movies: Holidays

Once I'd decided to watch Tales of Halloween I found myself casting about for another anthology film to add to the theme. I hadn't decided I was going to be quite as specific as I ended up being, I just wanted another anthology film. I couldn't bring myself to watch V/H/S: Viral or The ABC's of Death, given how many warnings I'd been given about each. Then Netflix decided to recommend this movie called Holidays . With Netflix's newer rating system giving me precious little to go on, I decided to give it a shot.

Holidays (2016)

There was definitely a time in the 80's where it felt like no holiday would go untouched by horror's black and bloody brush. We had Halloween and Friday the 13th. There was Black Christmas and New Year's Evil. April Fool's Day, My Bloody Valentine, and even Mother's Day. I think that's why I so appreciated Eli Roth's contribution to the faux trailers added to Grindhouse - Thanksgiving. It hit all the right notes regarding those slasher flicks of old and is still my favorite thing Roth has done.

So it's something of a surprise that no one has actually done a holiday themed horror anthology before. (And now is the part where someone tells me about all the holiday themed horror anthologies I've missed or forgotten.) It seems like a no-brainer, really. Oh, I know there have been segments - Creepshow's "Father's Day" being a standout - I just figured someone else would have made an entire film based around them.

The Medium

Streaming on Netflix. My budget is limited this year, so there'll be a lot of films available on streaming or from the personal collection. There's a DVD release, but no Blu-ray, so streaming is probably the highest quality you'll see this film.

The Film

There is no framing sequence or linking characters/audio in Holidays at all. Sometimes I find those things tedious or distracting, but when they're absent I wonder what kind of frame the films could have had.  In this case I think it's probably best not to have one, as I'm not sure what could have linked these extremely disparate stories. The theme will have to do, and the filmmakers tackle each holiday in calendar order.

"Valentine's Day"

A girl on the swim team is bullied by a classmate while pining for her coach, who has his own problems. A standard plot with a violent punch line is somewhat lifted by good cinematography and loopy daydream sequences as Maxine contemplates her coach. The humor in Holidays is quite a bit darker and less... fun, I guess, than that in Tales of Halloween.

"You choo-choo-choose me! And there's a picture of a train..."

"St. Patrick's Day"

          A school teacher who desperately wants children takes an interest in a new student. The strange little girl weaves a grass snake for her teacher and leaves a note saying "only your deepest wish can make me smile." After a night of St. Patrick's Day debauchery, she finds herself pregnant - however it's not, exactly, the child she was hoping for. I liked this one for most of it, having a distinctly weird and off-kilter mood, but it's let down by an ending that was significantly more light-hearted and goofy than the rest of it.

That is absolutely NOT what I thought it was at first.

"Easter"

I think it's difficult to make an Easter-themed film that's really horrifying, but this actually manages it. Stephen King tells a story (and I can't remember if it was in Danse Macabre or one of his introductions) about his childhood fear of something called a "Twinight Double Header." A two head monstrosity he conjured up after hearing adults talking about couple of night-time baseball games. In "Easter" a young girl meets the mix-up of an Easter Bunny and Jesus (after asking her mother about how both related to Easter), and holy hell is that a disturbing image. There's not really much to the story itself, but the image of a rabbit-headed Christ demanding a child touch his stigmata is one that's going to linger.

Just go back to bed. We'll all be happier if you don't see anything else.

"Mother's Day"

I think a lot of the filmmakers in this anthology took the 'comedy' part of 'dark comedy' as more of a suggestion than a rule. This story of a woman who gets pregnant every time she has sex goes to some dark places and is (mostly) played straight. I didn't like it much, but it's internally consistent and has some interesting visuals.

Worst. Grateful Dead concert. Ever.

"Father's Day"

By far my favorite of the bunch. A young woman (House of the Devil's Jocelin Donahue) receives a tape and tape recorder from her father - who she has thought long-dead. She follows the taped instructions - much of the film involves her walking through weirdly abandoned urban landscapes while her father's voice speaks to her from tape. It's eerie and interesting and has a great sense of looming doom and sadness. The ending is unclear, but I have my suspicions. Glad I watched the movie for this section alone.

"Halloween"

*sigh* And then there's this, the worst of the bunch. I think Kevin Smith is generally a better filmmaker than this story, which features a group of cam girls getting revenge on their pimp/employer.

"Christmas"

This is actually more what I expected from 'dark comedy,' and comes the closest to emulating the more 'fun' mood of Tales of Halloween. A harried dad (Seth Green) is out looking for the big gift of the season, a set of VR glasses that show you content based on your online profile and personality. He's too late, as another guy has bought the last pair. When that guy has a heart attack the dad momentarily thinks about calling 911, before simply stealing the glasses. Of course the glasses are a bit more than advertised... Very much in the Tales From the Crypt sort of style. Fun, without making much of an impression.

"Oh God, it really does have my browser history!"

"New Year's Eve"

Two lonelyhearts swipe right on each other and meet for a New Year's Eve date. Of course from the opening sequence we know the guy is a serial killer, so... Your basic 'ironic comeuppance' tale, but decent enough. I did laugh out loud at the 'twist,' even though I saw it coming from the first minute.

This is actually how I think all online dating hookups end.

The Bottom Line

Holidays isn't as much fun as Tales of Halloween, but it does have more moments of genuine horror (and generally a much higher level of acting/production value). If I had to choose, I'd probably go with Tales, as it's way more fun (I should stop using that word) and would probably be easier to watch again. That being said, I did love "Father's Day" a lot. And that Easter Christ Bunny is going to stay with me for a while. *shudder*

The Bottom Bottom Line
I didn't enjoy either Tales of Halloween or Holidays as much as I did Trick 'r Treat, but I DID enjoy them.